you

You.1

Four packages of Top Ramen, Tampax, Advil, Midol, four frozen dinners...2

What private wars are waged between your kitchen and your bathroom? I see an arsenal for both sides: the She who would lose weight against the She who asks "Why?" and "So, what?- the She whose desires are fed too much, even while they're hardly fed at all. "It's your own fault," the first accuses; "two tons were never tons of love." But the other cries, "If I were loved I would not need to eat."3

I am ugly. I have no friends. No one loves me.4

You.5

Behind the fake smile, baggy sad eyes, an emotional mess is crying inside- a heart burdened to be loved. A child is somehow trapped inside an eighteen year old's body.6

I pass by. "Hello." And then I genuinely ask, "How are you?" 7

Shock hits your face. Your pupils widen. Your shoulders tense up and is rigid as a board. That frightens me. Your eyes cut like swords. I'm afraid you'll erupt. "How are you?" seemingly means to you "What are you?" 8

You.9

Inside, you cling to the very emptiness which you despise. You are hungry. You are lonely. 10

A snake of an arm serpentines so suddenly and slaps me. Your nostrils flare up in contempt. Your flipflops flop angrily away from me as you give me the cold silent treatment and snatch your groceries against your breasts. Your cool demeanor seems to freeze the sleet outside.11

I love you. How are you? asks God. 12

You.13

To be loved of God is to be lovely indeed.14