Sharon and the Philosopher's Stone

1

Chapter 12

The Girl Who Lived3

Sharon ran into her mom and dad's room. They were both under the covers.4

"Mom, Dad, I am officially going to a new school!" Sharon said very confidently. Her parents were speechless. 5

"I knew you would like the idea!" Sharon said, jumping up and down. "The name of the school is Hogswarts. I found out by some kids flying on broomsticks at the dance night!" she waited for them to answer. Finally her Dad spoke. 6

"Kids flying on broomsticks? Ha! That's silly. Now will you leave us alone? We want to have privacy at least once in our lives!" He said with an angry face.7

"Oh, but you did have lots of privacy when you decided to have ME!" Sharon said. Sharon's mother looked nervous. "Well....you see.....Sharon.....we....ummmmm.....well...." Her mother's words trailed off. 8

"You what?" Sharon asked. 9

"We didn't exactly have....you...." Sharon's mother said with great regret. 10

"What do you mean you didn't exactly have me? How can you not exactly have me?" Sharon asked, confused. 11

"Well, ummmm, we adopted you.......we....found you...........on the street........after you were disposed of by a scrawny mountain creature." said Sharon's mother.12

Her father was shocked. He hadn't really known about this. They had gotten together after Sharon's mom had found her. 13

"So that means you're not my real parents? You've been faking it all along! I'm very ashamed. And that means, that I am now independent. And you can't stop me if I want to go to another school!" Sharon stormed out of the room and slammed the door. She could hear her parents arguing in their room. She didn't care though, she just wanted to leave. She ran to her room to pack. She would bring her most treasured things. She pulled out her old trunk that her grandmother had sent her just in case she wanted to run away. 14

She opened her stuffed drawer. It was full of her old old things that Sho had given her. There were toy beans, red balloons, acorns, and the first songs that he made. 15

Hmmmmmm...nothing I want from here. Sharon thought as she closed the drawer. 16

She opened another one. It had even older things that Gollum had given her. Things like, fish bones, rocks, old water in an old baby bottle, and old leaves with little songs that Gollum had made, written down. 17

Old memories must be forgotten! Sharon closed that drawer too, and opened another one. That one had not-so-old things that Anny had given and made for her. There were hand-made pajamas, love letters, hand-made pillows, a leaf from the tree they used to play in, and all the songs he wrote while they were together. 18

Now these memories definitely must be forgotten! She slammed that drawer shut, and took the carpet off the floor. She opened a little door in the floor. In the door there were all her clothes that she had hid from her mother because she didn't want her to wash them. Because whenever she gave clothes to her mother to wash, they would never be returned. She pulled all the clothes out and stuffed them into her trunk. She also stuffed her pillow, and her Cinderella sound track into the trunk.19

I am finally going to Hogswarts! she thought happily as she jumped out the window, forgetting that the tree wasn't there anymore. 20

"OUCH!" Sharon screamed as she hit the ground with a thump. She held back the tears that were coming rapidly, and ran to Katherine's house. 21

Chapter 222

Sharon Tells Katherine....Not!23

"Knock knock!" Sharon shouted. Nothing happend. "KNOCK KNOCK!" Sharon screamed.24

Sharon was about to knock again but was too much in a hurry, she had to get to Hogwarts before it was too late.25

She tugged at her neat braids in frusteration, she was now at the train station, but she couldn't find Station 9 3/4!26

She paced the platform angrily, then she looked up and to her terror she saw Pigly-boo and Anny arguing by a nearby pole.27

"What are you two idiots doing here?" Sharon demanded, throwing her trunk to the floor and tugging her braids again.28

"Don't do that, Sharon! The bobbles will get pulled off!" Anny said warmly.29

"Stupid! These are not bobbles!" Sharon slapped Anny to show how dumb he was, but then she realized he was right. "Why, of course they're bobbles! Why would I wear gross ribbons to ruin my hair!" she said as her eyes buldged for no good reason.30

Right then, Timmy and his parents aproached the arguing children.31

"Aren't you kids so proud of our adorable Timmy?" Timmy's mom said, tapping Sharon on the head.32

Pigly-boo and Anny nodded.33

Sharon wrinkled her nose and her forehead.34

"Why should I be proud of that little brat?"35

"Because," said Timmy's mother, "He is our first child to go to Hog Arts!" she said knowingly.36

Pigly-boo and Anny smiled cheerfully. "Is it an art school?" they asked.37

But Sharon knew what Timmy's mom was talking about.38

"N....n....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"39

Her scream of denial was so loud, that it threw Pigly, Anny and Timmy into the nearby barrier, and they vanished.40

"B.... B...but where did our Timmy go?" stuttered Timmy’s parents.41

Sharon laughed heartily. "Well too bad for them!"42

"I know where they went!" said Timmy's dad at length. "They're on the train, and are being taken to Hog Arts!"43

Sharon marveled at his intelligence, and for a split second she wished she was his daughter, but prison memories erased that wish from her head.44

"I knew that!" she scoffed and turned to the pole.45

"I have no money for my school fee!" she cried as she finaly realized her latest problem.46

"Why did those brainless silly boys go and I not!" she said as if it were the most unfair thing in the world, wich for her it was.47

"We will pay for your school fee if you promise to look out for our Timmy and not hurt or let him be hurt!" said Timmy's mom.48

Sharon promised with nine hand spitshakes.49

She breathed contentedly with satisfaction as she picked up her trunk and rammed into the barrier.50

"AAHHHHHHHHH!" she screamed as she appeared in the Hogwarts train and in the way of a running red head.51

"Wicked!" the red haired boy said, shocked and glued to his tracks.52

"I know all of you other silly minors are used to going to Diagnally or the train station first, but I, most powerful Fairy Godmother, appear in the Hogwarty train!"53

The carrot boy did not seem to comprehend but dashed into one of the compartments where sat a boy with big round glasses, the type Sharon now wore as a new style.54

She was about to follow the red head inside his compartment when a small girl with a ridiculously gross hairdo pushed her away and ran into the redhead's compartment.55

Sharon peeked in, the messy girl was showing off to the two boys.56

"Cleaning glasses! She’s ever like my mother! Always cleaning!" Sharon scournfully and angrily sighed as she walked into an empty compartment.57

"I'm lonely!" she anounced as seconds passed.58

No one replied so she took out her portable CD player and turned on her Cinderella soundtrack on full blast.59

"Mageekabully bebadee babadee booo ooohooo!!" the wonderful music blared.60

A blonde, rich looking boy stuck his head in to see who had put on the music.61

"Why, you look like a brat!" said Sharon crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes, she reached for her pencil wand.62

"No! I'm Draco Malfoy! You know my song?" he asked, his tone and manner was evidence enough; he was a brat.63

"Oh well!" Sharon sighed.64

"You'll bring honor to a malfoy!! It starts off:65

We'll have you 66

Cooked and fried, 67

Drenched and demolished68

Till you're burnt and wide!69

This is my recipe70

To make you die.71

You'll bring honor to a Malfoy! 72

73

A wizard can bring his family74

Great honor in one day!75

By showing that he's fat!76

And that he can eat a rat!77

Dumbles wants wizards78

With good waste!79

Brown, smelly and like toothpaste!80

With good toilets and poop in haste!81

You’ll bring honor to a Malfooooooooy!"82

83

Draco ended loudly, now Sharon's blaring Cinderella music sounded like a mouses squeek.84

"That was wonderful!" Sharon clapped wildly as her CD ended.85

"Can you make a song for me?" Sharon asked, Now I have a new boyfriend! She thought.86

"No." he said coolly as he walked proudly out of the room to Sharon's dismay. He went to Anny's compartment, where Anny sat alone. She soon heard Draco singing the same song once again.87

After a few minutes she could hear Anny clapping loudly. 88

Why, that Draco rat sang longer for Anny! she grouchily growled.89

But soon the train ride ended, and Sharon, dressed in her new, blue handmade robe, stepped out of the train majestically and all were thrown into a nearby boat.90

Chapter 391

The Housing Hat92

"Is that Hogwarts?" Sharon said in disgust as she saw the haunted looking, huge castle up ahead.93

"Of course it is, you muggly mud-filled mud-blooded muggle of mugger!" said Draco impolitely but professionally.94

Sharon was seriously considering slapping the little boy into the dark looking water but she saw that he was bigger then her.95

"Oh well!" She sighed.96

Soon they were pulled out of the boats, and were dragged up some steps.97

Sharon noticed that on each step there was no pasted gum like the school she was used to going to. There were no crayon drawings of her, and there were no scibblings on the walls.98

"How terrorfyingly boring!" she said as if to everybody around her.99

The carrotboy looked shamefully at her.100

But Draco's eyes widened with joy as if he had just found a reason to throw Sharon into the trash.101

"Why didn't I see it before? Pink bobbles, pencil wand...you must be a relative of Smeagle! My father told me of him! He is wretched poor and has more children then he can offord!"102

"He does not!" Sharon yelled, all of the children stopped in the midst of the steps to hear their argument.103

"Cute Golly only has one! Precious Shelly!" Sharon said adoringly, but then she remembered that Shellum was the cause of herself being kicked out of the cave, then she also remembered that she hated Golly! "Say what you wish! I care not!" Sharon said with queenliness as she ran up the steps in the lead.104

She heard Draco go up to the round glasses boy and say something silly.105

"I will have no problem becoming popular here!" Sharon laughed as they were thrown into a great hall with hundreds of other older children.106

