When Pigs Fly... (the story is finally here)

Chapter 11

This day was like no other day. I sat in my little wooden chair in the corner of The Professor’s lab, watching him bustle around the room. As usual, he was muttering to himself…2

“And if this returns positive…” he muttered quietly. I didn’t bother to ask what he was muttering about. He wouldn’t answer me, besides I knew. He said a few more words, than the muttering stopped.3

I sat back, enjoying my few moments of silence. I closed my eyes and smiled.4

“Yes!” The Professor cried, startling me. I almost fell off of my chair as he pranced around the room.5

“Do you know what I have discovered, Apprentice?” he asked, his crazy eyes gleaming. I gulped. The Professor was always frightening to look at, with his bushy eyebrows and gray hair, so frizzy that even Einstein was surpassed.6

“No, sir, Professor, sir,” I stammered. He glared at me.7

“You are to call me Brilliant One, not this professor you insist upon.” I nodded. The Professor’s glare became a toothy smile.8

“Good!” He danced about the room, singing, “I’ve discovered Pegasus, I’ve discovered Pegasus!”9

I looked quickly at my watch. I needed to be home in three minutes, and it was a five-minute walk home.10

I raised my hand tentatively.11

“Yes?” the Professor snapped.12

“I need to go home. May I leave?” I asked. The Professor smiled.13

“Of course you may,” he said. I started to stand up.14

“Wait, I’m not finished. You may leave. When pigs fly!” he cackled and resumed his dance. I sank back into my chair and rolled my eyes. Being an apprentice to a mad scientist wasn’t a very easy job. Of course, he wasn’t a mad scientist full time. He was always mad, of course, but in order to earn the money to fund his research, he ran a pig farm.15

Yes, the Farmway Pig Farm (wonderful name by the way) was the worlds biggest supplier of luau pigs.16

I sat in that small chair for another hour before the Professor realized that I was still there and sent me home. Apparently, I was ‘disturbing him.’ If I had anything to say about it, I would say he was already quite disturbed.17

Before I left though, I saw him pour a strange glowing white liquid into a beaker. He set it into the beaker stand and laughed.18

I was so tired as I left, that I didn’t remember to close the door all the way.19

As I left the room, the Professor’s prized pig, Hercules, entered. No one noticed as he brushed up against the table with the beaker stand. No one saw the iridescent white liquid drip onto him. If someone had, we might have been spared a lot of trouble.20

Chapter 221

A month later, I came into work expecting the day to be just like every other. I greeted Hercules at the gate. He had always been my favorite of the pigs.22

“Hi Hercules!” I said as I rubbed his head. Some may call me crazy for talking to a pig, but when working with someone like the Professor, you have to have somewhere to reclaim your sanity.23

“You know, the only reason I took this apprenticeship was because I thought that I would be able to be a lab assistant. All I do is sit in that stupid wooden chair for hours on end.” Hercules grunted in sympathy. I laughed and patted his head one last time.24

“Hm…I should take you to the vet,” I remarked, “You’re getting lumps on your shoulder blades.” I walked into the Professor’s lab. He was on the phone, taking orders for his luau business, as usual.25

“You need one pig, for next week. Is that correct?…yes…my biggest pig?…yes…yes, it will be shipped out by tomorrow. I will send my apprentice to the airport with it…Thank you…Good bye.”26

I almost laughed. The Professor seemed so sane on the phone.27

As he was on the phone, I tried to walk past quietly. I had made it almost all the way, but I accidentally bumped into a table, and it rattled loudly. The Professor shot me a look. I shrugged. It wasn’t my fault that he kept the place so dim that I couldn’t see a foot in front of me.28

As soon as he hung up the phone, the Professor started in on his mumblings.29

“The Aloha Luaus! My, my, my. They’re the biggest luau company in all of Hawaii! And they want my biggest pig. Hmm, and that would be…”30

I paused, hoping that he wouldn’t say what I feared he would. He thought for a moment before he snapped his fingers and cried, “Aha!” loudly. I cringed. His voice was scratchy and shrill.31

“Hercules!” he called. I sighed as the big pig trotted over reluctantly.32

The Professor rubbed Hercules’ head, as he said,33

“Oh Hercules, you will be my biggest moneymaker yet! And if the Aloha Luaus likes my pigs…” he returned to mumbling, though this time I couldn’t quite catch what he was saying.34

