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It was a pale, cold, summer morning as I awoke in my bedroom. I got up and slipped on a peasant skirt, walking wistfully down the hall. I felt like a ghost, floating toward the front door with my long wispy blonde hair flowing everywhere. My parents were still asleep as I went out the front door into the cool morning. I walked in the grass and let it’s dew wet my feet as I thought about everything that had happened lately. My friend was on the verge of a breakdown, and my mother kicked my dad out of the house. On top of everything, my own life was hanging by a thread thinner than a baby’s hair. 3
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Lately I had been slipping in my grades and I had stopped eating, taking no interest in food. How could I eat when I was so worried about my friend? It just doesn’t work that way. My mom was constantly on my rear about nutrition and health and all that bull crap I used to stress so much. Why should nutrition matter if you’re not eating? I hadn’t eaten in 2 days, and I wasn’t hungry at all. My bitterness and rage swirled in my stomach like a virus, armed and attacking.5
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“Jaysa? What are you doing out here so early hun? It’s Saturday, you know.” My mom sat down and ran her hand through my hair. I loved my mom so much, but she didn’t help anything when she kicked my dad out of the house.7
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“I just wasn’t tired mom. I’ll be ok. It’s just that...well, it’s such a beautiful morning and I had to come outside. I’ve been confined in a cage for so long.” My mom knew nothing of what was going on with my friend Jean. 9
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“Ok. Why don’t you call Cay our Jean to go on a bike ride today?” I think the last thing Jean needed was a bike ride. Maybe some bandages and anti-depressants would be more suitable. I slapped myself mentally. I shouldn’t be saying these things. Jean suffered from a post-traumatic something something. I’m not exactly sure what it is, but something very traumatic and terrible happened to her and caused her a great deal of depression and anxiety.11
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“I don’t know about Jean, I think she’s got other plans. Maybe Cay. I think I’ll have something to eat though, I’m not too hungry but I should eat something.” My mom didn’t know anything about me not eating either.13
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The thing with my mother is that you can’t tell her too much about what goes on in your personal life. If you do, it could be disastrous. She’s not the kind of person that would go and tell the friend’s mom or anything, but she would console you to the point of sickening. Sometimes these things require you to be on your own, with no outside help. But sometimes you sink so far in all you can do is reach out and hope a hand pulls you through before you drown. That’s when mom worked the best. She was the perfect person to go to when you were on the verge of evaporating into a fine line of dust and sorrow. 15
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“Don’t be too long outside, you should try to get a bath before your father has to leave.” Oh yeah. Dad’s leaving. After mom kicked dad out of the house, she noticed that I was really sad. Therefore she decided that he could come and visit every weekend and on holidays. This made me happy, and I think it was re-weaving the relationship they had established ever so long ago. 17
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This weekend he even kissed her when he came through the door. That was a major shock. I was so happy I almost fainted, and was dancing around the rest of the day. 19
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I didn’t want to go inside, it was such a beautiful feeling, to be outside, sitting in the dew covered grass, with the clouds covering the sky so it looked like a pale seashore morning. I sat for a long while, thinking about how I was going to make it through this beautiful world without tripping and falling flat in a lightning sand pit. I thought that if I don’t tell my mom, it will be too late, and that hand that I have grasped so many times in the past, just as I was going under, just as my eyes were being filled with the sand that scratched my tearful eyes, would not be there.21
Author notes
This is too my friend, NS, noting that there is a good outcome waiting to appear in every story, it just depends on what the charecters choose to do.
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Comments
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Excellent
Holly I love this story. It is soooo good. Thank you for this. I can't wait to read the rest!
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