1
It was just after midnight when he heard a loud voice coming from the kitchen.2
“Fire!” at this single word he jumped out of bed and ran to the hall.3
“The chimney's on fire, do something!” his mother screamed in panic.4
On the other side of the world, a woman had a bad dream, which she couldn’t wake from, and though in a deep sleep, she felt anguished dread.5
Panic was also what he felt at that moment. Still groggy from his sudden waking, he ran to the woodstove and closed off the damper. Then rushed outside into the cold winter air, not caring to put on a coat. He grabbed a ladder near the garage door and climbed onto the roof, throwing a bucket of water down the chimney, causing a cloud of white steam and dark smoke to rise.6
“It's fine, I caught it in time, the fire's out!” he assured his mother in a tired but relieved voice. “Go back to bed, I’ll stay awake and make sure everything is okay.” he sounded calm, but inside his nerves raced knowing they'd escaped a near tragedy.7
At seven o'clock, the alarm rang; she awoke, and though she couldn't explain it, she felt that something wasn’t quite right.8
Author notes
True story 
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
-
Very good job. You dove right into action here! I love the use of italics, wonderful effect.
This may be a true story, but it has potential. The intuitive can go further till the two characters meet.
-HT
-
pretty good...
I loved the second part where it is italicized... Good grammar and spelling... over all pretty good story.... Good job
-
LINE 2: “Fire!” at this...
Capital A needed.
Comma splice error, ", do something.:
No commas, use a period instead.
Hm...very interesting paralel storytelling. Good work! -
This was interesting. It certainly kept me gripped. ha ha
Wonderful take and very well written story. : )
-
It was just after midnight when he heard a loud voice coming from the kitchen, “Fire!”
At this single word he jumped out of bed and ran to the hall.
A good read. My one thought would be to put "FIRE" in the first line as that is to whom it belongs.
just a thought.
John
-
very interesting
This is really interesting... I like how this ends too, with the woman waking up and something not right. But, what is the connection between the woman and the family with the house on fire? Or is this just a little pre- story of something more? Anyways, I think it's really cool, and I'm interested on hearing how this is a true story.
-
-
Hi, thanks for reading and commenting. This all happens almost exctly as it was told. I live in Belgium, he lives in Maine, a very long distance relationship! We know each other for about one and half year and have been together for one year now as couple. We talk every single day, when we aren't working or sleeping, we spend pretty much all our time talking. The connection between us is great, and often we complete each other's sentence and thoughts. I don't know if I had a premonition or not, but I did woke up worried at the same hour the chamney started to burn there. First thing I did when I woke up was to send him a message asking if he was OK :)
-
-
wow... that's really neat! It's so sweet that you guys have such a strong connection. :)
-
-
-
These sorts of dreams intrigue me very much for that I bought a book that describes the meaning of dreams… I often wonder does our soul leave us and go for an astral travel when we are in deep slumber.
this is fascinating….
mina
-
I don't usually remember my dreams unless they are particularly gruesome or involve dead people. When I do remember them I've learned from past experience they have a significant meaning; usually a glimpse of the future. Perhaps in this case that is what happened too.
Sincerely,
Leo Long -
What a tragedy that would have been
It's kinda mysterious what you've written here (at least, to me) cause I really didn't catch it the first time I read 
I was confused about the woman in italics 
but now I got it
and really
what a hero isn't he
drool drool 
-
Well, some years back we found an old phone pole, and as we had a chainsaw handy made short work of it. Well old phone poles are made with Creasote and of course you know what causes chimney fires...creasote build up. That was our first one, but after discovering that our chimney really didn't have any problems we just more of less let the second one burn itself out. As to pouring water down the chimney which was suggested by the fire department, we opted against it. First it might crack the chimney second it would surely leave the nasty creasote behind to burn at some later date.
