A journal Entry

A Journal Entry1

Many people have different forms of escapism. Since I was young I have always relied on writing as my personal outlet and escape from the world. When there were obstacles that I have encountered and had to overcome writing helped me through them. Writing it is the icing on my plain sponge cake. It doesn’t always bring the sun out on a rainy day, but rather, serve as a shielding umbrella that locks out the harsh cold winds and wet breeze. As a child I would always admire the actresses on television. Sometimes I think I idolized them more than I should have.  2

I remember doing homework at my friend’s luxurious home when I was only twelve years old. She held a brush in her hand, pretending it was a microphone, looking in the mirror and thanking her family and friends on behalf of her Oscar award. I found a book titled “Harriet the Spy” under my bed one night. How the book got there is beyond my knowledge. But that night I read. Then, I lay in bed and  wrote about how I wanted to be in the limelight someday, as if it were the only key to success. I cried constantly because I knew I didn’t have the thin figure, flawless skin or beautiful blonde hair that I believed was a prerequisite for appearing on  television. 3

I finally finished the novel, with more insight than any test or lecture I had been given in elementary school. Years later I now realize that “the key to success” is to do what you love in life.  I found happiness those nights I wrote in my diary or the times I would venture into the park or Tim Hortons and analyze people’s actions. Like Harriet M. Welsch, I realize now that both writing and society intrigue me. I want to be out there to see the world and let others see the true and honest side of things. It has never been about other people though because when I had no place left to turn, I wrote. Now I believe that writing has allowed me to expand my knowledge and become more imaginative. It has given me the chance to ride rockets into space, travel to the Caribbean and sail oceans alike. In my stories I have been to more worlds and on more exciting adventures then anyone could ever ask for. I want my life to be filled with wonder and amazement. It seems that whenever I pick up a pen or open my laptop those are the feelings that overcome more than anything else. Writing is what I live for and was bread into me. My dream is to be able to write and make build a career from it. Writing is a  passion that has been with me since my early elementary grades. It is a personal outlet which allows me the freedom of expression and opinion. It makes me think for myself and push out all of the negativity. The summer my father decided to leave home was also the most crucial stage in my life. I felt as if there was no one to talk to about my feelings because none of my friends had gone through what I had gone through. My journal was the only thing that could understand. I never cared that it was nothing more than an inanimate object. 4

I also found that through this form of escape I found a hidden talent lingering in my soul. I realize now that I should be able to project my inner feelings for others to see once in a while as a learning experience. For instance, I will write a screenplay reflecting incidents in my own life that I think would inspire others. It’s like Ol’ Golly said: “Knowing everything won’t do you a bit of good unless you use it to put beauty into the world.” I know that if I am able to write for the rest of my life I will promote happiness toward others, thus, making the world more beautiful. I try my best to see everything through different perspectives when I analyze things in life. After all, like Harriet: “I am on a mission to be a great writer. A good friend once told me that all great writers try to see everything”.  5

I will venture to the top of the mountain and finally see the world someday. I will analyze and write about as much as possible, gaining as much knowledge that is available. As a writer I do not feel I should never settle for the middle of the mountain. Living at the top is essential for my ambitions. Being able to look down at the beautiful world is my only aspiration. At the top I will gain more knowledge. I will be able to see many more views and opinions from the land surrounding me.  One day I will sit at the top of the mountain and look down. Then, I will be completely satisfied with life. 6

The truth is that I am already satisfied because I am able to write about how it would feel to finally make it that far up. Once I do finally reach the top I will thank myself for loving every minute of the journey. Basically the reason why I find writing my personal form of escape is because I can make up stories that won’t ever happen to me in reality. I can be creative without worrying what grade I will achieve or what others will think of me. When the world shuts me out the only thing I need to make myself smile is a pen and paper. That way, I can write the positive things. I can create. I can believe.7

I remain your faithful respondent, 8

Stephanie9