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The other evening I called upon the muses to bring me an anthem of great courage in the face of overwhelming odds. Perhaps a brave tale of overcoming terrible hardships like freezing rain, desert heat, and wounds inflicted by a fierce enemy. I imagined that the poem should end in a great patriotic victory and a triumph for righteousness through determination, commitment to ideals and the love of country and family. And as is the custom of muses, in the stillness of the middle of night, a familiar spirit appeared to me. 2
“I will give you no single rhyme for your anthem,” she said.3
“Why?” I inquired. “Why appear to me only to withhold your gifts?”4
“Tonight in your dreams, when you are free to travel, open your mind and I shall show you the truth. For the greatest gift a muse through a poet can give to the world is the truth, the rhyme is merely the package the gift comes in,” she replied.5
And true to her word, she came to me in my dreams and we traveled. She took me to a strange place on a grassy plain where primitive men in animal skins fought fiercely hand to hand and with pointy sticks and clubs. I asked what I was seeing, but she did not reply. And then I saw ancient soldiers in leather and metal armor wielding swords, shields and metal tipped spears entwined in a dance of death. There were chariots circling about them and arrows slicing the air, and all were apparently oblivious to their ancient counterparts sharing the field of battle with them. Then above the din of the battle came the sounds of gunfire and cannon and men in cloth uniforms of various colors engaging each other in mortal combat. Their bullets and bayonets were passing harmlessly through the primitive and ancient warriors but tearing the flesh of their contemporary adversaries. Then came tanks and planes and explosions from unseen weapons systems far away and smoke and flying earth obstructed my view of much of the spectacle. And the cries of battle, the screams of the wounded in many languages and the chorus of death rattles were nearly drowned out by the gunfire and explosions. And through the haze of battle I saw the men fall in rapid succession, some struck by their counterpart and other’s felled by unseen hands. Some were torn asunder by powerful weapons others screamed out in agonizing pain as their spirit was cut or beaten from their retching bodies. And the terrible massacres, overlaid each upon the other, went on with ever heightening ferocity as I witnessed agape from the midst of the battlefield. Then there was silence and I was no longer standing in the soil, blood soaked by the dead and dying men and horses. The gunfire and explosions had ceased and I was in the dark and all was quiet. 6
“What have you shown me?” I asked meekly into the void.7
“I have shown you the world as it is and as I must see it; without the benefit of the double blindnesses called time and perception. Each combatant you witnessed gives his life for his country, his God, his family, his beliefs, his comrades or for his leader’s dreams of glory or conquest twixt each sunrise and sunset according to his needs in the hope that some fine day he will finally prevail. Some were felled before the outcome of their particular battle was determined and through their faith, courage and commitment they will never concede defeat. And others return to the battlefield to rejoin their comrades from vast distances and years away.”8
“Are they then damned?” I inquired.9
“See it as you please. Most call them heroes.”10
“Can they ever win?”11
“Win, lose, time; illusions all.” 12
“And what of their causes? What of those who fought for conscience and righteousness?”13
“Illusions all.”14
“What of those who fought to protect, defend or avenge their loved ones?”15
“They fight on with the rest.”16
“Then their love or hope damns them.”17
“Without love and the desire for love there is no hope, without hope there is no courage, without courage there are no heroes, without heroes there is no war.”18
“Do you claim a world without love would be better?” I had to ask.19
“The truth is in the knowing of what is, not necessarily in the changing of what must therefore be. I only promised to explain why I would not help you write an anthem. Sometimes the truth does not set you free, rather it might just illuminate the nature of your cage.” 20
“And what of those who don’t fight?” I inquired, feeling that my interview was fast coming to an end.21
“There are very few if any withering monuments to cowards and losers that can support ivy or perch pigeons. And I can say for certain that there are many kinds of convictions and illusions that can trap a man or a woman. But, it would seem to me that letting go might be the first step to moving on.” And then I believe that I could actually feel the ethereal creature smile slyly in the darkness as one does when one shares a great secret. 22
And with these strange visions replaying in my mind I awoke, left to wonder if the world really needs another battle hymn. Instead, I concluded, I might just tell the story of a dream I had when I set out to write a poem late one evening. 23
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Excellent concept
This is a very high concept piece. A great idea, brilliant in its sweep and meaning. Personally, I felt it was let down a bit by the styling. I think that this could be written so much better with a little more thought.
