Debbie1
Mum was knitting for the school Christmas bazaar. I sat watching her, I was five. She knitted two baby dolls and I fell in love with them.2
"Can I have one of them?" I asked.3
"We'll see," was the reply. We'll see seemed to mean no.4
On the day of the school bazaar we were given 20p each to spend. I went straight to the craft stall and bought one of the babies, I called her Debbie.5
Debbie has been everywhere with me, on all my holidays and stayed in hospital with me. She still sleeps in my bed now!! I enjoy making dolls and my son who's five and a half sits and watches me.6
"Can we keep her?" he asks when I've made one.7
"Yes of course we can," I say, I haven't the heart to give them away because I remember my Mum giving Debbie away.8
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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I love the name Debbie, which is what drew me to this story. The juxtaposition between her and her mother is nice, because it shows that what we learn from our parents helps us parent.
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Aweee that's an extremely cute story. My grandma made me something like that once, but it was a dog
. I still have it. I agree that it could be an anti-abortion piece. Great job!
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Aww..
It kinda could be interpreted as an anti-abortion piece, which makes it all very deep. I loved this: short and sweet. ^^. -
awww, that's cute. I like it a lot, I would be sooo torn up if my mom gave away my childhood doll, cute story, I liked it =DD
-Dani -
Aww. It's a touching childhood story without being corny or romanticised.
You use actions instead of words to tell us how you feel.. and that's always a great thing. Showing is way better than telling, especially when it's something so personal an life changing as this.
I love that it's a relatively small event that changed you so much. -
I like the memories of childhood surfacing in the presant situation. a nice pleasant story.
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 3.
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is that true?
cuz its really cute! -
"I sat watching her, I was five"
Commasplice error, whereby you use a comma as a period instead of a ";" or a "." .
The 2nd "we'll see" needs to be in quotation marks as it is being quoted from the mother's speech.
Try not to overuse exclamation marks as they tend to distract the reader.
The ending made me smile. Very cute.
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This was sweet and yet in some ways, very sad. : (
I think it's wonderful how the "Character" spent her time knitting dollies and her son watching. It was a nice memory. : )
Awesome Story!
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cute. children's story. nice. I've read a children's story very very like this already though...
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such a cute story! it is simple and honest, and is lovely to read! such a small thing can make a wonderful memory, and you have translated this beautifully into your story. great job!
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I like this story. It is just a nice little story about a girl who wants a doll. It is so simple yet it is really good. Keep up the good work.
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Awww. This is really sweet!! I love real life stories and this was just one of those ones that you treasure forever! Brilliant work here!!
Kitty xx
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