If you've been outside tonight, you'll find that it's just still enough, just quiet enough, just humid enough, just dark enough... to mistake it for a summer evening though winter still holds its grasp over February.
Tonight, as I walked barefoot through the grass, I suddenly remembered the countless nights I laid out on the hood of my car, gazing up at the stars, talking to you... or, if I wasn't talking to you, I was thinking of you. With my head resting some-what comfortably on my windshield, and one leg brought up and the other lying straight out, my toes still missing the end of the hood, I would pass the nights of summer, and even some well into fall just lying there... laughing, smiling, musing, singing, and thinking. You brought out a lot in me that I hadn't seen before.
Still, the magic disappeared, as I've found it tends to do. I know it was partially my pushing you away from me, partially you pushing me away from you, but mostly it was our mistake in thinking that a relationship was necessary between us. It wasn't. I was so much happier when it was just you and me and the Fourth of July, surrounded by adults who had sipped one too many margaritas. Or what about that day at the empty amusement park, where we both conquered our fears and rode the tallest ride they had to offer? Do you remember that day at the mall when your mom saw your arm around me?
We're so different from the way we were then. I don't know what it is about you that still reminds me of summer nights spent on the hoods of cars, because you're not that boy anymore, and I'm certainly not that girl. Maybe it's just the magic that twilight holds as it slowly comes, then goes, barely even recognized during the hectic day.
In a way, you're my twilight, my summer night in the winter, and in a way, you're the closest friend I have.
Author notes
Wrote it a while ago on Myspace.com, but I had it set as private because I didn't want anyone to read it... but now, I don't mind so much.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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so nice, so cute, so touching, so loving, so sweet, so moving, and a all in all good poem. keep them coming
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Thank you for the comment! That's the first REAL one I've had in a very... very long time.
Kate
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Awwwwwww that is so cute i really like how you take us into the past while staying in the present it is touching and i could feel how u guys felt for eachother like it was the fourth of july and i loved how you said winter holds its grasp over February because i live in Minnisota where it doesnt matter what month it is it will snow or hail or becaume unberably hot!! the weather seems to control the month...lol it sounds crazy!!!
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Bravo!
Wow! I really just love this it is so magically beautiful. I can't say it enough Great, Bravo! Fantastic! -
Sweet, interesting, cute. It hints of a lot more history that goes unsaid, yet the examples are enough. But I noticed a few things you might want to think about.
"If you've been outside tonight, you'll find that it's just still enough, just quiet enough, just humid enough, just dark enough... to mistake it for a summer evening though winter still holds its grasp over February."
I would suggest "...holds its grasp on February." Holding a grasp over an object or concept confuses, as "grasp" implies touch.
"I know it was partially my pushing you away from me, you pushing me away from you, and our mistake in thinking that a relationship was necessary between us."
Partially... this implies that it was partly something else too, something unsaid. I don't know if that's your intent, but it seems a little unclear. -
good
Touching, and very moving. Iguess we have all felt like that at one stage or another.
Mike -
Awwwwwwwwwwwww i thought that was really cute!! You wrote it well too. So sweet!
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