Twas a moon lit night,.1
The sun shined down on a closed a night blooming sirrus.2
As the night brighten the blossomed opened..3
A small faerie crept from the blossom careful not to go far for fear to not make it before night would fall4
Her face shined of moon lit glitter 5
Her hair the color of black roses.6
She seemed to listen to the night.7
Feel the wind flicker .8
Though she could not fly through the daze. She tried to fly but her wings collapsed and she felt as she began to change into a marvelous butterfly. She lived happily for ever on.9
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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*smiles*
Such a soothing piece
. I loved how her fate (the fairy's) was different from the other's. Beautifully written ^^.
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Strange. Random. but very effective. I like the old spelling of fairy and the images created. very good
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 2, ending: 3, characters: 2.
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This is a good draft, the flow isn't perfect.. but most poems aren't. lol.
Also, there is no such thing as a Black Rose.. so it might be better to use something else as your detail there. Unless in this fairies world roses can be black. : ) In which case that's cool!! ha ha.
Nice presentation, work on the wording and you'll have a gold piece poem on your hands. : )
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 3, dialog: 4, characters: 3.
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