....'Ah my bed!' thought David as he crawled in feeling every muscle and bone ache in his body. On getting back home from basketball practice that evening David had only one thing in mind, his 'sweet, sweet' bed.1
He didn't even give his new neighbour a second glance, the neighbour everyone had been talking about in school; 2
'yoh Davey did you see that new rich guy..?', that was from Frank 3
'..you seen that house he built.. man it's huuuuge!' that was from Petey and of course there was the occasional '..wonder if he has a cute daughter ...!'4
The fact was that David had seen his new neighbour (a rock star?), when he had moved in last night.. well caught a glimpse of him anyway, as 'he' had driven through his massive gates in his black limo and promptly walked into his huuuuge (in the words of Petey) house with his black coat flying behind him. All this he had seen thanks to his overlooking bedroom window. He had seen something else that night too... the new guys eyes.. as 'he' glanced at David just as 'he' closed his door. It was a look that had made his skin crawl.. his eyes.. they seemed to have somthing of a smile in them. Not a friendly smile.5
But all this was far away from his mind as his head hit his pillow.. the last thoughts were 'sweet bed'.6
'What was that..?' whatever it was, it was enough to wake him up. David checked his glow in the dark clock, it said 3:12.7
'There it is again'... a soft creaking noise just outside his door. And a swishing noise like silk being dragged against something.....mom?... the wind outside?.. a branch on his window..?8
'Calm down David.. just go back to sleep', David closed his eyes.9
Another sound, this one much louder "...David.."..... someone was saying his name.... softly.. seductively. David opened his eyes with a start to see a shadow sweep across his bedroom floor...10
"...David... be still David..." and in what seemed like a split second he was staring into those eyes again.11
A soft moan escaped David's lips on which he felt 'him' place one cold finger. 12
"..shhh David.." 13
'What's happening.. I can't move.. stop buryin your head in my neck!... ahh.. stop ,that hurts!.... please..!'14
".. David... David...."15
His name came out louder and louder, he closed his eyes again, more like winced in pain... and when he opened them he was looking at his mothers worried face.16
"David.. wake up!... you don't look well honey.. you'r pale.."17
'Yes! it was a nightmare!' he felt the relief spread over him... he bounded out of bed only to feel his knees buckle in weakness....18
"Davey!" he heard his mom yell, "..wait a sec.. what are those two holes in your neck...?!"19
He didn't even give his new neighbour a second glance, the neighbour everyone had been talking about in school; 2
'yoh Davey did you see that new rich guy..?', that was from Frank 3
'..you seen that house he built.. man it's huuuuge!' that was from Petey and of course there was the occasional '..wonder if he has a cute daughter ...!'4
The fact was that David had seen his new neighbour (a rock star?), when he had moved in last night.. well caught a glimpse of him anyway, as 'he' had driven through his massive gates in his black limo and promptly walked into his huuuuge (in the words of Petey) house with his black coat flying behind him. All this he had seen thanks to his overlooking bedroom window. He had seen something else that night too... the new guys eyes.. as 'he' glanced at David just as 'he' closed his door. It was a look that had made his skin crawl.. his eyes.. they seemed to have somthing of a smile in them. Not a friendly smile.5
But all this was far away from his mind as his head hit his pillow.. the last thoughts were 'sweet bed'.6
'What was that..?' whatever it was, it was enough to wake him up. David checked his glow in the dark clock, it said 3:12.7
'There it is again'... a soft creaking noise just outside his door. And a swishing noise like silk being dragged against something.....mom?... the wind outside?.. a branch on his window..?8
'Calm down David.. just go back to sleep', David closed his eyes.9
Another sound, this one much louder "...David.."..... someone was saying his name.... softly.. seductively. David opened his eyes with a start to see a shadow sweep across his bedroom floor...10
"...David... be still David..." and in what seemed like a split second he was staring into those eyes again.11
A soft moan escaped David's lips on which he felt 'him' place one cold finger. 12
"..shhh David.." 13
'What's happening.. I can't move.. stop buryin your head in my neck!... ahh.. stop ,that hurts!.... please..!'14
".. David... David...."15
His name came out louder and louder, he closed his eyes again, more like winced in pain... and when he opened them he was looking at his mothers worried face.16
"David.. wake up!... you don't look well honey.. you'r pale.."17
'Yes! it was a nightmare!' he felt the relief spread over him... he bounded out of bed only to feel his knees buckle in weakness....18
"Davey!" he heard his mom yell, "..wait a sec.. what are those two holes in your neck...?!"19
Author notes
.. i read the title of the contest and this lil story instantly popped into my head... i donno if it is that scary... but i hope u like it and i hope it takes u a while to sleep tonight!.. he heheheh!
{Things that go bump in the night}... basically read the rulez
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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interesting
not really scary. but if you gave it more gusto, and set the scene behind the vampire's bite, what did he look like, what was the day like, how did he get in?overall: 5.
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hehe creepy!! this is cool
im freaked out by all things that go bump in the night so yeah.. im scared now... and we just got new neighbors too about a month ago maybe... (the daughter cant park a car for the life of her!) but this is cute, i like it and it is freaky greak write and good luck in the contest
Christy
p.s- thanks for commenting on mine
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hey thanx a trill man... like i sed i juz wrote it down as it was comin to my head... glad u atleast found it creepy.. will take that as a compliment!... i do have another story in mind... will put it up soon...
tnx again!
sleep tite ..Muha hahaha hahah!...(errr humm... sorry abt that!) -
Scary
I liked your story, it was pretty creepy. I have to be honest though that I don't really go for "it was a dream...but not really" I would have prefered some more description here. I also think you should have tied in the new neighbor part more. Now that I'm finished attacking that: The repetion of "sweet bed" was very strong, repetion in scary stories can make a story so much scarier. I think it might take me a little bit longer to fall asleep tonight, good job!

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