She quickly changed her mind as she saw that they were all older then her and looked more powerful then her braids could ever make her look.107

She started to sob but was then thrown onto a chair in front of all of those children.108

"This chair is too big for me!" she said about to jump off, but a huge, flea and lice ridden hat was stuffed onto her head.109

She sniffed the fabric and felt its texture.110

"Why this is the same material Golly uses as his loincloth!" she laughed, then gasped as she tried to wiggle away.111

"Stay still you little vermin!" said the hat, trying to keep its rump fixed to Sharon's head.112

"If you fart, I'll sew you into underwear!" Sharon threatened.113

The hat agreed.114

"Hufflepuff!" it anounced hurriedly.115

Sharon's eyes glistened with delight. She had heard that Hufflepuff was the most advanced and powerful house!116

Anny was next to be thrown onto the chair.117

"Let me go! I'll tell my mommy!" he said in sobs, as the hat was pushed down onto his head, it went all the way down to his neck.118

Everyone laughed.119

But as always, cute little Anny had a way with old female teachers.120

"Oh I feel my heart break for the poor little wizard!" purred Minerva Mcgonagle.121

She gently pulled the hat a bit above Anny’s neck.122

"Gryffindor!" the hat said as it farted.123

"Uh!" Anny gasped, Mcgonagle quickly removed the hat.124

The hat was spanked and a thread was removed from it as a punishment.125

Then it was Timmy's turn.126

But Timmy's head was too big and the hat ripped when it was pulled over Timmy's head.127

Minerva Mcgonagle was a sly one though, and she quickly drew a face on her hat and put it right above Timmy's head and used her vintrolaquist skills and said:128

"Slytherine!"129

Next was Pigly-Boo's turn. The hat had been repaired.130

Pigly boo snorted wildly, as he could not contain his excitement. His little sister Pigly-Loo jumped up and down too. She had stow-awayed in his suitcase.131

"Pigerain Puffdor!" the hat said.132

"Huh?" all mouths said in unision.133

"The new house for swine!" the hat laughed lowly.134

There was not a question uttered as the two pigs were escorted to the unused at the moment, girl’s bathroom.135

Sharon sat dreamily at her Hufflepuff table with all of her wide-eyed Hufflepuff friends.136

"Do you know that I am popular?" she asked an oily haired girl sitting next to her. 137

"No, but I am." the girl answered.138

"How so?" asked Sharon, a little jealously.139

"I am Snape's sister." said the girl, and poked a sausage with her fork.140

"Who's Snake?" asked Sharon.141

"I think he's a teacher. You might be able to see him over at the staff table." she pointed to a table at the far end of the room where the elder ones sat. 142

Sharon squinted at it and saw a man with black, long, oily hair, sitting there.143

"He does look like you. But is he really a real snake?" she asked.144

"I don't know." said Snape's sister. 145

"Well, my name is Sharon. I'm very popular here, you know." she said proudly. "What's your name?" she asked Snape's sister.146

"I can't really remember, but it rhymes with Snape." answered Snape's sister.147

"This is perfect." Sharon said. "You're popular and so am I! We can be best friends!" she said happily, jumping in her seat.148

"What a good idea!" said Snape's sister.149

In the mean time, Anny was engrossed in his boast of his popularity and his keen mind.150

"Look at this!" he said proudly, as he made Harry's half bitten sausage hover in the air and land in his own plate. He cut it in half and made it go back into Harry's plate.151

"Wicked!" Ron, the carrot boy, gasped in unbelieving amazement.152

"Why, you will be greater than Dumbles!" said Hermione who was already thoroughly attracted to Anny.153

"Your the first kid I saw who could do that without a wand!" said Ron still mouth agape.154

Soon, Anny was the leader of the whole Griffindor house, even the elder ones.155

Timmy sat angrily in his seat. He had never ever been served sauseges and meatballs for dinner. He was used to cookies, icecream, and cake.156

"I won't eat it!" he said. He looked at the boy next to him, he heard someone call him Crap or something.157

"Crap! Can you eat this crap?" Timmy asked but without waiting for an answer dumped all of his food into his plate.158

Crabbe joyfully ate the sausages.159

Timmy smiled. "When are the classes going to begin?" he asked impatiently while everyone was still eating.160

Draco bonked Timmy on the head. Everyone else's fists followed.161

"Lets see, brainless, largehead you must be a...Uh..."Draco silently thought about it.162

Timmy pulled a sausage from Draco’s plate with a quick spell.163

The sausage was shot down Draco’s robes and into his underwear.164

It was a long night as the children squabbled over every little thing, but soon they all fell asleep in their Houses.165

The next morning…166

Chapter 4167

Their First Day In Hogwarts168

"Did you hear about that cute little boy in Gryffindor?" asked Snape's sister, waking Sharon up hurriedly.169

"Let me sleep!" Sharon groaned, as she pushed the girl away.170

But Sharon couldn't sleep anymore, and she wanted to know who this new cute boy was.171

"Whats your name anyway?" Sharon said to the pale-faced, oily, knotty, black haired girl.172

"It rhymes with Snape, just like I told you!" 173

Sharon angrily dressed into her robe.174

"So who's the cute boy?" she asked as they both wobbled down the stairs with the other Hufflepoofs.175

"Anny, the Jedi! From Sho and Marina Town! The most promising boy to set foot in Hogwarts!" 176

Sharon’s outburst lossed Hufflepuff 100 points.177

After breakfast their first class began.178

"I....a....am.......a....am...........p...p...p...p...p...p...p...pro....profess.....professor..."179

"Stutter butter!" Sharon laughed loudly with several snorts. Pigly-Boo and Pigly-Loo agreed with there laughing snorts.180

"Don't tease him!" said Harry, bonking Sharon's head with Ron's rat.181

"…P.... Pro..Proffesor...Professor Quuurrr..."182

"Alright Professor Queer! Please stop being silly and teach us the class!" Sharon said stomping her feet.183

"T....this.....t...this....c...c.c...c…cc…c.c.c....class.....is....abo.... about.....a.....about......"184

Eventually the class was canceled for the students couldn't understand what Proffesor Quirrel was saying. And so, they took broom-flying lessons.185

"Put your hands over your broom and say up!" said their white-haired teacher.186

"UPUPUPUPUPUPUPUPUPUPUPUPUPUP!" Sharon rapidly said, but her four-inch broom didn't budge.187

Anny's broom was up first and he was warmly aplauded by all of the children.188

Soon Harry, Draco and Ronny had theirs up.189

Sharon and Hermionini were the last.190

"UPUPUPPUUPUPUPUPPUUPUPPUPUUPUPUPUPUP!" they both desperately pleaded to their brooms.191

Finally, Hermionini's broom shot up and knocked her out.192

Sharon laughed but soon sobbed, for her broom didn't go up. When the seconds became hours the broom finally went into Sharon's nose.193

But the class was over and Sharon was lead to a different class.194

"Oh, its McDonalds Minnymouse!" exclaimed Sharon as she saw the teacher.195

"Why are you late?" 196

Sharon was about to reply, but Mcgonagle was talking to Ron and Harry.197

Sharon heard something about McDonalds turning one of them into a clock.198

"Oh I can do that!" she interupted. "I'm well known as the Fairy Godmother in Cinderella and I can turn rags to dresses and pumpkins to coaches!"199

She waved her pencil about.200

"Facinating! Can you turn my hat into a crown?" asked Professor Mcgonagle.201

"No..." Sharon replied blankly.202

"THEN SIT DOWN!" 203

Sharon walked to her desk. She turned to face Mcgonagle one more time. "Your just like Miss Dorfas!" she yelled uncontrollably.204

"You know her?" asked Mcgonagle, astonishment written all over her wrinkled face. "Why she is here right now! Helper of Filch and some say she is his mistress!"205

Sharon laughed at that idea.206

"What! She's here?" Sharon’s heart stopped beating, how horrible could this be!207

"And she has told me of your professional skills at making ba..."208

Sharon slammed her rump to the seat to drown out Mcgonagle's proclaim.209

"Well let’s begin! I will teach you how to transform money to mice! A useful spell, as is turning gold to mold!" she said in her normal, low, old lady voice.210

Timmy raised his hands.211

"No questions mister Timmy!" said Mcgonagle sternly.212

"But I was only streaching!" complained Timmy. 213

"Why, you’re using my joke!" said Anny, everyone agreed.214

"Silence class!"215

"But I'm hungry!" said Timmy who hadn't eaten the whole day.216

"Ten points away from Slytherine!" said Mcgonagle justly.217

"And eighty points for Gryffindor!" she winked at Anny.218

All of the Grynffindors cheered.219

"Now, we shall begin." said McGonagall as she pulled out her wand, and accidently dropped it. Embarrassed, she hurriedly picked it up. "First, you start by tapping your wand onto the coin three times, and say "Fermentationo!" Mcgonagal said. "Skywalker, would you like to demonstrate?" She asked. 220

"Uh, oh, sure..." Anny replied. He wasn't paying much attention to the class. 221

"Now remember, 1,2,3, 'fermentationo'. Reminded Mcgonagall. Anny smacked his wand to the coin once. It fell off his desk, and rolled over to Sharon's seat. 222

