Letter #1 of 571
Tom--2
I'm hardly a dramatic, hell I'm really hardly much of anything some days. But I swear as you drove and the wind whipped at my face, I saw the world slip by. In a haze of tears and subdued sorrow, I tried to promise myself I would not cry. I absolutely Would NOT cry. 3
So much for that.4
You had held me the night before, brushed you soft lips upon mine and told me "Baby, no matter what, come back to this night ok? Promise me you'll try. Promise."5
And like always, I promised, thinking I would be able to handle it. I promised to go back to the night of sweet warmth and comfort, lost in your scent, knowing we were dreaming of the same things. Trying desperately not to allow my heart to know we would not have each other for many nights ahead.6
You spoke of joining the Navy months ago. I never thought you would actually go. And when you came home and showed me your contract, I couldn't deny it anymore. You had held me like you always do; kissed me as you always have. You had whispered "don't cry baby, please don't cry. This is for us." Oh yes, for once I faltered, I cracked and splintered, felt every single dam I had built crash as the thoughts of abandonment flood my every waking thought. Right then and there, I wanted to hate you. Wanted to scream "SO YOU TOO?? FINE GO THEN!"7
But I still couldn't do it.8
Instead I broke, my face contorted streams of silent anguish and half self pity trailing down my face. I was so selfish. I was so many things.9
Breaking my thoughts you grabbed my hand, the other hand steady on the wheel. And oh god did it hurt. And there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.10
"You're my baby girl. I love you, you know that right?" you half whispered into my hand. I willed myself, YOU WILL NOT CRY. YOU WILL NOT--11
And I broke. I faltered. I felt every single ounce of resistance I had surrender itself to my aching heart. First one drops, then another, one hits my hand, the other forms a trail down my cheek. And I know it's breaking your heart. And I feel your car accelerate.12
You always made me feel so alive. The wind kisses my cheeks and where the tears have streaked my makeup, I can feel it cool off. My face was burning hot from trying to resist the urge to cry. I feel you hold me tighter, and then you give up holding my hand all together and reach for my shoulder and hold me close as I start to cry again.13
"Baby be a strong girl ok? Please? For me? I need you right now. I need you to be strong ok?" I hear you say somewhere above me. Your voice is growing hoarse and I know this is killing us both. I turn my face upward to give you a kiss...14
...My lips are met with a single tear. 15
You look down at me and I can see it all in your eyes. Forever passes, and another, and another. All of the forevers in the world pass in a blurry parade and we know we're done. There's nothing left, our tears dry and I regain my composure.16
We roll in the parking lot to wait for my parents to pick me up. And all I can see are your eyes, straining to not show your pain; not show your longing. You reach up and gently caress my face, and you give me a weak smile. 17
Slowly you lean in and give me the lightest of kisses and whisper "I love you. I'll be home before you know it. Just remember to go back to our last night together, just go back and you'll never be alone. I'll be right there waiting for you. I promise."18
...I'll be there tonight. I hope you're waiting.19
Author notes
This was literally letter number one of 57 that I have written to him.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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GOOD GAWD.
Do I really need to comment this?! It simply was amazing, and touching, and deep and-and...I simply can't find the right words to praise it rightfully. I really felt connected to your narrator (one of my good friend's fiancé is out there too...) so I can't tell you how much this piece was amazing. I'm too shocked by the emotion, really, your words were perfect and I really felt like I knew the man. Amazing work!
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Oh darn it I nearly cried, yet I couldn't tear my eyes away. I feel your pain and I know that I were in your position I don't know what I would've have done.
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wow!!!!amazing!!!!
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This is very emotional and touching, and it's written in a way that makes you feel it bam in your gut, because of all the beautiful details and such =)
Well written =)
beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
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It was beautiful and touching, but so sad! The emotions in this are very strong and sweet, but I was so close to crying at the end.
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I thought it was incredible! This was so unique... detailed... touching. Keep up all the amazing work. Mmmkay?
-Kevan
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Beautiful, full of emotion, lovely. It made me immensely sad reading this, yet I couldn't stop because it was so well written. I loved it, I loved the realism of it, and I hope that Tom comes back to you soon, and I hope he reads these letters.