There are profound revelations in the second half, after "What have you shown me?" but I would have preferred these to have been revealed to the reader in the "viewing" of the first half. The first half is great, and with a little more scene setting by the muse, I think the second half can be disposed of or, better yet, interwoven into the first. As it stands, the second half feels like being preached to, and while I agree with the concepts, my instinct is to find a way to undermine or disagree. But then, I can be a disagreeable person.
I can imagine near the opening a line which might be something like: "I cannot give you the anthem you seek. Nor can I explain why. But if you will open your mind, I will show you why I can never help you sing the praises of heroes."
Hopefully, I've given you some food for thought, because it is a shame this piece is so under-applauded when it's such a brilliant idea.
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Futility of war, this is a deeply thoughtful presentation of the ideals for which people struggle and sacrifice; it is the lesson finally brought home by the war in Iraq, such sacrifices deserve worthy leaders and causes..people who realize that life is most precious, and war is a failure of reason, the thing which makes us human...reason... truth is first casualty of war. Excellent work here...PK
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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[Sometimes the truth does not set you free, rather it might just illuminate the nature of your cage]
Loved this! -
good story. nice writing. enjoyed the reading.
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"For the greatest gift a muse through a poet can give to the world is the truth, the rhyme is merely the package the gift comes in,” she replied."
Wow. i really liked that part. that and
"And with these strange visions replaying in my mind I awoke, left to wonder if the world really needs another battle hymn. Instead, I concluded, I might just tell the story of a dream I had when I set out to write a poem late one evening."
Great job, I really enjoyed reading this. keep up the amazing work.
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well-written. i can see the images you described clearly in my head. i enjoyed reading this very much. and i agree with what everyone above me has already said: your style is very classic. :hugs:
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this was great ... I got a whiff of Dickens's "A Christmas Carol" in this, regarding your trip with the muse. This had a hidden bullet, and you fired it well in your last paragraph. Excellently crafted story and well woven together to a harmonious whole.
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This was beautifully written! As the person above me commented, the style is very classic. I truly enjoyed reading it.
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I always find it interesting that morals are best learned when they are taught to an unwilling student in a story. Because for this to work the unwilling student's objections must be answered. I've done a lot of work on opposing arguments in writing (playing devil's advocate with the charactor tools you have can be very difficult) and while your student isn't "unwilling" per say, I think you pull off the effect well. I know very few writers who challenge their characters to answer tough questions, and every time I see it I enjoy it. As a genre in whole I don't care for fantasy but this story is one I've enjoyed. I think the diolouge, while not using old english, is still worded in a classical fantasy way. The only thing I might change is the last paragraph. It's a little obvious for my taste, if you get where I'm comming from. Of course, it's your story and you might like it like that.
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breathtaking
wow! this really takes life and gives it a whole new viewpoint i really enjoyed this piece -
As I told you before, in my opinion this is one of your best story. The way you tell the dream is indeed dreamlike but the images are very powerful. Extremelly captivating from beginning to end, and what an end!
Excelent write my friend
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Wow.. what an awesome story.. You did a wonderful job with this. It held me right to the very end. Blessings.. debby
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This is wonderful Rj..It kinda goes along with a snipette I wrote recently called war. But even though we say basically the same thing.Yours is much more a woven fantastic talented story. Well worth reading over several times as a reminder of the folly of battles won or lost and merit.~~~Suseann
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A most evocative vision of an afterlife that my Norse ancestors would have considered Odin's reward for the bravest and the best... but whose underlying philosophy you have challenged in a subtle and thought-provoking way...
It is rare that I award an applaud... but you surely deserve one...
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Amazing story and message
Such a great storyteller you are, and quite good at getting a message across too within your writeing. Extremely well done here, the story had me glued to the screen and sucked right into the plot. The ideal you speak of is a grand one and one to think about for a long time after. Thanks for the chance to read such a good piece of writeing, was most enjoyable and enlightening to boot. Looking forward to more from you in the future for sure, keep up the excellent works! -
*Fuck* Or I mean darn (Censors self) You hit it on the bullet!
If you said more you would be abducted by g-men!!!
At least I am not the only one who feels this way!!
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