When I look around,1
At everything I see2
One thing that is apparent3
Is how lucky one can be4
My family supports me 5
In everything I do6
If ever I should falter,7
They lead me straight and true8
A value system helps,9
If ever they aren't there10
But it's created through them11
And shows what we do share12
If ever I should need them, 13
They're always there for me14
A constant inspiration15
Of what my life can be!16
When I make bad choices17
A lot of it is lead18
By a desire for *things*,19
Not love or faith, instead.20
I let my greed thus guide me21
Leading me to wrong,22
And when I am beside myself23
I see that what I long24
For is not the best for me25
No fulfillment can I gain26
When seeking satisfaction27
And possessions to attain28
So from this what I've learned,29
Is that my life's a dear obsession30
And my family's there with me,31
They're my most prized possession.32
-H-33
Author notes
Word count: 165. My age is 17.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
I like this.
The message was clear anda sincere one, and I can definitely relate.
Family is important, isn't it? You did a good job. Keep writing!
-
i was verry pleased with this chapter i liked it loads well done
-
Amazing !
I really loved this! It conveys a wonderful message and it really felt sincere. You are indeed lucky, my family does not support me, unfortunately. Your last line was very powerful:They're my most prized possession.32
and was of course, my favorite, Very nice ending ^^. -
I liked this alot. very uplifting and pleasing. thank you
beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 4.
-
Oh yeah, reread the rules.
-
Very true.
You told me family is inspirational, but you showed that they are motivating. Inspiration and Motivation can be alike, but they are also different. Anyway, this was a good poem you wrote here, fluent, etc... good job. I would change the colors, because blue is... well... blue! Whenever I see the color blue I think of rain, or teardrops, or depression. I think good inspirational colors are red, pink, white, and yellow.
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
