What would you do?

Entering the dark house, thirteen year old Loni paused at the door, listening for sounds to let her know if anyone else was home. Not hearing anything, she headed for the stairs to go up to her room. At the foot of the stairs her ten year old sister Mia was waiting for her.1

“He’s drunk again.” 2

Loni knew without question who Mia was referring to. Their father. “Where is he?” she asked Mia while shrugging her school bag off of her back.3

“He’s over Jack’s playing cards. He should be home soon.”4

“Where’s Momma?”5

“Passed out in their room. From all the bottles in the kitchen, I doubt if she will be waking up any time soon. Maybe good ole Pops will be so drunk when he comes home that he will pass out too. Or at least drunk enough that if he tries anything again, we can fight him off.”6

“Go throw some things that you need into your back bag. We’re getting out of here.”7

“Where are we going?” Mia stood up from the bottom stair where she was sitting, looking up at her sister.8

“Away from here. Just pack what you need and can carry. Nothing more.”9

“They will be pissed if we leave and don’t clean the house.”10

“Let them. Now Go.”11

Loni watched her sister run up the stairs before moving quietly down the hall towards her parents room. It was Friday and the first of the month. Their father was paid last night and Loni was hoping it was with this money that they used for their drinks, and not the welfare money. 12

Quietly moving into the room, Loni’s eyes adjusted to the darkness. She could make out her mother’s figure sprawl across the bed in a seemingly lifeless heap. Searching the room, she quickly found her mothers purse, and once opening it, she drew out the wallet. Counting the money she found inside, she stuffed the $75 into her jeans pockets. She dug around some more and found her mother’s welfare card at the bottom of the bag. She knew that her mother hadn’t used the card yet today for it to be in the bottom of the bag and not in the wallet. She grabbed the card, placed it into her jeans pocket, and threw the purse down onto the floor. Looking around the room and the bureau, she found a few more bills and change and grabbed those. She took one last look at her mother before leaving the room.13

Up in her room, Loni emptied her school bag onto the bed and began grabbing some clothes from her closet. Tossing her clothes into the bag, she moved to her dresser and took the doll from the top. Even though she was too old to play with dolls, she kept this one. It was a gift from her grandfather. Holding the doll close, she closed her eyes and recall the day he had given it to her. Tears fell from her eyes as she remembered her grandfather handing her the doll and telling her he was dying from cancer. Her grandfather had been the only one to ever listen to her, be there for her and his death was taking away the only person to ever care. 14

Lying the doll carefully on top of the clothes in her bag, she zipped the bag up and left the room in search of Mia.15

At the ATM machine next to the bus station, Loni swiped the welfare card through, taking out all of her mother’s money. With Mia following, she went into the bus station to buy two tickets out of town. She didn’t care where, she just needed to get herself and her sister out of the way of their parents.16

After getting off the bus in Los Angeles, Loni and Mia took their bags and entered the building. The place was huge and crowded and unsure what to do now that they were here, they went to the food court for some breakfast. They had been on the bus all night and without buying any food and were hungry. They both ordered cold cereal and sat looking at the sight around them. Across the room Loni noticed a man watching them. Realizing that Loni noticed him, the man got up and walked over to them, introducing himself as Nick. Without asking, he sat across from Loni and called the waitress over to the table, ordering the three of them cheeseburgers and soda. 17

“So are you girls here visiting relatives for the summer?’ Nick asked them while studying Loni’s looks. Loni knew that he was checking her out and she also knew that she looked older then her thirteen years. People were always telling her she could pass for sixteen. And with makeup she guess she could look even older.18

Trying to sound older and as if she wasn’t scared, Loni answered. “No, we just decided we needed a vacation.” She was hoping he would think she was older then she was and would believed old enough to take off on her own with her sister for a fun trip.19

“So where are you two heading?”20

“I haven’t decided yet. We just wanted some fun for Mia’s vacation this summer. We are tired of doing the same old thing every year.”21

