He's Nothing

*He’s Nothing*1

He’s felt low as low can get for 16 years of his life, well his 16 years old so from the day he was born he’s been low as low can get.2

A few weeks ago Tom went to see the doctor well he didn't want to but he was made to see the doctor. His dad grabbed him by his hair and pulled him to the car, his mum and dad got him inside. They had to lock the doors because they know Tom would try to run away, they got to the doctors and Tom’s dad pulled Tom by his hair again to the inside of the doctor. When they got inside the doctor wanted to see them right away. They went to see Doctor Verdy, he sat Tom down on a cold chair, he started to talk to him like he was his best friend but Tom knew this was all an act. Tom’s mum and dad just sat and watched from the other side of the room. Doctor Verdy started to ask Tom questions like how you are feeling today, why are you sad, do you cut yourself. Tom asked every question he was asked in the saddest way possible but he lied about cutting. If the doctor or his family knew he cut himself, Tom would be a dead man walking. After one hour of questions the doctor went outside the room with Tom’s mum and dad. Tom just sat on the cold chair and looked for a way out but nothing, he could hear what they were saying outside.3

Doctor Verdy told his mum and dad that he had depression, Tom’s mum and dad were shocked they couldn’t understand why, they always thought Tom was a happy person. Well he was until love started too bunnyed around with his life, he was until girls came in and out of his life. Tom knew what was wrong with him, he knew he was going to be put on pills. But he won’t take them, he won’t kill apart of himself just so another part can be better. Doctor Verdy came back in, Tom’s mum and dad had a shocked look on there face, doctor Verdy was writing everything down on his computer and gave Tom’s dad a paper saying I need these pills. On the way out, Tom’s dad didn’t grab him he just helped him out of the room like he had a broken leg. Tom just had a dead look on his face, Tom was deep in thought. They got in the car and went to get Tom’s pills they both left him in the car alone but before they left him Tom’s mum said were only going inside the shop will you be ok. Tom just sat there and looked dead again, he doesn’t want to be treated like he was a child.4

He can take care of himself, just because he’s sad a lot doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. Tom turned the radio off and just sat there thinking, he pulled a knife out of his pocket. If his family knew he had a knife with him they would think the worst of things. He just sat there thinking maybe he should end it but he can’t to many people need him, Tom doesn’t think much of himself. His mum and dad were on the way back to the car they had happy faces, but then they looked at Tom and there faces turned back to a look of why are you like this. They got in the car, Tom quickly puts his knife back in his pocket his dad turned to him and said gave me your hand. Tom didn’t ask any questions he just opened his hand and his dad gave him a pill, Tom’s dad said take it. Tom looked at the pill hard, it was a red pill, and the red colour reminded him of blood. Tom closed his hand and said I’m sorry for all this, I never meant to make you worry about me, and I don’t want to take the pill. I’m not going to kill apart of me, Tom’s mum just stayed silent but his dad asked Tom again but stronger to take the pill, again Tom said sorry but no. Tom’s dad said you’re taking the pill one way or another, he started the car but Tom opened the door and walked away. His dad opened the door and shouted after him but Tom started to run and climbed over a wall and he was gone.5

It started to rain and Tom was walking, he didn’t know where he could go still having the pill in his hand and the knife in his pocket. He walked for a good two hours and he noticed he’s at outside he’s friends Craig’s house. There is beer just sitting on the floor, he walked up to the door and knocked hoping they were home. No one was so Tom just sat down outside his friend’s front door. He looked at the beer again, Tom thought what the hell he grabbed a beer and opened it. Before he started to drink he looked at the pill again, Tom went back into deep thought and he throws the pill over two houses. He started to drink and before he knew it he went through seven beers. Tom was now drunk with a knife, he tried to walk home but he kept falling over and cutting himself on sharp rocks and other things. He got home, Tom’s lucky he lives in a different house to his mum and dad. Tom was now inside his house the first thing he did was go into his bed room. He noticed that the pills were on his draws next to the computer. But Tom just lays down on his bed and falls asleep, wile Tom was sleeping he had a dream. He was dreaming of two things, one  what life would be like without him and two Kirsty the girl he likes. He firsted dreamed of the world without him in it, the world was all happy there was no war. His friends all had smiles on and everyone was in a good mood evern Kirsty. Then he started to dream about Kirsty, Tom’s dream wasn’t about sex he just dreamed of the time when he kissed her for the first time, the time when he almost fell over before she made his knees so weak.6

Tom awoke from his sleep to find the time was 3:00am, he sat down on his chair next to the computer. He pulled out the knife that was still in his pocket he put it on the table, Tom found a lighter on the table to. Tom thought what he was doing is wrong but he still did it. He used the lighter to make the knife hot. With one slice Tom felt freedom, the cut he gave himself burn and blood at the same time. Tom knew what he was doing wasn’t the right thing but he gave himself three cuts. He knew people would hate him for it but he still did it, he thinks nothing of himself. Tom is as low as low can get, he won’t take his pills, he cut himself and he’s nothing. Maybe he should take his pills, maybe he’ll be happy for once, maybe. Or maybe he’ll sleep to find himself never waking up. Tom is nothing and always will be.7