A few moments later, his attention snapped from the pig to me.35

“Apprentice,” he called. I came over.36

“Yes, Professor? He growled,37

“Brilliant One!” before he continued.38

“You are to take the pig-”39

“Hercules,” I said. 40

“Yes, yes. The pig. You are to take the pig to the airport.” He eyed me suspiciously.41

“And no funny business.”  I rolled my eyes.42

The Professor still hadn’t forgiven me for the disappearance of his Pegasus DNA. He wouldn’t listen to me when I told him that I hadn’t taken it.43

“What happened to it then?” He had snarled.44

“I don’t know!” I protested for the millionth time.45

“It didn’t just walk away, did it?” he cried, “Now I’m back at square one…” He began his mumbling again and seemed to forget about me.46

I’ve been suffering his furious looks and insults for a month so far, and I honestly didn’t know how much longer I could take it for.47

And now he wanted me to ship Hercules off to some Hawaiian island where he would be cooked up for a luau! I couldn’t do that to my favorite pig!48

I was going to have to find some way around it…49

Chapter 350

“Hercules!” I called.51

The pig trotted up to me and followed me out the gate. I walked him down the dirt road that went from the Professor’s lab to the main road.52

It took a half hour to get to the airport. I looked at my watch and realized that I had five minutes to check Hercules into the Live Animals section for the luggage.53

I walked slowly, hoping to prolong the horrible event that the poor pig would soon have to suffer…54

“Final boarding call for flight 12203 to Honolulu. Repeat, final boarding call for flight 12203 to Honolulu,” blared the loudspeaker. I checked the papers the Professor had given me. Flight 12203 was the flight that Hercules was supposed to be on!55

“Uh oh…” I whispered. The Professor was going to kill me. Then again, he never would have to know. If I took Hercules home with me, the Professor could think that he was in Hawaii, becoming someone’s barbeque.56

I smiled evilly at my plot. This would also be a good way to get back at the Professor for being rotten to me. As he said himself, Aloha Luaus was the biggest luau company in all of Hawaii. And if they didn’t like his service…57

I ran straight home from the airport. I could see that my mom was standing in the kitchen, washing one of the windows. I burst into the house, with Hercules trailing closely behind.58

“What…Why is there a pig in our house?” my mom demanded. I smiled widely, and began to explain quickly.59

“…and the Professor was being really mean and wanted to ship Hercules-”60

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. And Hercules is the pig?” she interrupted. I nodded emphatically and continued,61

“He wanted to send Hercules to Hawaii for a luau, and I didn’t want to, only we missed the plane and I almost had to take Hercules back to the Professor, but he would have been mad and would have tried to send him to Hawaii anyway, so I brought him here so the Professor would think that he was in Hawaii so he would lose business.” I took a deep breath.62

“Wow,” remarked mom, “All in one breath. That’s…that’s quite a story…what I understood of it anyway.”63

“So can we keep Hercules? At least for a while? Please, please, please?” My mom sighed and looked from the pig to me.64

“I don’t know what your father would think of this, but for awhile.”65

“Yes!” I took Hercules and led him into our backyard.66

He ran around my yard as I thought.67

Ha! What fun. I get to have a pet pig and trick the Professor!68

You see, things like this rarely happen in small towns like mine. The most exciting things that have ever happened in my lifetime were when Old Farmer Jenkins’ cow got loose and wandered around the streets for a day, and when Billy Thompson, the boy who feeds the Professor’s pigs, thought that he saw a UFO. (it was an airplane.) I ate lunch, then ran back to the Professor’s lab. He didn’t even notice when I came in.69

I sat back down in my chair, and pretended to be engrossed in a book I had brought with me. The Professor was busy dripping green liquid into a test tube filled with something orange. As each drop fell into the orange, the mixture fizzed and hissed.70

I didn’t know what he was doing, and I was almost afraid to find out.71

After a few moments, the Professor turned around and saw me.72

“Did you have the pig?” he asked. I blinked. Could he have found out?73

“No…”I said slowly.74

“Then go get him! He’s supposed to be at the airport!” I rolled my eyes and sighed. He hadn’t figured out anything. He was just being his insane, absentminded self.75

“I already took Hercules to the airport. A long time ago.”76

The Professor grabbed my arm and stared at my watch. He blinked in confusion, and looked from my watch to me to his experiment. Then he smiled.77

“Good…good…” He walked past me and into his office, where he began to laugh loudly.78

For once, I laughed along with him. Not for the same reason, though. He had no idea what was coming. Unfortunately, neither did I.79