Chapter 1 1
There was a story about a single father, Lewis, and he has 2 children. Lindsay was the 11 year old daughter, and Derek was the 3 year old son. The kid’s mom disappeared while they were sleeping, and they have never seen her since. She has spoke to Lewis on the computer by mail and she told him that she wants a divorce. 2
When Lindsay got up she went downstairs to make breakfast for Derek, Lewis, and herself. Luckily, Lewis and Derek woke up when breakfast was almost done. When Derek and Lewis went downstairs Lindsay served breakfast. She had made chocolate pancakes with a choice of milk or orange juice. Derek got milk, Lewis got orange juice, and Lindsay got orange juice.3
Lindsay was waiting for her friend, Linda, to arrive. Linda and Lindsay plan to go to the mall. So finally Linda arrived. So then Lewis got Derek and the he put him in the car. Linda and Lindsay got in the back with Derek. Lewis stopped by Derek’s daycare center. Then Lewis dropped Lindsay and Linda off in front of JCPenny’s. 4
The shopping spree has just begun. It was funny because Lindsay and Linda were over the phone last night planning which stores to go to. They planned to stay there for 3 hours. Lewis was going to meet Lindsay and Linda at the food court. Lindsay and Linda were beat! They went to the food court to get something to eat. Finally, Lewis came to the food court.5
Lindsay asked Lewis if Linda could sleep over and he said yes. Lewis went by Derek’s daycare center to pick Derek up. Derek was fast asleep when Lewis picked Derek up from the daycare center. 6
Today was June 3rd! There was only one more day of school left. Lindsay was excited to go to the pool! Lindsay and Linda got ready for bed on a warm Sunday night.7
It was 6:30! Lindsay and Linda got up and instantly got dressed. Lindsay couldn’t make breakfast because she didn’t have enough time. All of a sudden when Linda and Lindsay were ready the bus arrived. Luckily, they didn’t miss the bus. 8
Lindsay and Linda arrived at school. They realized it was the last day of school. They were so excited! Then Lindsay saw a paper with “Summer Classes” on the very top of the paper. Lindsay signed up for a class but wasn’t paying much attention and signed up for something maybe she didn’t want to do. Anyway, it was done with the 6th Grade semester. 9
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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This is a good start, the beginning needs a little polishing. It lacks a little flow, read it over and over and see what you would like or think needs changed. If you like it the way it is, then leave it, but if you feel something needs changed follow your instincts.
I loved this, keep writing!!

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very creative.
You have a great mind when it comes
to story writing and poems

