Two White Knights (part 3)

‘I should get home, face my parents,’ Chris whispered, sighing.1

Jesse lifted his head from Chris’ chest, looking up to him.2

‘What? Why?’ 3

‘I need to sometime, and I’d rather get it out the way, instead of sitting here, wondering… but can I come and stay tonight if it’s hell?’4

‘Sure you can, I will walk you to the end of the road,’ Jesse said, squeezing Chris’ hand.5

‘Thanks man,’ he said, his eyes looking up at the ceiling, almost tearful.6

They walked down the street, Jesse knew to stay silent, Chris was nervous and in deep thought, he needed this time to prepare himself. They came to the end of the road, and Jesse took Chris’ hand.7

‘It will be fine, and even if it isn’t you have me to come to whenever you want… and’8

‘Thanks, but I’m fine,’ Chris said, turning away, swallowing the lump that had formed, his throat drying up.9

Jesse looked into Chris’ eyes, bringing him to tears, Chris collapsing in Jesse’s arms.10

‘Be strong Chris, it’s going to be fine…’ he spoke softly, rubbing Chris’ back gently.11

Chris stood strong, wiping away the tears, squeezing Jesse’s hand one last time and then leaving.12

‘Bye,’ Jesse said, turning away.13

**14

Chris walked, his fists clenched, he hated feeling so weak, unable to control himself. He strolled down the road, taking a deep breath as his house came into sight. He walked up the driveway, and paused as he reached the door. He inhaled slowly, and turned the metal handle.15

‘Hi,’ he mumbled, walking into the living room.16

His father was sitting on the couch watching football, and by his stance obviously trying to be as manly as possible. Chris took a drink of water, downing it and then approaching his father.17

‘Dad, I’m not gay…’ he finally said.18

‘What? You must be, your mother flaming well saw you kissing that fag outside. Are you calling your mother a liar? Trying to put even more embarrassment on the family are you?’19

Chris attempted to stay calm, although hating the words his father spoke.20

‘I mean I’m not gay, I like girls too,’ he said, lowering his head, his hands tucked in his pockets firmly, ‘and I’m not an embarrassment to my family Dad, most of the school knows, most of them accept me for who I am, just as I wish you would…’21

‘Accept you? Accept you?’ he continued, his voice growing louder, as he stood with anger, his eyes sneering into his son’s.22

‘Yes dad, I may like guys, but it doesn’t make me any less of a man, I still enjoy watching rugby, still drink beers, still have manly chats with my friends, still check out women, I just do other stuff as well…’23

‘I didn’t bring you up to become a pussy ok? I can hardly look you in the eye, I feel sick in calling you my son for god’s sake,’ he shouted at the top of his voice, slowly approaching Chris.24

‘Then there’s something you should know, ever since you started treating mum like shit I’ve hated you, I’ve wanted to hit you, shout at you, tell you to leave her alone, but I can’t, because I know it makes her even more upset, she can accept me, why the fuck can’t you?’25

With one harsh blow from his father, Chris fell to the floor, hitting his head on the staircase. He rolled around, his eyes blurred, feeling dizzy, unaware of where he was.26

‘A fag would only fall,’ his father muttered, turning away back to the television.27

Although he could hardly see, Chris rose, his fists clenched with fury, as he leant towards his father, about to hit him. He stopped half way, holding himself back.28

‘Only a weak bastard would hit his wife and son. You’re the one who needs your head sorting out, you’re the one who has to make yourself feel big and strong, by lashing out on people who can hardly fight back.’29

Chris turned with those final words, running up the stairs and to his room. He grabbed a bag, filling it with clothes, and all his other necessities. He looked around his room, then grabbed the photo of Jesse from under his bed, zipping up the bag and walking down the stairs and out the door. 30

Reaching the end of the driveway he dropped his bag, zipping up his black hoody, and pulling the hood over his bruised face and bleeding head. He took a walk to Jesse’s house. The journey was tiring, the cold blowing into his face, the words of his father resounding in his head. Reaching the park, he took a detour, heading into the empty play area. He placed his bag on the floor, treading up the slide, leaving dirty foot prints on the shiny metal. He walked across the platform, an anger in his strides, breathing heavily through his gritted teeth. 31

He screamed suddenly, punching at the little red roof, annoyed at himself, not knowing what to do, how to feel. Tears came to his eyes, as he continued to punch at wood, his hands beginning to bleed, his face growing redder. 32

‘I fucking hate him….’ He shouted, slowly calming as the anger escaped him. Instead he turned, leaning back onto the blue panel, tears streaming from his tired eyes, as rain began to patter onto his blonde hair. He shuffled impatiently, embracing his knees, embedding his eyes with his fists, attempting to stop the tears. The rain grew heavier, and stood, feeling chills run down his spine, wiping the tears away harshly. He ran, grabbing his bag and going to Jesse’s.33

‘Jesse!’ he shouted, banging his fists on the door, tears streaming still. ‘Jesse open up!’ he shouted again, becoming more and more desperate.34

He turned the corner, heading to Jesse’s bedroom window, when he saw… Jesse on his bed… Chris grew closer, his eyes wide to the sight before him… Jesse was laying on the bed, Rachel, his ex-girlfriend in his arms. 35

‘I loved you!’ Chris screamed, taking a stone and hurling it through the glass window.36