We finally gave in and bought a chimney brush, likely a good investment as we haven't had a chimney fire since. Can't say I didn't somewhat enjoy the whooshing noise a good chimney fire makes nor the excitement of getting woken from my sleep by the smoke, but it made for good unplanned entertainment... after we knew the chimney could take it.
This thing about someone waking up half way around the world, She'd have to have to be a pretty light sleeper and have a mighty sensative nose or hearing. Still, it's nice to know your not panicing alone.
-
You and Yem have done more than three collaborations. Though the three you mention tend to be "real" collaborations and the others I speak of are more...you write them and I post them.
Think Gaze would want to collaborate with me? What does she know about Quantum Physics?
Here have 10 points. -
You should be in bed!!! Bit I'm glad you came and read it
A sequel, I hope not! I don't like having dreams that make me feel worried, and I certainly hope that Yem doesn't get in any dangerous situation as that one! We'll write other stories together though, IF he doesn't get tired of them.
Kisses and get well soon! -
Mi querida Hija,
The capabilities and powers of the subconscious mind, like those of the human spirit, go beyond normal conscious recognition. I just awoke from dreaming about AP in which I knew that, because I haven't been on much for several days because I've been ill, there was something of yours which I should read and on which I should comment.
So here I am at 3.23am, wondering if this is what I was meant to find or whether there's something else that you've written which I've missed so far. If there is something else and your disappointed because I haven't found it, please send me the link darling?
Anyway, applause for this unmcanny story. Is there a sequel?
Love and hugs, XXX El Padre. -
Thanks Marg. It was long indeed, I added a period there
When I woke up yesterday the first thing I did was to check my messenger. I left a message to Mayne and when he came online he told me what had happened. -
i promised myself last night when i saw you ahd posted this that i would come and read it when i was not running around, thinking story, it is going to be long i find i assumed too much there - it is not very long at all, still it is nice to just sit here relaxing and read it, and now i will go and read it
strange are dreams - yesterday i went for a sleep and was having some mad dreams as ever lol and was woken up by a knock on the door, a single knock knuckle knoc not letterbox knock, and i just couldn't distinguish if it was reality or in the dream so just waited to see if they knocked again. no one did, but i thought, someone still knocked and woke me up
there was a fire here a couple of weeks back, not here in my home but in a flat on the floor i live, thankfully for me, it was the other side of the block, and did not spread to my flat or do any damage to me at all. unluckily though it was someone else's flat. but thankfully all that was burned was the flat and a telly and such, no people. so all is well
-
Uncanny , but true-these things just happen when you are so involved with someone ,even if you are miles apart,you can sense moments with them - like they say the mind has the most complex yet most powerful releam- and when two minds are so well entertwined you live the others moments too-very beautiful
-
excellent~
Wow sis
Are you some sort of seer??? Sometimes I get the distinct impression of dejavu......and sometimes I can sense things also I have also learned to follow my own intution as well
The title suits the poem perfectly
Love n hugs
Susan~~~
-
This is much like the dreams I have at times. I have had them come true far too many times. I can usually tell which ones they will be because they leave me with such dread upon awakening. I had a dream about my mother-in-law's heart attack and one about losing my brakes. I hadn't had any problems with my brakes, but the dream played out with every detail. As far as my mother-in-law, she had been just fine until a week after my dream.
These events are too eerie! -
I have heard of things like this happening, especially between twins. My grandmother sent my grandfather back to Finland to see his father because of a dream; when he got there the old man was on his deathbed. Go figure.
Very well told, Mari, there is great drama in the middle paragraph. The sentence "Then rushed outside..." runs on and on, perhaps it can be divided.
-
Wow Babe, nicely written and created...and if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I'd have called you nuts. But it's just another sign I think. As a logical fellow I say it is impossible, but as an occasional romantic, I toss reason away and accept the implausible
We're inteconnected and that we can see when we complete each other's thoughts or say the same thing at the same time. It's kinda fun but also shows how well we became to know each other. I guess that is why it's so easy working with you on those stories, fiction or not
Adding your comment:
1 - 22 of 22