"Ha! The popular one couldn't even do a simple spell!" Said Sharon, as she picked up the coin. "I'll show you how it's done!" she said. "Shalaka boo jimagicka boo, la bibbidy babbidy boo...!" Sharon sung, as she danced around her desk, waving her wand in the air vigorously. Everyone was staring. Nothing happened. Soon Sharon got tired and plopped down on her chair. "I don't understand! It's supposed to work!" Sharon said, disappointed. 223

Professer Mcgonagall was stunned. She had never, in her entire life, seen a student dance around so ferociously during a class. 224

The class continued with little progress. Soon it was lunchtime. The children grabbed their things and ran out of the classroom before professor Mcgonagall could say anything more. 225

"Its no wonder she has no boyfriends!" said the carrot head, Ron to Harry after there next class.226

Right then Hermioni, who knew Ron was talking about her, ran passed him while pushing him away.227

"I think she heard you!" said Harry throwing Ron a disgraceful look and jabbing him in the nose.228

Chapter 5229

Troll In the Swine House230

It was now dinner time. The children had done so horribly in their first few classes that day, that they had been punished and went the whole day without lunch. Instead, they had to help Hagrid clean his house. Then, they had to help Miss Dorfas and Filch clean the school.231

"Why, where is the cute, Hermiobipi?"Asked Anny sadly, glancing about and seeing no sight of her.232

"I heard she went crying to the Swine house! The Pigly's are very good at comforting! I heard!" said Ron as he gobbled down a sausage.233

"Sausages again!" Timmy spat furiously as the sausages were served.234

"How did you ever get here so young?" Draco Malfoy said belittlingly.235

"I was approved by Dumbles to be highly experienced with magic! He sent me a letter! And when I pulled a bunny from my hat one day, my parents couldn't resist but send me here!" said Timmy proudly.236

Draco’s mouth dropped, as did his ego. Soon Timmy was one of the most respected Slytherine students.237

"Hey! Pigly-boo! Can I go to your Pigronin house tonight? I need to see my mom!" said Snapes daugher. The Pigly's had been forced to eat with the Hufflepuffs because they were of an alike mind or so Dumbles declaired.238

"Snort! Its Pigerain Puffdor! SNORT!!SNORT!!" said Pigly-boo.239

"And you are not my child" said a low deadly voice.240

Sharon shivered and peered behind her.241

Her eyes brightened and laughed, "I hate old men!" 242

Snape's pale face seemed not to care.243

"Remember that, my sister" he said as he tapped his wand on his younger sister’s head.244

"Ouch!" three warts with a frog sized bump appeared on her head.245

Anny was about to make Harry's sausage go to his plate to cut it but in flash of a second a door was slammed open and Proffesor Quirrel huffed and puffed and was obviously out of breath.246

"NOT YOU AGAIN!" every single child in the dining hall chorused disapointingly.... except Harry.247

"Don't say that! He’s like a father to me!" said Harry as he ran to Proffesor Quirrell to comfort him.248

Quirrell annoyingly pushed Harry aside and yelled, "Troll in the Swine house!!" The Piglys snorted like a scream.249

"Hermioni!" cried Anny.250

"Hurmonipi!" shouted Harry.251

"Hirmenoniti!" yelled Ron in disgust.252

The three of them ran to the Swine house.253

"Whoever that is!" Timmy giggled as he picked up his sausage looking for a honorable target.254

"She's a silly Granger Ranger with big hair and she's even a muger of a filthy wicked blood of snotty mud! Worse than the Pigly's, you might say!" Draco said in his snotty British accent.255

"Everyone run to your houses." said Snape, not sounding concerned.256

"And stop those three boys!" said Mcgonagall, but then she remembered that one of them was Anny and she didn't have the heart to stop him.257

The three robe wearing boys piled into the Swine house.258

"Why, this is a latrine!" Anny said, astonished.259

Their ears finally took note to the mountain troll who was breaking all of the newly decorated sinks and cubicles.260

Anny thought of how Pigly-boo would cry seeing his snout pictures and mud scented wands being broken and torn off the walls.261

"EEEEK!" Hermonini's scream of horror rang in there ears.262

"Wingardiam Leviousa!" said Ron, but it only made Hermionini shoot up and get her head stuck in the ceiling that was soggy from the vapor of the toilets contents. Recently used by the Pigly's.263

"Ron!" Anny said harshly as he used the force to make the troll do a little dance. "I can control people who are week in mind!" he said proudly.264

But as the Troll's dance continued, they soon realized that it was unbearably disgusting and must be stopped.265

But before Anny could make the Troll stop, the Troll decided it wanted a partner in its dance and picked up Harry and pulled him up his back.266

Harry, with all the strength left in him, shoved his want up the Troll's nose. Hermininoni was still screaming.267

Ron ran up to the Troll and pulled down his blanket-sized loincloth.268

"I was needing a peice of cloth to make clothes for a dear house-elf friend, Dobby!!" said Ron adoringly at the brown cloth.269

The Troll was very embarrased and stoped its dance.270

Hermionini, finally fell off of the ceiling and onto his head. Her butt's weight knocked the senses out of him.271

The teachers came storming in at that very moment.272

Dumbles was about to say something but was cut short by Mcgonagall.273

"Very good! Eighty points for Gryffindor! And Slytherine shall lose ten!"274

"Slytherine was not involved" said Snape.275

"Oh, right!" Mcgonagall sighed as she walked away with the other teachers.276

Ron snickered and looked at Hermionini.277

"Wicked!" he said as he saw that she had fallen asleep ontop of the Trolls head.278

Harry started to cry. "She's dead!" 279

"No she's not!" said Ron.280

Then all of the three boys looked slyly and knowingly at each other.281

They would make a waking potion!282

But Myrtle's annoying wail broke the happy atmosphere.283

"You only care about her! What of me?" 284

"Sulk with your daughter!" Ron sugested.285

Chapter 6286

Christmas...?287

Anny, Harry and Ron stole a pot from Filch that had the name, 'Mrs. Norris' on it.288

"The potion will be finished soon!" giggled Anny as he mixed the gross sauce.289

When it was ready and steaming hot they poured it down Hermonini's throat!290

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" she screamed like her usual self.291

"She's alive!" Anny smiled joyfully.292

"Very good! Fifty points for Gryffindor!" said Mcgonagall, who had been watching Anny's every move ever since he had arived at Hogwarts.293

Soon it was Christmas and Anny jumped excitedly as Harry opened his first Christmas present.294

"Oh! Its a jedi cape! It must be for me!" he exclaimed, taking the cape away from Harry and putting it on.295

"Wicked!" 296

"Shut up Ron!" said Harry, who was finally fed up with Ron's "Wicked!" 297

But Anny was as scared as a weasel, as he saw that his body was gone.298

"I've been cut in half!" he yelled.299

Right then Pigly-loo danced in.300

"Anny, my hero!" she bowed curteously. "EEEK! What happened to your body?"301

Harry sighed and ripped the cape away from Anny and they all went downstairs to play Wizard's Chess.302

"Barbaric!" said Hermioni as she saw Ron's queen being killed by Harry's pawn.303

"Well, your hair is just as uncivilized!" said Ron in return.304

Hermioni, as revenge, put mating spiders on Ron's head.305

"Merry Christmas!" she laughed, as Ron fainted.306

"I challenge you to a dual!" said Draco to Harry as he walked up to him.307

"Accepted!" said Harry.308

"Why are you wearing a hair band?" asked Timmy to Harry.309

"So all can see my scar ofcourse!"310

"Oh! There you are, my adorable children from my home town!" said Miss Dorfas, coming from nowhere with Filch not far from her.311

Sharon clenched her teeth and withdrew her wand for a self-defense attack.312

A black cat jumped onto Miss Dorfas' head.313

"Oh you must be Mrs. Norris' brother!" Miss Dorfas. She started to whack the cat's rump for ruining her hair.314

"Ouch!" the cat turned into Mcgonagall.315

"Ten points away from Miss Dorfas!" she said.316

Miss Dorfas went crying away to Filch who warmly wiped away her tears with Mrs. Noris' paw.317

Chapter 7318

Quidditch319

The next day was Quidditch. Oliver Wood was extremely hyper. 320

"Alright men! Today, we must give it our best! We must WIN!" He said. The Quidditch team was rolling their eyes and making a not-this-again look. Oliver walked over to Harry and Anny. "Harry! Don't let all the practise you did be wasted today! You must catch the snitch! Even if you die trying!" Oliver said. 321

Fred and George were standing behind Anny and Harry. 322

"So, there's no pressure Harry!" George said. 323

"Yeah, no pressure." Said Fred. They walked away laughing. Harry kept rolling his eyes. 324

"Why do you do that?" Anny asked. 325

"Do what?" Harry said. 326

"Roll your eyes like that. It makes you look...um well...I don't really know...." Anny said. 327

"Oh, it's an old habit from when I first started quiddich. I think it's tradition. Everyone does it whenever Oliver says something to us." Harry replied. 328

"Oh, I see." Anny said. Then they both went out flying on their broomsticks. 329

"Let the game begin!" Dumbledore said, using magic to make his voice sound louder. The game began. Broomsticks were flying everywhere. Anny saw two players sitting on their brooms, not even moving. One, he recognized as Harry. "What are you doing Harry? Aren't you playing?" Anny asked. 330