Looking hard into Loni’s eyes, it wasn’t hard for Nick to figure out that they were running away from something. While he didn’t know their story, he could guess as he sees girls every day here just like them. Abuse, not enough money, time and love, it was all the same story at the end and the results were the same. Girls coming in from all over the country and waiting for someone to love them and pick them up, easy targets and just perfect for Nick. This was how he got the girls to agree to work for him on the streets, for his love, they supported him. And with a little bit of charm and coaxing, he imagine that he would have these two out there as well. Flashing them a big grin, he sat back to eat and started to play the game. These two, so young, innocent and fresh would earn him a lot of money. All it would take was the right words, time and money. But first, he would work on convincing them that they could come and stay with him since he was sure they had no other place to go and were scared.22

Eighteen year old Loni took her hair out of the ponytail and sat down before the dresser mirror. Looking through the mirror, she watched Nick on the bed as he tied the rubber strip around his arm. God she was so tired of all of this. For five years she has been working the streets to support them and her sister. Every night she would go out at dusk and wouldn’t get back home till the sun rose. Every night and for what? They had nothing to show for it. No money saved up, no plans on changing things or improving their lives and she didn’t see any end in sight. She was tired. Just down right tired and feeling older then her years. She let out a sigh, closed her eyes and rubbed her temples with her fingers. “I am thinking about quitting.” She said to Nick.23

“You can’t quit, we need the money baby. You know this.” Nick barely glanced up at her as he was busy concentrating on the drugs that was running through his veins. 24

“You need to get a job. Why should I bust my ass every night, sleep with all the creeps just so you can get high on the money? Where’s the better life you keep dangling in front of me? It’s all going into your damn arms. I’m tired of this shit.”25

“I’m tired of this same old fight. You work for me so the money is mine to do with as I please. And in case you haven’t noticed, I do not use all the money on drugs.  How do you think we support your sister? Keep her in school? And at her age she should be working as well. Yes, maybe it is time for her to get out there on the streets to start earning her way, instead of sponging off us.”26

“You keep my sister out of this. Don’t you even dare think of  turning her out. She’s a smart kid and will make something out of herself, not have to put up with losers like you.”27

Nick got up and went to her. Grabbing her by her hair, he jerked her head backwards so that she was looking up at him. “Loser? You are nothing more then a slut who will do as she is told. While you are out tonight, I just might put your sister to work and there’s nothing, and I do mean nothing that you will do or say.” Smacking her hard across the face, he turned from her. 28

Jumping up from her chair, Loni ran towards him, grabbing him by the back of his shirt and jerked hard trying to get him to turn him around facing her. Out of frustration, she started pounding him on his back with her fists. Turning to her, Nick snarled as he grabbed her arms. “Listen to me bitch, you will do as I tell you. Now get ready to take your ass back out there and fuck anyone and anything you have to to earn some more money.” Slapping her once more, he watched as she stumbled under his blow, falling back onto the bed. “Yes, that is where you belong, the only thing you are good for. On a bed, fucking your brains out.” He turned and left the room. Loni got up and went back to her dressing table and began to cover the mark on her face with make up. Most johns didn’t like marks on the body they were using, and that was all she was, a body.29

Walking back towards their apartment early the next morning, Loni noticed the police cars lined up on the street. They were parked in front of her apartment building. She had worried about Mia the whole night while out and had even tried calling her a few times to check up on her. The night had been busy and she had wanted to tell her sister to try and pack her things because she had had enough and was going to try and get away today while Nick was sleeping off another night of drugging and boozing and most likely whoring. 30

One of the neighbors, seeing her, ran towards her and grabbed her arm. “Loni, you can’t go over there.”31

“What’s going on? What happened?” 32

Loni tried to pull herself out of the arms. 33

“Loni, its Mia.”34

Loni stopped struggling. “What?”35

“It’s Mia, Loni. Nick tried to put her out with me last night. They got into a fight and he left. Two hours ago, he came back, all stoned out and started on her again. I tried to pull him off of her but couldn’t. when she kept refusing, he stabbed her.”36