My best of luck to the both of you. -
Amazing
I really feel the emotions in this story. I think the way you capture the emotions of leaving a loved one is great, I totally felt tears behind my eyes.
Makes me think of leaving my sweet lover, not that my story is nearly as lonesome as that.
I like how the start is the end, and you know its coming and you don't want it to, it just makes it even more sadness, it really ties in with what the character feels.
I think if written not as well it would come off far to soppy but you really pulled this off.
Loved it, thank you for writing. -
Great
I really hope he's doing well. I'm in this group because My millitary man is my big brother. My brother was injured about 2 weeks ago in an IED attack. I really hope that you don't have to go through that. But I really like this letter here, sorta reminds me of what I wrote Pete only slightly different because he's my brother.
-Liz
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wow
this was absolutely fantastic. I love your descriptions and emotion.beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 3, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 3.
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I loved your tale it is one of the better ones that I have read since i joined this site. You are slightly off track at times. But I saw no problems with where the letters are going.
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This is so sweet and so sad. I don't know what I'd do if my boyfriend left. I'd probably be very much like this character. It's very relatable and I can't wait to read the rest. It just made me want to cry for her. I almost did in fact.. Can't wait for the next letter..
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This letter brought tears to my eyes. You weave alot of emotion into the character (yourself
) which probably makes it easier to write about it. However... Im not sure that Tom needs to read these kinds of letters while he is away in the military, if it made me cry then it will probably do worse to the one whom it is meant for. I dont mean to pry or anything, but i think that sending letters saying how well you are accepting the fact that he is doing the right thing would be the best choice... i dont know how the other letters go, but im sure ill read some of them later.
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Woah..
Very emotional. Some of the phrases are what I would use to express some of my own feelings. This brought tears to my eyes and I hope the letters are helping you to feel close to him. He's with you in spirit.
Moon Bless.
Kenaz.beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, overall: 10, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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fantastics
this is a really good you dont know how good. verry nice writebeginning: 5, plot: 5, overall: 10, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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when am i gonna get the rest of the letters i loved these it made me CRY
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arrrr i wanna cry
arrrr hun i felt every bit you going through as i have been there myself in the past, so i know how you feel brillent cos it true and i cant wait to read the next one lead on and i will walk with you every step of the way as i did god it hard very hard when you know some one you love is going away for months on end you just hope and pray they come back to you safly great letter enjoyed it very muchbeginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 4, overall: 7, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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this was very good, is it based on a true story? cause i know how this feels, my best friend is in tha marines and in iraq right now...very, very good story. great job
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 5, overall: 7, ending: 4, dialog: 5, characters: 2.
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Well Done!
This is a compelling read - well wrritten and nicely laid out. Good work. Keep writing - I look forward to reading more.beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 2, overall: 7, ending: 3, dialog: 2, characters: 2.
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wow
its really good maybe its just me but i almost cried kinda sappy huh? such emotion such deliverance wow babe thats all i got to saybeginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, overall: 10, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Aw, that is so sweet and so sad and moving. It must be so very hard to deal with being separated from someone you love for so long and having to say goodbye. A very emotional read.
overall: 7.
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Wow
That's just so heart wrenching. I'm glad my boyfriend isn't in the armed forces. I think I'd break down A LOT worse if he ever left for something like that. *Shakes head* Kudos to you for being strong. -
brilliant
wow this was awesome I really liked it! You should keep this up as you have a raw talent here! good stuff!!
Sarah xxxbeginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, overall: 7, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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im actually crying because of this ive been throught this exact thing ...it just makes me hate this stupid war and crap even more love britt
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, overall: 7, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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OH MY GOD WOW, THIS IS SO SAD, IT WOULD ABSOLUTELY KILL ME TO BE IN YOUR SITUATION, I WILL QUALIFY YOU FOR ROUND TWO WITH A SHOT AT THE PRIZES BECAUSE I COULDN'T TEAR MY EYES AVAY FROM THE PAGE AND I LOVE THAT ABOUT A STORY, I ALSO LOVE THE VOCAB YOU HAVE USED IT SHOWS HOW YOU FEEL, A GREAT WRITE, CONGRADULATIONS AND THE BEST OF LUCK!
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