"I'm waiting for the snitch!" Harry replied. 331

"What's the snitch?" Anny asked. Just then, he felt something hit his head. He saw a golden ball with wings flying around his head. "You must be the snitch!" Anny squealed. It flew away. Where did it go? Anny thought. Then he remembered what he was supposed to do. Okay, where is the biggest brown ball? He thought. He saw it right after. He tried to get it away from one of the Slytherin boys, but no avail. Then, he remembered something. "THE FORCE!" He said. The ball popped out from under the boy's arm. The boy squealed. The ball flew towards Anny. He caught it and saw two Slytherin boys flying towards him. "EEEEKKKKK!" He screamed. Then, he guided the ball, using the force, towards the highest hoop. A bludger hit him. He did a flip backwards, holding onto his broom for dear life. When he was back to his senses, he saw that Slytherin had got the ball into Gryffindor's highest hoop. 332

"Wicked!" Ron shouted. He was watching the game, wide eyed. Hermionini bonked him on the head.333

"Shut up Ron!" She screamed. 334

"No, you shut up!" He said back. An argument started between them. Just then, they remembered what Harry had said about keeping an eye on Professer Snape. 335

"Look at him Ron! Doesn't he look so suspicious?" Hermionini said, as she pointed to Snape. He was patting his sister on the head, while staring at Quirrell. 336

At that moment, Harry's broom went haywire. 337

"Help me!" cried Harry as his broom moved uncontrolably between his legs.338

Anny saw Harry, but was too anxious to put the big brown ball in one of the hoops.339

He used the force to U-turn the ball as it almost went through one of Gryffindor's hoops.340

"Oh no you don't!" Anny said as he made the ball shoot for Slytherin's hoop.341

"Look!" said Hermiononi pointing at Snape again, he was powdering his face, perhaps to hide his blushing cheeks.342

"He's making Harry's broom go crazy and powdering his face to cover his guilt!" said Hermionini logically.343

"Let's make his white face black for all to see!" they agreed and slid underneith Snape's seat.344

They could swear he hadn't changed his underwear ever since Harry's dad showed them to everyone by turning Snape up-side-down.345

"Well that will make the fire burn better!" said Hermionini as she unleashed a spell that made Snape's rump immediately erupt into flames. They quickly ran off.346

"Your butt's on fire!" giggled Proffesor Quirell.347

Snapes oily hair started to drip and made the flames spread.348

"It must have been Draco!" said Hermiononi to Snape. She pointed at Draco who was many seats away.349

"Very good! Fifty points for Gryffindor!" said Mcgonagall, who was also many seats away and oblivious to what was actually happening.350

"And eighty points away from Slytherin!"351

Eventually, the Quiddich game was won by Gryffindor because Mcgonagall kept using spells to make Anny get the ball through the hoops.352

Draco was furious. Sharon laughed. 353

"Your stupid Slytherin team couldn't even win the Gross Gryffindors! Oh ho ho ho ho!!!" she laughed heartily. 354

"Here's a letter from your parents!" said Snape's sister as she shoved an envelope into Sharon's unwaiting hands.355

Sharon groaned angrily but tore it open.356

And it read:357

To our dear, undear ex-daughter Sharon,358

We hope you are having fun at your new school, but we have found out 359

by screaming, crying Katherine that you are an agent!360

We would like you to come back and work for us!361

Your pay will be two bags of flour and a room shared with our latest employees:362

Mister Dorfas and Principle Billy! Both are very depressed and heart broken.363

Mister Dorfas has been fired by Timmy's dad because, now that you're gone there is no one to arrest! Oh well, here we go blabbering again! I need to do my laundry!364

I'm so glad you're gone! Me and your loving ex-father have so much more privacy now!365

Chapter 8366

The Dark Forest367

"What a mean letter! It didn't even have a proper ending!"368

Sharon turned around to see that there was no one else in the room she was now in, she heard Harry walking passed her and to the library.369

"He's wearing his invisibility cloak!" she gasped as she spanked the invisible rump.370

"Ouch!" he yelped but continued on his trek.371

Sharon followed.372

She saw Old Man Snape assaulting Proffesor Queer in a most odd way.373

"To whom are your loyalties?" he shouted pinning Quirrell to the wall, Quirrell could only stutter an un-understandable reply.374

Sharon ran away from the two ugly old men. She saw....heard Harry opening a big book.375

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" she screamed, as did Harry. Out of the book came a huge face. It was Miss Dorfas' face. Filch had begged Dumbles to make it for him in honor of Dorfas Ross Mary.376

"Try this one silly!" said Sharon pulling a different book from the shelf.377

Harry did and it was exactly what he was looking for.378

But in his haste and excitement he dropped his lantern and it crashed to the floor. The two scared kids quickly ran away.379

But when they started their tumble down the stairs, they were caught by none other then Miss Dorfas.380

"Kids out at night? Are you planning to break this one's heart and black mail him too?" asked Miss Dorfas accusingly.381

"WHAT!" Sharon looked at Harry. "Not for the world!" 382

Harry nodded not knowing what else to do.383

"Well you two shall have to go with me to forest then!" said Filch as he aproached.384

Harry took off his cape and put it in his pocket.385

And there was Draco, right behind him, he had been hiding under Harry's cloak all along!386

"And you too!" said Miss Dorfas affectionately.387

Draco shivered.388

"Did I ever tell you two little boys of how I let Anny sit on my la..."389

"Only me now Ross!" said Filch.390

"Oh yes! of course Filchy!"391

"You fornicating old lady! You're married to Billy! ....Not that I care..." Sharon hissed.392

But enough was said, and all were lead away to the forest.393

"I'll take Fang!" said Draco, seeing Hagrid's furry dog.394

"And I'll take Hagrid!" said Sharon pulling the Giant's beard.395

Harry looked around, Miss Dorfas and Filch were his last choices.396

"Filch!" he quickly said.397

Miss Dorfas felt left out. But everyone quickly ran into the dark forest before she could say anything.398

Sharon sensed something, little did she know that it was the one she would one day claim as her fourth boyfriend!399

"EWW! I'm a Werewolf!" said Draco putting mushrooms on his head for ears and and bugs for fangs.400

Harry squeeled as if he were being attacked. Mr. Filch was terrorfied. He ran out of the forest, and back to Miss Dorfas. 401

"Stop yur playin' around, Malfoy. Yur suppose to be goin' thata way with Fang!" Hagrid said pointing straight at a large tree. "Now, see this here shaainy stuff? It's Unicorn blood. And our job, is to find the Unicorn that this blood came from." Hagrid continued, "Now, Harry, since Filch is gone, yu'll be goin' with Sharon." Harry dropped to the ground in disappointment. 402

"I wish Quirrell was here to be with me!" said Harry in dismay. 403

"An' Draco, it's too dangerous for you to be goin foolishly away so yur coom'n with me! Oh, an' if you get into any trouble, shoot out red sparkles from your wand, and if you find the Unicorn, shoot out green sparkles." 404

* * * 405

"Ross!" Filchy cried as he ran into Miss Dorfas' arms. "I'm scared! There's a werewolf in there!"406

Miss Dorfas nodded. 407

"I told you Filchy dear! I learned my lesson already. The last time I entered a forest, I was chased out by a wet dancing boy!" They both screamed in terror at the thought. 408

Meanwhile, Sharon and Harry were walking through the forest. They were both very frightened. Just then, a bird flew over their heads. Sharon screamed. And so did Harry. Their screams were muffled by a large hand covering both their mouths. They turned around and saw Hagrid standing there with Draco and Fang. 409

"If you two scream one more time, one of you will have to trade with Draco." They both nodded. Hagrid went away. 410

"What was that?" Sharon wondered aloud. 411

"It was a bird, silly!" Harry answered. 412

"Then why did you scream, silly?" Sharon said. 413

"Because you screamed! SILLY! Now stop calling me silly, and follow me!" Harry said. Frustrated. 414

"Why should I follow you? I'm the more powerful one here!" Said Sharon. Harry did a silencing spell on Sharon, and they both continued their search for the Unicorn. As they were walking, Sharon spotted something black, leaning over something glowing white. She tapped Harry on the shoulder, and started frantically doing a charade, and pointing towards the strange sight, hoping that Harry would guess what she was trying to say. All Harry saw was, Sharon falling down onto the floor, then getting onto her knees and leaning over, then she started doing a silly dance, which was similar to the one she did in class. Then Sharon stopped her dancing and threw her hands down in frustration. She pointed to her mouth. 415

"You want to eat something?" Harry asked. Sharon frantically put her finger to her mouth in the be-quiet way. Harry suddenly remembered the spell he did on Sharon. But he had forgotten how to take it off. 416

"I'm sorry, Sharon. I forgot how to take the spell off!" Harry said. Thinking that it was what Sharon wanted. But she just shook her head violently. And pointed in the direction of the strange scene. Harry looked, and he too saw the black thing leaning over the glowing white thing. 417

The black thingy stalked up to Harry.418

"Hello! My name is Harry Potter!" Harry said joyously.419

Sharon smelt a strong odor that she thought could be garlic and onions. It smelt so good!420

"Ah what kind of perfume do you wear? It's a hundred times better then Miss Dorfas'!"421

Harry held his hand out for the hooded, dark thing to shake. The creature didn't shake it.422

"Aww! The poor little thing! Harry, look what you did!" Sharon threw Harry yards away.423

Sharon bowed apologetically.424

"Sorry about him! he doesn't know how wonderful it is to have such nice perfume! Can I have some?"425

But before Sharon could think of what was happening, a big hairy centaur galloped up to her.426

