We ran to catch the bus,we'd overslept. We got our favorite seats, in the back and to the left. Some guys tried to get us to move, but we made a scene and the bus driver yelled at them to sit down. "dumb jocks" Danny muttered.1
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At the museum where we went for the field trip, we met up with our neighboring school. Danny eyes flicked to the back of the group where a few boys were chattering. Her eyebrows raised as she saw a cute blond step out of the group. Their eyes met and he raised his eyebrows at her, she blushed and waved. I grabbed the hood of her sweatshirt and pulled her along. 3
At the end of the tour, Danny and her crush got at least 5 demerits for talking to much. There was a gift shop in the museum. So the teachers said if we had brought money we could get something, but if not then to wait outside. When we got outside, Danny pulled the guy behind a tree, i followed. As i was creeping around, something ran into my back. I squeaked. Well, i couldn't scream or Danny would hear me! "who are you?" i whispered angrily. "who are YOU?" he shot right back. "and what are you doing spying on my best friend!!!" we screamed at the same time. "Oops." i said as i turned around slowly. Danny and the new guy were staring at me and his friend wearing the most angry faces i had ever seen. "get them" Danny said through gritted teeth. It's a good thing I'm on the track team, because that guy was fast!! It turns out his friend wasn't so lucky. I heard a thud. Danny had caught him. But i knew if i tuned around it would cost me. "Daniella!!" Ms. Snutndoodle, our principal, shouted. "Caleb!!" his principal shouted. Caleb had just grabbed my ponytail, he pulled, hard. "OW!!!!!" I screeched in agony. "detention!" the 2 principals yelled in unison.4
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Comments
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Rephrase: ""dumb jocks" Danny muttered.1"
To ""Dumb jocks," Danny muttered."
Hm...a chapter needs to en in a way that encourages the reader to go to the next one...This does do that, but something is lacking...
HT
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Good
That was pretty good. Kind of funny if you really want to know. I liked it a lot. Good work. God Bless!


