1
Her bare feet made soft patterings as she ran down the hall, white gown billowing about her in the breeze she created. The church's flowery decoration was lost as she slammed into the heavy doors, pausing to press her weight into them, eyes glancing at her hands for just a second, before she fell into the storm.2
The world was white and her tears, unshed until she was out, shattered as they hit the ground. She cried out as the wind roared and ripped at her pale flesh, tearing at her beautiful white dress she had sworn to wear only for him. It tore at her dark hair, and slammed shut the doors she had fought to open. Snow whirled around her, wrapping her up in its frozen embrace, protecting her, loving her. She threw her head back, long, dark hair bright against the swirling whiteness. 3
Then she cried out and crumpled to the ground, sobbing. That beautiful white dress fanned about her, a cloth snowbank.4
When the storm died down and the girl's family came looking for her they found nothing. Only a brilliant white wolf with a smudge of black near her left eye.5
Author notes
This story was in my head all day. Its full of symbolism and stuff, because I love both symbolism and stuff. I'm going to give the basic geist of this because I'm curious to know if it translates the actual story on its own.
A young, heartbroken bride (I've yet undecided why and might expand later) flees the church into a blizzard and collapses on the steps. Later, when she is being searched for, only a white wolf is found. The smudge of black would represent the 'taint' that ruined her wedding day. I've no idea what a good name for this girl would be, but I have my ideas for the story behind it, and might just scribble more down later.
-shrugs- I just thought this was an interesting idea. Inspired by a song and an overactive imagination, by the way.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
Wow, for a short rough piece, this is great! I hope you expand this, cos it has potential.
-HT
-
Well. Very nice. That's really too bad, I don't have time to say much right now but hey. Good work either way, no matter what it's actually about.
-
i read your story
i'm glad it was short as i'm presseed for time. good, however if the story is clear than you don't need the notes explaining the smudge, maybe you should elaborate or write on what happened that ruined her wedding day.
dave -
Beautiful
This is such a brilliant read! I love the symbolism you have used, especially the white wolf ending. Brilliant. It would be interesting to see what you come up with if you add more to this, which I think you should, but then Im nosy and want to know more about the girl.overall: 8.
-
excellent
Beautiful details...very symbolic. I loved the ending, a very nice twist.beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, overall: 8, ending: 5, characters: 4.
-
That is so beautiful. I love wolves more than anything in the world. I've been tempted to write stuff similar to that. I agree with haunted-thoughts: this was beautiful and inspiring. Keep it up! Blessed be!
-
One word:
Beautiful.
Another word:
Inspiring.
The imagery, like the others above have said, is fantastic. I am also a wolf lover hehe, for some reason they just fascinate me. As did this poem/story type thing. It's brilliant.
Not only do I like what you have written, I am intrigued with your idea for the story; it sounds very mysterious and meaningful. Write it at all costs!!
Love et hugs,
* ~ Laura ~ *
xXx -
the writing is beautiful.. amazing, and I agree with moodswinger, I absolutely loved the imagery. And I have to say I love wolves, i wont carry on about them but im a freak in that sense. I love animals.. and wolves are just so, so beautiful. I like your story idea too, its different, and inspiring in that sense. I loved this
-
brilliant
Oh my. I love your writing style. The poem as a whole, imagery and all captured me. I didn't read your comments until after so the ending surprized me.
Very well done!
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