"Uh! yuck! you smell like a dirty old horse!" Sharon rudely plugged her nose and tried to wave the odor away from her face.427

Sharon quickly took out her wand and started making red sparkles.428

The black, hooded creature squeeked and scampered off.429

"Wait! I didn't meen to scare you! Come back pleeaseee!!" Sharon wailed helplessly as he left, and so did his blessed smell.430

Sharon narrowed her eyes dangerously at the hairy centaur.431

"Go bug someone else!" she scolded.432

Right then Hagrid and Draco came running towards her.433

"Whats the danger?" asked Malfoy seeing Sharon scolding the centaur.434

"Him!" Sharon pointed to the hairy creature.435

Then Harry came running back with bruises on his precious head.436

"I lost my hairband! Now no one can see my cool scar!" Harry screamed as if he were dying.437

Hagrid was not too pleased with Sharon and so she had to carry the sulking Harry out of the forest because he refused to walk.438

When they came out of the forest, they saw Miss Dorfas and Mr. Filch trying to act like scary trolls. Loincloth and bonker were their only crude items.439

"ROAR! We are trolls! And you will be bonked!" they screamed.440

everybody but Sharon screamed and ran away.441

"They must have been the trolls that killed Nicholas Flammel!" exclaimed Hagrid as he ran for the shelter of his tiny house.442

Chapter 9443

Nicholas Flammel444

Harry scratched his head, "Who in Hogwarts' name was Nicotus Flamingo?"445

"It's probably Nelly Headless Nick!" said Anny wide eyed.446

Harry smiled brightly. "Thats it Anny! We have solved the mystery!"447

"But we must confirm it!" said Hermionopi, interupting. She grabbed the two boys by the colar and dragged them away.448

"There might be a book about him!" she said, throwing them into the shelves of books at the library.449

Right then, Filch came near.450

"I'll cover you two boys!" she said flirtily as she proudly walked towards the oncoming Filch.451

"Miss Dorfy is gone! So let's go on a little walk with Mrs. Snorris!" she said, pulling Filch's nose towards a door and leading him away.452

She grabbed Mrs. Norris. "Were going on a little walk!" she purred to the cat. Mrs. Norris jumped and ran away form Herminigi and jumped down the stairs and into several other rooms, one at a time, Filch ran after her desperately.453

Hermionipoo laughed as her quest had been victorious. Just then, Neville Longbottom walked up to them. He was holding a chocolate frog box, and eating the chocolate frog. "Oh, Neville! Can I have your card? I've been making a collection." Harry said, as he snached it away from Neville without waiting for a reply. The card had Dumbles' picture on it. Harry was overjoyed. "I always wanted a picture of my favorite Headmaster, Dumbles!" But then, the picture disappeared. Harry's face dropped. But where had Dumbles gone? Harry turned the card over. He saw the name Nicholas Flammel.454

"..uh...Nicholas Flammel and Dumbles made the Philosopher's Stone...." Harry read, shoving Longbottom away.455

"But what's the Philosopher's Stone?" Anny questioned.456

Harry thought for a moment.457

"I don't know!" he said exasperated. They left shortly, but they soon got lost, they entered a room that had a huge ugly dog with three heads.458

"Ew! It looks like some kind of---"459

"No it does not, Harry! There are plenty of those kind of creatures at the planet I come from! You might say I'm more at home around them!" Anny said, crawling towards the three headed dog.460

The dog growled and bit Anny's arm off.461

"AAAAAAH!" but Anny soon stoped screaming because he was a jedi and can shun pain.462

Anny bandaged his wound and stuck a metal arm on that he had been saving for a time like this.463

Hermionono barged into the room.464

The dog barked insanely.465

"LALALALALALALALALLALA!" Hermionini shouted just as insane.466

"Gee thats pretty! But I think Katherine's singing is a little better..." Anny began. "NO!" Hermononi argued. "I'm singing to lull the thing to sleep! That's what Hagrid told me!" she winked.467

"Oh!" they all started to sing.468

It fell asleep.469

"Well actually he told me to play music but I can't and I don't want to and it worked anyway!" Herminoni said.470

They saw now that there was a big hole in the ground and a plank near by. The last person to go down had forgotten to close the door.471

"Oh, there's a harp!" Herpogoni screamed as she grabbed the harp that was near the wall. "It doesn't work!" she wailed as she pulled the strings and no noise came.472

"Its broken, Herpioni! Let's go!" said Anny, as he, Harry, and Hertonopi jumped into the hole.473

Sharon ran as fast as her small legs could run, she was soo scared! She hadn' t heard a word from Harry and Anny and Herpogopopi in ages!474

Not that she cared in the least bit, but she knew they were up to something and wanted to be a part of it.475

She somehow got lost in the many rooms, halls, and latrines of the school.476

She bumped unintentionally into the carrot boy.477

"OW!" Ron shouted as he felt his hurt head.478

"You're a sissy!" Sharon stuck her big tongue out at him.479

Ron slammed her jaw shut.480

"OUCH!" Sharon shrieked as her tongue almost fell off.481

"As your punishment, you're gunna help me find Harry, Anny and Hermionipi!" Sharon said, pulling Ron into a secluded room...482

The Slytherins were getting anxious, they had lost every single point that Snape had given them, all because of Mcgonagall!483

They seriously needed more points, and when they saw Sharon and Ron go alone into some dark quiet room they knew that this was their chance to get them into trouble and possibly get points for there own House.484

"I can't fit!" said Ron exasperted and annoyed.485

Draco and Timmy slammed the door open.486

"EEEK!" Sharon screamed as the two Slytherins proudly entered with their wands and brooms.487

Sharon and Ron were trying to fit into some small hole in the ground.488

From Sharon's shriek Fluffy awoke.489

Timmy knocked it silly with his wand.490

"Help us!" said Sharon. For some unknown reason, Sharon and Ron had attempted to descend down the hole both at once.491

Draco and Timmy immediately started smashing their new brooms atop the two heads.492

"OUCH! EEK!" Ron's and Sharon's voices screamed as their bodies finally shot out of the hole.493

The Slytherin boys followed.494

Chapter 10495

Devils Snare496

Sharon fell flat on Harry, Ron on Anny and Draco on Hermionini, and Timmy on Draco's broom, which cracked.497

"My broom!" Draco cried, but soon found himself out of breath. The huge weeds that they had all fallen in were shaking and squeezing them.498

Ron went wild with terror, "HELP!!" he shouted, moving in every direction, trying to free himself.499

"Don't move! It will only make you die quicker!" said Hermioni as she knocked Ron out.500

But he kept struggling in his sleep.501

They all fell blissfully through Devil's Snare and out the bottom.502

But Ron was still struggling.503

"Somebody help him!" said Harry worried and frantic.504

Hermionini wondered if she really wanted to. She decided she didn't.505

"Devils snare hates light!" Sharon blurted.506

"I have a lightsaber!" Anny suggested, pulling a little silver pencil shaped stick out.507

"That's a flashlight!" Sharon said in disgust.508

"No! It's a real lightsaber from Miss Dorfas!" he shouted. He pointed it at Ron's butt that just happened to be sticking out since it wasn't struggling much.509

Anny's outstretched, mechanical arm froze.510

"The battery's dead! I need a new battery for my mechanical arm!" Anny said, about to cry.511

Sharon sighed angrily and pulled a battery out from her hair. She had a mechanical device in her hair that made her braid shoot up at will. One of her many secret spy tools.512

"Don't lose it! And give it back later!" she warned, as she smashed it into his metal arm.513

"How did that happen anyway?" she asked.514

"I'm busy, Sharon!" said Anny, as he tried to push the button.515

Sharon clenched her teeth.516

"Its jammed! The lightsaber doesn't work!" Anny shouted in dismay.517

"But Ann...." Herminnoni started.518

"Just kiddin'!" he turned the flashlight on and Ron came bouncing out of the weeds above.519

Sharon caught him.520

"Good thing we didn't panic!" said Ron after a series of mumbling and babbling strange words.521

Sharon threw him away and grabbed Harry, Anny, Hermionini, Draco, Timmy and Ron's hands and pulled them to the next door.522

Chapter 11523

The Key room524

In the next room they saw all kinds of keys with wings, flying around the room. They also saw some brooms on the floor. 525

"We have to find the key to the next door." Hermonopi shouted frantically. 526

"But how do we get it?" Sharon asked. 527

"We fly brooms of course!" Draco said. He then walked over to where the brooms were, and grabbed one. 528

"Wait Draco!" Harry shouted. "I'm supposed to get it!" He too grabbed a broom, and mounted it. But just before they were about to take off, Hermionini shouted, 529

"You don't even know which one it is!" Harry and Draco stopped. They hadn't thought about this. 530

"That's why you should have left it to me in the first place!" Anny said. "For with the powerful force, I will draw the right key to me!" Anny closed his eyes, and streched out his mechanicle arm. Everyone watched in anticipation. Soon, Draco got very impatient. 531

"Oh, forget you Skywalker! I'm going to find it myself." He said, then flew off amongst the fluttering keys. Harry followed. Anny was still standing with his arm outstretched, while the two boys flew around the room, chasing whichever key the other one was after. Soon, a very old-looking key with slightly torn wings came ungracefully fluttering down into Anny's metal hand. Anny grabbed it. 532

"This can't be it. It's too old and big, and probably doesn't even fit in the key hole." He said, then threw it back in the air with the other keys. Sharon caught it. Draco and Harry were still flying around. They were now both chasing after one particularly fast key. 533