“Where is she? What hospital did they take her to?”37

“She’s not in a hospital Loni. He killed her. He kept stabbing her. He wouldn’t stop. Some of the other girls from the building tried to help me, he was too strong, too high, we couldn’t stop him. I’m sorry Loni, we tried, we really tried to stop him.”38

Loni pulled away. Stepping back from her neighbor and friend, she turned away and started walking. She didn’t know or even care where she was going. She just had to get away. He killed her sister, her only true friend. Mia was her only reason for going on and he took her away from her. Refusing to cry, Loni stumbled down the sidewalk. Placing a hand over her stomach protectively, she knew she had another reason to go on, she didn’t know how she would do it, make it, but she had her unborn baby to think of now. Maybe this child will find a better life, but till the baby was able to, she was the one who had to find a way to make it possible.39

At yet another party, dancing for the faceless men, Loni noticed Greg watching her. She remembered him from the old days, the days of school, the days of her mother’s drunken rages and her father’s abuse, not much has changed since then. She was older now, the names were different and faces weren’t the same, but the abuse and rages were still being played, only now she was being paid for it. Finishing up her dance, she grabbed her cigarettes and started for the door. She was not really in the mood to take a customer home tonight. She just wanted out of the party and be back home with her son. He was five and with a sitter, he was with a sitter every night but for some reason she just wanted to be with him. Greg came up to her and catching her arms, he drew her outside. 40

“What are you doing here? Why are you here dancing for these fools?”41

“Hello to you too.”42

“ What’s going on? Last I saw you, we were in school, then the next day you were gone and no one knew where you were. They said you had ran away with your kid sister.”43

“We had to leave. No choice. What’s it to you?” Loni was tired and wanted to get away from him. Just let her go home. She didn’t want to explain her life to this guy. They were friends back then, but that was years ago, and from the looks of him, all deck out in the clothes that she could tell were expensive, he wouldn’t understand. It looked like he had made it, would never understand the struggles of her life and she wasn’t about to justify herself to him.44

“Nothing to me, just wondering what was going on that I would see you here selling yourself with no pride to the highest bidder. So how much does it take to get your attention?”45

“No pride, what do you know about me? We were kids back then, grown now and you don’t know a damn thing so don’t stand there all superior and looking down on me.”46

“I know that this is crazy, what you are doing. I know that at one time you were strong and was going to take the world by a storm, now seems you are broken down and the world has taken you.”47

“You don’t know a damn thing. This is my job ok? I have a son to feed and in case you haven’t heard, it’s not easy being a single parent these days. It takes money, and this is the only way I can get the money.”48

“Save that crap. Women every day are raising their kids on their own. They do so by working at real jobs, not by dancing and sleeping with just anyone. Hell my mother raised us on her own and she did so by working. She didn’t rely on anyone else and sure in the hell didn’t take her clothes off. She had pride in herself and her family. Why don’t you try and give that to yourself and your son?”49

“Right, my life is so disgusting. My job is a disgrace and so that gives you the right to stand there all high and mighty and judge me. You don’t even know me or the things I have been through, but you are so much better then me. Look I ran away all those years ago to protect myself and my sister. Did you know that? Did you know that my mother was nothing but a drunk and my father, not only a drunk but also trying to rape us when ever he drank? Do you know what it is like fighting your own father to get him off of you? Yes, you can stand there in judgment, but what I’m doing is paying my bills and feeding my child. I am not hurting anyone, just making a living. Look in that room. What do you see? A party, a fucking party, one like so many others I have entertained at. Look at the dancers. Do you think if we could do something else we would be here dancing for you fools? This is all a good time for you, but for us, this is our life, our living. And if you are so high and mighty and able to look down upon us lowly dancers, can’t figure us out, then what are you doing here? After all if it wasn’t for guys like you, willing to pay us to dance for you, to bow down before you, to fuck you, then there wouldn’t be a us. So see, you make the demands and we do the supplying, you are no better then I am.” In anger, Loni turned and walked away, leaving Greg standing there alone as she went to the bus stop. She was going home to her son, taking the night off, tomorrow night was another party and another way to make money, but tonight she just wanted to feel her son in her arms, not a stranger. 50