"The Letter"1
This was it. Sara sighed, glancing down at the envelope. She shivered as the wind whipped her hair in front of her face, her gloved hand pushing strands of hair back behind her ear. In the other hand she clasped the envelope tightly, so that it wouldn't blow away. This was the letter that would make or break the rest of her life.2
She glanced over the typed address, over the official seal holding the envelope together. She didn't want to open it, but she needed to. "Stephen..." she whispered, holding the envelope close to her body. She shivered again, the wind biting at her face.3
She slid her gloved finger under the seal, slowly opening the envelope and pulling out the letter. The envelope was carefully placed in her coat pocket; the hand holding the letter was shaking violently, but not because of the cold. Anxiety flickered across her face; Sara's stomach lurched. Without her consent, her hands unfolded the piece of paper. This piece of paper meant so much--who knew that a piece of paper could mean so much?4
Slowly, her eyes skimmed the text, tears filling them. She bit back a sob, collapsing onto the bench that was behind her, gasping at the cold pressing through her clothes to her skin. 5
"I-I can't believe it..." she whispered to herself between sobs. She read the letter over and over again before she couldn't see through her tears. The wind pushed the letter about in her hand, as if it were trying to take the letter from her, but her tight grip wasn't loosening. She looked up at the dark sky, staring at the blackness as the tears rolled down her cheeks.6
"He's alive..." she muttered, a smile breaking out across her face, a slight laugh of disbelief gracing her voice. "They found him..."7
She continued to smile wider, wiping away her tears, holding the letter close to her heart. She had never heard better news. Her husband was still alive, and his location was found; no injuries. He would be returning to her, all in one piece, for Christmas.8
Author notes
yet another one of my childs short stories..she is much more talented than her mother...please critique
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Well written
she has talent doesn't she...read the others..they're very different..all three of them...rose garden is creepy though..i warn you..although has gorgeous imagerybeginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 3, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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Yeah I prefer that one, nice happy ending. The tension of waiting and expecting to hear bad news when she's opened it is good and held my attention really well.
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 3, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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Beautiful intro. Very gripping, especially the "make or break" line!
"until she couldn't see through her tears" would suit better. Just a thought.
Aww, the ending was so sweet. I thought it was bad news. Way to twist the audience!
Good work. Keep writing. You have potential. And I do not go around saying that normally.
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she has talent doesn't she...read the others..they're very different..all three of them...rose garden is creepy though..i warn you..although has gorgeous imagry
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loved it
wow this has power you can tell it is from the heart -
yep..it's my favorite too..she's really descriptive... she wants to be a writer one day...i hope she makes it...
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Yeah I prefer that one, nice happy ending. The tension of waiting and expecting to hear bad news when she's opened it is good and held my attention really well.
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