"I was after it first! It's mine!" Draco shouted. 534

"Well I saw it first!" Harry said. Then, the key flew straight into the wall. The boys followed. But just before they got knocked out, Harry grabbed the key that was closest to him, then they both fell. When they awoke, they saw Anny, Hermi, Timmy, and the carrot boy arguing. 535

"Look at it, it's too big to fit!" Anny said. 536

"I think it'll fit just fine!" Said Hermi. 537

"No it won't, it's too old and rusty!" Timmy said. Ron was about to say something, when Anny covered his mouth. 538

"IT'S THE WRONG ONE!" Anny shouted. Hermi started bonking him on the head, and Timmy was pulling Anny's braid. Ron was struggling to break free. 539

"Get him Timmy!" Draco shouted. 540

"Oh, will you four stop already? We could at least try the key." Harry said. It didn't work. Draco was still cheering for Timmy, and Timmy was taking Anny's braid out. Hermi was now slapping him. Ron finally broke free, but was pulled back into the fight. What could Harry do? It was then, that he got an idea. He walked up to the fighting kids, bonked each one on the head, grabbed the key away from Anny, and stuck it in the hole. 541

"See? It fits!" Harry said. Right after he said that, the four kids bonked him on the head all at once. A large lump grew on his head. Timmy laughed and drew a face on it. Harry cried. Then, they tried to turn the key, but it wouldn't turn. 542

It was then that they noticed something strange. Sharon was gone! 543

Chapter 12544

The Chess Game545

"Where's...Sharon?" Anny asked. Everyone looked at each other, but no one seemed to know. 546

"Aww, who cares? She was quite irritating after all. Wasn't she?" Said Draco. No one said anything. 547

"Well, she either went back to Devil's snare, or..." Timmy looked at the door. 548

"She went through there." Harry finished Timmy's sentance. 549

"But how could she get through without a key?" Said Hermititi. Just then the door opened, and Sharon's head poked out. 550

"What are you all just standing there for? I've been waiting for you for hours and hours!" Sharon grabbed each one and pulled them all in without waiting for a reply. Inside the next room, it seemed as if there was a huge chess board with huge chess pieces all lined up.551

"Oh! Barbaric!" Herpiopipi snorted at the crouches pawns in the front.552

Sharon silenced her with a spell on the mouth.553

"Be quiet! Lets go!" She grabbed all of the kids hands and pulled them forward.554

Immediately the pawns infront of them jumped up and drew there stone swords.555

"Ha! I'll crack those silly rocky things with my lightsaber!" Anny took out his flashlight and ran towards the pawns once more.556

"He's going to sacrifice himself!" Hermiopoppy shrieked with concern.557

Draco snickered as Anny went flying away as the pawns slashed their swords at his head.558

"AAAAAAAAAH!" Anny flew back through the door to the key room and back to the devils snare.559

"Anny!" Herponky cried. Harry playfully jumped on top of the queen.560

Sharon saw how fun it looked so she jumped on top of the king.561

Draco and Timmy rode on the pawns.562

"And you can't play for being so dumb!" said Ron to Hermionini. He jumped on a knight.563

"No! I'll be rook!" she demanded, hugging the castle.564

Right then the other sides pawn jerked two squares forwars making way for there queen.565

It was a barbaric game as Hermionini and Sharon and Draco and Timmy were slaughtered off there stone steeds.566

They all sat angrily on the floor watching the game, now only Harry, the Queen and Ron, the Knight was left.567

"This is boring!" Sharon complained, she tried to pull the others away.568

Sharon's eyes went to Ron for a second. She saw that he was being stupid and riding right infront of the king.569

"Wicked!" she said trying to sound like him. "He's going to sacrifice himself! Yay!" she laughed, "now only Harry will be in the game!"570

Harry was red in the cheeks. He wobbled on his queen, "Checkmate!" he laughed, stepping foolishly infront of the king.571

"And so is Harry!" said Timmy, and right then Harry's queen shattered by the king, and Harry went tumbling down.572

"Oh no! we lost!" Herpongi gasped.573

"Not yet!" Anny said heroiclly as he stormed bravely into the room with a so-called jedi cape wich was actually Ron's troll loincloth.574

"Oh! Anny help us!" Hermionini said thankfully as she pushed him onto the chess board.575

Anny winked at every single person, then he turned to face the stone king.576

He pointed his hand at him and the king went flying over to all of the other pieces, shattering each one of them.577

"OUR hero!!" shouted all but Sharon.578

But right then two stray pieces that had fallen off of the broken statues flew towards Anny and Ron.579

"EEEK!" they screamed as they got knocked out.580

"Lets leave them!" Sharon sugested plainly as she lead everyone else to the next room.581

Chapter 13582

Potion Room583

In the next room, there was just a table with 7 bottles of different kinds of potions.584

Next to the potions, was a piece of paper with a rhyme on it. Just then, two fires sprang up on either side of them, blocking their way out. The one blocking their way back, was green, and the one blocking their way forward was purple. Hermi picked up the rhyme. It read:585

586

seven potions,587

all in different proportions.588

589

One takes you to Devil's snare,590

Drink this one if ye would dare.591

another will throw you in purple fire,592

the other will electrocute you like a wire.593

One will turn you into a rat,594

and you will be eaten by a cat.595

Through green fire, if another you choose,596

back to chess, and once more loose.597

One will make you fall asleep,598

while another will make you leap and leap.599

600

Choose wisely silly children,601

and to you let this be known,602

do not let the one you choose,603

like Myrtle, make you moan.604

605

"So, how do we know which is the right one?" Sharon asked. Hermi thought for a moment. 606

"Oh, it's all just a bunch of rubbish. We can drink them all!" Timmy said. 607

"No! There has to be another way!" Said Harry. Everyone agreed with Timmy, so Harry was left out of the choosing. They all chose a potion. Draco drank his first. Suddenly, he started to twitch, and his hair stood up. He was being electrocuted. "H...help me!" He shouted. Everyone laughed at him. 608

Timmy took his next. He started jumping around uncontrolably. He Jumped over to the other side of the green fire. 609

"Timmy!" screamed Hermi. 610

"Who's going to be next?" Sharon asked. 611

"You are!" said Draco, who was still being electrocuted.612

"No! It has to be Hermi!" Said Sharon. 613

"Fine! I'll be next." said Hermi, as she drank her potion. She disappeared through the green fire. 614

"That's not fair!" Draco shouted. He grabbed another potion, and drank it. He too disappeared. 615

"Now you have to drink one Sharon!" Harry said. 616

"I won't!" She said. 617

"Fine then, you can be stuck here forever." Harry replied. 618

"Wait, maybe if I drink one, I'll go jumping out like Timmy did!" She said. 619

"No, there was only one of those!" said Harry. 620

"Fine! I'll drink one." Sharon said, as she grabbed a potion and drank it. She turned into a rat. Harry laughed. 621

"Well, then, that leaves me with two potions to choose from!" He quickly picked one and drank it. But he didn't drink all of it, and just before he disappeared into the purple fire, he dropped the bottle. Sharon ran to the bottle, and licked some of the potion. She too disappeared through the purple fire. 622

Chapter 14623

The Man With Two Faces624

When Sharon was on the other side, she could see Harry walking to another door. She tried to shout, but it only came out in squeaks. She ran to Harry, and licked his foot. "EWWW, yuck, gross!" said Harry. He then picked Sharon up by her tail. "How did you get here, you little rat?" He asked, not expecting an answer. Sharon could only squeak. So, Harry just dropped her, and walked away. It was then, that Sharon saw a broken bottle of potion on the floor. It still had some inside. Sharon licked it. She heard a bang, and blew up. She looked down at herself. "I'm ME again!" She squealed, and ran after Harry who was just walking through the next door. Harry was shocked, and disappointed to see her, but he figured he had no choice. So Sharon went along. 625

They walked into a huge, stone room. There was a lone mirror there.626

"Oh I love mirrors!" Sharon jumped, as she pulled Harry towards it. "I look so good in mirrors!" Sharon ranted as they drew closer.627

Sharon choked on her words, for there was her reflection in the big mirror, but she looked absolutely gorgeous with her huge hunky clothes and blue hood. She had snowy white hair and her face was triple times chubbier then it was before.628

She was dancing aorund Cinderella and making her raggy clothes turn into a dress.629

"Oooh! I look good!" Sharon said.630

"No! I look better!" Harry pushed Sharon away and stood infront, he saw two odd looking people behind him. He tried to push them away but they wouldn't budge.631

Right then, Harry was tapped on the shoulder. He spun around and smiled. Profesor Quirell had come to help him fix this broken mirror.632

"Quirell! I'm so glad to see you!" Harry wrapped his arms around him or tried to. Quirell jerked out of his reach.633

"Give me the Philosopher's Pebble!" he said.634

"But what happened to your cute stuttering?" Harry said persistantly.635

"Its the Philosopher's Rock, you dummy! And why do you smell so nice?" Sharon wrenched the rather large turban from Quirell's head.636

"EEEK! I mean! How beautiful!" Sharon said, seeing the round old face on the back of Quirell's head. "And this smell!" she stuck the turban on her head tightly, basking in its smell.637

"That is mine!" Quirell took the turban from her and put it back on his head.638

"The Philosopher's Rock?" he asked Harry, holding out his hand.639

"Philosopher's Stone!" Harry screamed at him. "I don't like you anymore because you don't stutter!"640

