Realife Star Signs

Today the weather shall be wet, cold and windy, there may even be gale force winds outside Pound Stretchers.1

REAL LIFE STAR SIGNS2

Aries3

Today you shall be your usual daring self and venture out looking as gorgeous as ever.  However your umbrella shall turn inside out, outside Pound Stretchers.  You’ll treat yourself to some new clothes and curse people who keep getting in your way.4

Taurus5

Today you won’t go out, you won’t use the phone either as you like to save your money.  You’ll stay in and listen to your new CD and show off to your friends if they come round.  You’ll also make sure all your cupboards are nice and tidy.6

Gemini7

You don’t see any point in going out – you’ve got a phone.  You’ll give all your friends a ring.  If they’re upset you’ll cheer them up and of course you’ll have a good gossip.  You’ll probably be on the phone all day as you have loads of friends.8

Cancer9

Today you’ll go to Broadwalk and dream about what you’d buy if you won the Lottery.  The when you haven’t won the Lottery you’ll get really depressed and realise that you haven’t got any decent clothes.  Even if they look good on everyone else.10

Leo11

You’re so pleased its raining, you can show off your new coat.  You’ll walk up and down Broadwalk hoping that everyone’s looking at you.  You’ll buy the biggest and most expensive gift for your partner and loads of new clothes for yourself.12

Virgo13

You don’t want to go out, as it’s raining.  You have a nice grown up chat to one of your friends over the phone.  Not not for long so you don’t run up your phone bill.  You make sure your house is tidy and as always go to bed at 10 o’clock on the dot.14

Libra15

You’ll clean your house (which you cleaned yesterday) till it shines.  Then you take a cab to go shopping in Brent Cross, then another cab back as you don’t like getting wet.  When you get home you’ll have a nice cup of tea and finish your knitting.16

Scorpio17

You look out of the window, see the rain and go back to bed till 3 pm.  Then you’ll go off and make a nuisance of yourself, smoke some drugs and make rude suggestive comments to all the girls.18

Sagittarius19

Today is a great day for an adventure.  You’ll go on a bud to somewhere exciting like Kilburn, Wood Green or even up West.  Then you’ll go to a night club and boogie the night away.20

Capricorn21

You don’t mind a bit of rain so you’ll go and do your shopping, sensibly dressed of course.  You’ll help an old lady across the road.  When you get home you’ll work your finances out carefully to see if you should have splashed out on that cream bun.22

Aquarius23

Today you’ll visit a friend, or you’ll friend will visit you.  You’ll talk about mundane things not deep things, cos their private.  Of course at some point you’ll worry about the rain forests, and you’ll put all your old papers for recycling.24

Pisces25

When you see the weather you’ll feel quite depressed.  Then you’ll go out and try to help loads of people.  When you get home you’ll feel sad for all the lonely people and have a good cry for them.26