Quirell sniffed and wiped away a tear. "What should I do?" he asked the face in the back of his head.641

"Use the boy" came the low quiet voice.642

"I already tried you silly!" Quirell punched the back of his head. The face bit his hand hard.643

"Ouch!" But then Quirell looked at Sharon interestingly. He grinned at her, "Look in the mirror!" he told her. Harry pushed her nose to the glass.644

"What do you see?" he asked. Sharon knew for some reason that she shouldn't tell him the truth.645

"I see myself eating chocolate frogs with Dumbles. He is very happy to be with me and is sharing a half-bitten roach jellybean with me!" Sharon said excitedly.646

"Oh thats so interesting! I envy you!" Quirell said sarcastically. He was about to hit Sharon's brainless head, but something stopped him. She was covered in love, most likely from Anny. He had risked his life trying to save her from the dancing boy, or so he said.647

"Harry, dear! You glance in!" he said in his best ladylike accent.648

Harry felt sick, but looked in. He immediately felt his pocket get really heavy. He knew that the Philosopher's Stone was inside.649

"I...I see myself reading a bed time story with Dumbles...." Harry tried to copy what Sharon had said.650

"Were reading the Ugly Duckling!"651

"You lie!" Quirell shouted into Harry's ear.652

Sharon nodded. 653

"In Sho and Marina Town you can get arrested for that!" she pretended to put hand cuffs on Harry.654

Harry was red in the face.655

His fist reached out to punch Sharon. Sharon moved and his fist met Quirell's face.656

Harry gasped. Quirell's turban flew off his head. Sharon caught it. All of this happened in one second.657

"How lovely! Thank you!" said Sharon putting the turban back on her head.658

Quirell shrieked. He turned into sand.659

Sharon remembered something Anny had once said about sand. "I dont like sand! its coarse and dry! and it gets everywhere!" she laughed as the sand went through her clothes and shoes and hair. Then a ghost like thing came out of the sand, and knocked Harry out. It flew in a circle around Sharon. It made her lose her balance, and fall. But she could smell the scent! How lovely it was!660

Chapter 15661

Their Way Back662

Sharon had to drag Harry all the way back. On the way, she passed by the potion room, where she saw some broken bottles left on the ground. The thought crossed her mind to give Harry the rat potion. 663

It would lose Hufflepuff 100 points! She thought. She dragged Harry into the chess room, where she saw Ron, Anny, and Hermini. 664

Ron and Anny were still lying on the ground and Hermini was playing chess all by herself. 665

She was losing. 666

"Barbaric!" She said, everytime one of the chess pieces got smashed. She saw Sharon come in dragging Harry by the hair. "Oh, you came." Hermini said. Sharon looked at the game. The knight Hermini was riding was the only chess piece of hers on the board. And when she turned around to look at Sharon, her knight was broken into pieces, and she was thrown off. She fell unconscious. 667

"NO!" Sharon screamed. "I am NOT dragging you all back at once!" Her scream woke Anny up. "Oh, good. You're awake! Now you can help me drag everyone back. I'm sure it'll be no problem for you, especially because you have the force!" Sharon said. But Anny just fell asleep again, before Sharon could even finish what she was saying. Sharon decided to just take them one by one. Starting with Harry. 668

Anny should be last. She thought. So she continued dragging Harry all the way to devils snare. There she saw a strange sight. Draco was caught in devil's snare! He was struggling. "Don't struggle! It'll only make you die faster!" Sharon said, trying to sound like Hermionini. Draco didn't listen. He thought it was no use anyway. Then Sharon remembered something. 669

Devil's snare hates light! Of course! How could I have forgotten? She pulled out her lazer pen. "This reminds me too much of Anny!" she thought. "And I don't want to save Draco anyway!" but then she decided that Hufflepoof needed more points and this might help her.670

"Mageeka bully bibadee baba tee booo!!" she sung to the huge Devils snare. Nothing happened.671

She decided she had to knock him out or he would die. She found Anny's usless battery on the ground. She picked it up and knocked the struggling Slytherin boy out. He slowly fell through the snakes, and onto the ground, unconcious. 672

Ah, more hair to drag! This time it's a dumb blond. Sharon thought. She used her other hand to drag Draco away, along with Harry. Then she remembered that they had come down through the hole right above devil's snare! "Now how am I supposed to get back up there?" She thought aloud. It woke Draco up. 673

"Ouch! Let go of my hair!" He shouted. 674

"EEEKK! You're alive!" screamed Sharon. 675

"Of course I'm alive you fool!" Draco said. "By the way, how did I get down here?" He asked. Sharon ignored him. 676

"You have to call someone quick! I'll go get the others." She said. "Unless of course, you want to drag everyone from the chess room to here all alone." said Sharon. At that, Draco shot off like a Nymbus 2000. Sharon left Harry in the room, and went to go get the others. One by one, she dragged them. And by the time it came to Anny, Sharon didn't have anymore strength left in her. 677

It's okay, Anny can use the force when he wakes up. Sharon thought, but then she remembered that saving Anny could win her an extra 100 points! So she pulled him by his braid, which was the only hairs on his head that she could grab ahold of. 678

"How will I ever get everyone out of here?" Sharon thought, when she had arrived at the Devil's snare room where everyone else was. "Oh, right. I must wait for Draco to come back with someone." She said to herself. So she waited. And after what seemed like eons, Draco still hadn't come back. What are eons anyway? And where is that Slytherin brat Draco? Sharon asked herself. She got very anxious and frustrated when he STILL didn't come back. 679

I must think of something myself, after all, I am in Hufflepoof, so that must mean that I am extremely smart! Or powerful! 680

So she thought, and thought, and FINALLY came up with something. 681

I knew I was smart! My plans are the best! 682

She smelled the fragrance of the turban and walked towards the key room. She sighed with relief. 683

Good! The brooms are still there! 684

She grabbed two of them, and ran back towards Devil's snare. "We shall fly out!" Sharon shouted at the top of her lungs, and hit Anny over the head with one of the brooms. He woke up. 685

"Ouch! Why do you always have to hit me?" He complained. Sharon ignored it. "Finally one of you are awake. But, Anny, you have the force, so you don't need a broom."686

"That's not fair!" Said Anny. Just then, everyone except for Harry woke up. 687

"I'M WINNING!!" Herminopi shouted, then, realized that she wasn't playing chess anymore. "Where's Timmy?" She asked. No one knew. 688

"Last I saw him, he jumped over the green fire." Hermyownie said. 689

"I'm right here!" Said a voice from nowhere. 690

"Where?" Anny shouted. 691

"Wingardium Leviousa!" The voice said. Anny, then started to float up through Devil's snare, and up through the hole in that led to Fluffy's room. There he saw Timmy standing with Professer Dumbledore, Mcgonagall, Snape, and Draco. 692

"Very good Anny! 100 points for Gryffindor. And 800 points away from Slytherin." Mcgonagall announced. 693

"That is not for you to decide, Minerva!" Snape said. 694

"The rest of the children must be brought back as well." Said Dumbles, as he proceeded to bring everyone through the hole. Sharon was last. She was still carrying her brooms. Dumbledore gave her a questioning look. 695

"Oh my! I didn't even know I was holding these!" Sharon lied, then threw them back into the hole, into Devil's snare. 696

Chapter 16697

Secrets: Told At Last698

As they walked out of the room solemnly, Harry tugged on Dumbles' robe.699

"Proffesor Dumb balls! I couldn't help but notice some similarities between me and Sharon!"700

"Like your disregards for my rules?" Dumbles asked annoyingly in his old, low tone.701

"No! Like our emerald gorgeous eyes and our raven black hair and our glasses and our well useful brains!" Harry said excitedly.702

Dumbles seemed to lighten up at that. 703

"Yes Harry, she is your twin and that's all you need to know, except that she is your elder and you must die obeying her!" he said, as he walked away with the other teachers or so it looked, but he turned at a sharp corner and blocked Sharon from trying to enter a latrine.704

"Perhaps we should discuss the recent happening about the Philosopher's Stone over some tea and Jellybeans?" he asked, pulling her hand away and walking towards Harry. "I guess you might as well follow..." Dumbles grumbled as he passed Harry and walked in the direction of his office.705

"But Dumb balls! I need to change my clothes! Quirell messed me up with sand when he died!" Harry said, indeed he was covered in sand and his glasses were foggy with grains of sand.706

"Then you may take your leave!" Dumbles said, now in high spirits and very excited.707

Harry ran away as fast as he could to find Herpeekoloni. 708

Dumbles sighed relievingly as he pulled Sharon into his office.709

They entered and sat at his table.710

He folded his hands and looked her in the green eye.711

"Now Sharon Potter, I will tell you all of how your parents disowned you and died, and of who killed them and how---"712

"POTTER?? I am not a Potter!" Sharon screamed loudly across the table. Dumbles quickly fed her a jellybean.713

"Oh! I must have slipped my mind! I only told Harry! Yes Sharon, you and Harry are brother and sister. Twins, in fact!"714

Sharon was stunned. She sat silently for a moment trying to imagine how that could be so.715

"Yes, your father Jamie Potter and his lovely, beautiful wife...er never mind, yes, they were so very into their Harry boy, that the moment he came out after you did, they sold you to some scrawny house elf thing who took you off to the mountains to live for eternity, but that obviously didn't happen. 716

"Well, after you left, your parents were attacked by Voldy and he killed them, but Harry’s life was saved, for he was covered in love! His parents lost their lives protecting him!" Dumbles exclaimed. Sharon frowned. 717

"Why are my parents always so mean?"718

"Because they are your foster parents. That’s why Harry has mean foster parents because you two have many things in common. Now I will tell you something that will make you dance into every school in the world!!" said Dumbles.719

"What?" asked Sharon as she drew closer to him.720

"Hufflepuff has gained two extra points for your bravery and wise choices!" he said proudly then added, "It's a wee bit less then Gryffindor's 2000 points that Minerva Mcgonagall gave them, but I believe Ravenclaw, Pigrain Pufdor, and Slytherin have zero points! Thanks to Mcgonagall! So, it looks like Hufflepuff will be in second place for the first time in the history of Hogwarts!" he laughed.721

Sharon misunderstood what he said, 722

That means Hufflepoof has always been first place but this year it had been second because of Mcgonagall! grr! 723

Sharon stood up to leave, "If you ever, ever think of replacing McDonald Minermouse, just call me and I'll be here at a moment's notice!" she said, then turned and walked away.724

Chapter 17725

Who Gets The House Cup?726

Sharon securly tied the huge garlic odor turban to her head. Tonight was their last night. The points would be announced and all would attend. Her tuban could be stolen!727

"I swear, whoever attempts such a feat will have the sloppiest dress in history tonight!" Sharon thought, as she pulled out her wand and took her seat at her Hufflepoof table.728

Anny sat drowsily in his seat. Mcgonagall shot him a reassuring wink.729

He didn't realize what she meant.730

"Who do you think will have the most points?" he asked Ron.731

"Slytherin, of course! I heard rumors of Snape secretly giving them points!"732

"No! Pigrain Pufdor will win! Snort!" snapped Pigly-boo, wiping his long snout and putting two sausages inside to clog his dripping nostrils.733

"I think Hufflpoof will! Remember what Sharon did?" said Hermionini jealously.734

"But Anny sacrificed his arm to save us! Then he sacrificed his life at chess!" said Longbottom.735

"Shut up! You weren't there!" said Harry, trying to be cross.736

"My oily hair is getting very anxious! Who do you think will have the most points?" asked Snape's sister.737

Sharon yawned and rolled her eyes. 738

"You'll see, Ape!" she said, now trying to pick up the sausage in her plate. It was not so easy, since Snape's sister's oily hair was dripping onto it, making her plate flood.739

"Stop it! Look what you did to my food!"740

"You called me Ape!"741

"You said your name rhymed with Snape!"742

"Yeah well my name is Ra....Raoshpaoape!" she concluded quickly.743

"Really?" asked Sharon.744

"NO!!"745

Sharon was very angry at her now.746

Right then Snape walked up to the two.747

"Best for both of you to know that Sharon Potter is to stay with us 'till the second year where she will return to Hogwarts. Her fee is still being payed by the Timmy's parents." he said even lower then his usual. He obviously hated the idea. How many times had his favorite speckled, yellow and black underwear been publically shown to all the other children? Thousands of times, perhaps.748

Snape would have returned the favor to James' daughter but he didn't want to see Sharon's underwear.... Did she even wear any? Better to be cautious and not take the chance!749

Dumbles sat comfortably in his large chair. The other teachers sat or stood near.750

"This year has been one to remember...sniff....of all my many years in Hogwarts....." Dumbles was crying loudly now.751

"Get to the points!" screamed Minerva pulling his wrinkled ear.752

"Gryffindor wins. They have obtained the most points!" said Dumbledore through his tears.753

Everyone besides Gryffindor sighed with contempt.754

"Its your fault!" Draco raged angrily. He threw a meatball at Crabbe.755

"You filthy little bug of bugger of a big bad blood muddy mugger!" he shouted at Goyle, then Timmy, and eventually everyone in Hogwarts.756

"Second is Hufflepoof, but that hardly matters!" said Minerva smilingly briliantly.757

Miss Dorfas and Filch arrived just then and stood behind Sharon.758

"Did we miss it? Who won?" they questioned, tugging her braids.759

"Go away! Pigrain Pufdor won!" Sharon lied, and pushed them away.760

Miss Dorfas looked at Filch in disbelief.761

"YES! PIGRAIN PUFDOR WON!! YAHOO!" she cried, jumping up and down, making a big scene. Filch joined.762

"PIGRAIN WON!"763

Every one stared at them. What were they doing? 764

Filch suddenly stopped, tugged on Miss Dorfas' clothes, and pointed up towards the dangling flags. Her mouth dropped, and so did the flag. Right onto her. When she got up, she took a closer look at the flag. 765

"Could it be? I didn't know that Pigrain Pufdor was a lion!" She said in disbelief. Everyone knew she was stupid, so they left it at that. 766

Sharon looked at her oily dripping plate, hmmmm...767

She threw it directly at Timmy.768

"My head!" He squealed. 769

Right then an owl fluttered into the room giving Timmy a letter from his parents.770

Dear, dear Timmy,771

Please tell Sharon that we have decided not to pay her fee 772

for going to Hogs arts. We are saving money to buy you a new biting owl, a new Nymbus 2001 paint brush, and a nice pimpled bullfrog if you want.773

Good-bye!774

Chapter 18775

Sharon Goes Back776

"Oh yes! Sharon will never come to Hogwarts again! And a pimpled bullfrog! Sharon could never afford such luxury!" Timmy shouted. He ran over to the Hufflepoof table, and shoved the letter before Sharon's face. Sharon fell off her chair in shock. 777

"WHAT? Now I'll never be able to come back again!" She heard laughing behind her. It was Peeves. 778

"Now, who in Hogwarts has two large balls dangling from their messy braids?" "Sharon does!" Timmy said. 779

"Dear Grandma!" said Peeves to Timmy. "What a large head you have! I know, all the better to think with right? But no! It's Hollow!" Said Peeves, while knocking on Timmy's head. He flew away, laughing. 780

The next day, they all had just arrived at station 9 3/4, and were greeting their families. Anny, however, did not feel like staying on this "wretched" planet any longer. He had been heart broken and black, pink, green and skin color mailed and his precious, innocent Sharon was now both a secret agent and a wizard. He somehow missed his sandy home. 781

Sharon didn't care. She was actually quite happy. She then saw Timmy walking off with his parents, but just before she could run after them, four hands grabbed her all at once. She turned around, and saw that they were her fake mom and dad's hands. "You're coming home with us, Cinderella! Her mom said. 782

"I'm not Cinderella, I'm her fair Godmo---" Her dad covered her mouth, but both the fools were pulled back by something rather large. 783

"Whadaya think ur doin'? She aint' yur daughter anymore!" It was Hagrid. 784

"That's right!" said Sharon. "And I will never be aga---" Hagrid's hand went over Sharon's mouth. 785

"Will ya stop shoutin' for once?" said Hagrid. Sharon nodded. "Now if Snape's sister teases yo' about ur yellow teeth an' cricked braids! jus' threaten her dat you'll put fire on her oily hair and she will burn to smoke!" Sharon nodded again and took one regretful look at her fake parents.786

"Good bye, my evil step mother and two ugly daughters!" she laughed, shaking her dads hand, when she let go there was the long lost pink sock in her dad's hand.787

"My sock!" he cried.788

"Its a bit oily because Snape's daughter made it. She's really good at knitting.... Hidious things mostly though."789

Sharon sighed. She went up to her mother and snipped her three braids off then ripped her yellow dress loose.790

"Now its your turn to be Cinderella!" Sharon laughed. She started to dance around her mother aimlessly singing her favorite song.791

"Maggeeka ..." Snape's sister grabbed Sharon away and pulled her over to her brother.792

"I think he will adopt you! Then we can be sisters!" squealed Snape's sister.793

"But that will mean you will be my aunty! No!" Sharon bonked her on the head.794

While Anny happily got off the train, Hermionini blew him so many kisses and gave him some sun-lotion for when he returned to Tatooine.795

"I promise to come back a true Jedi and still in time for the second year!" he said.796

When Timmy arrived at the station, his parents piled him with pimpled bullfrogs, "Thats all we could find at the store in Sho and Marina Town! They don't sell Nymbus whatever and owls there!" they sighed. 797

Timmy was stacked with jumping frogs and couldn't stand.798

Pigly-boo and Pigly-loo came to the train station as heroes. All of Sho and Marina Town came to the station to welcome them and quickly bring them back to their sacred town.799

Sharon wandered away to have one last glimpse of the Piglys. They were already gone. She saw Draco a ways off.800

She started to dance around him and sing insanely. Snape's sister screamed for her to come back.801

Sharon hurriedly ran off to meet an especially angry and serious Snape, leaving Draco half dressed in a blue dress. Her spell had for once worked!802

Snape's oily-haired sister giggled and hugged Sharon, giving her a fresh drench.803

"Oh, this is like a dream come true! I still can't believe I'm going to live with Snape's daught...uh, sister!" Sharon grinned. Snape scowled, and Snape's sister pulled them all away from the station to go home. 804

When they were leaving, Sharon abruptly spun around and ran back to Draco.805

"Mr. Malfoy! I was wondering if I could keep this!" she ripped the dress off Draco now making him entirely bare, except for his tiny 'Salazar Slytherin' boxers.806

"I promise you will have an elegant blue dress next year!" she winked and scampered away to Snape.807