The Coming of Memories/Ch7

Ch. 7: Receivers1

I woke up the next morning thinking that tomorrow I would go to Andrew Jackson Middle School to see some of Jenny’s old teachers. This is well needed. The old atmosphere, the old location, the experience of middle school, which were Jenny’s favorite years of school.2

Thinking that I have told everyone that I can think of what Jenny needed them to know, I’m lost for things to do with the day. It had stormed all last night, I figured it was because of my actions. I was going to make sure that what had happened last night would not happen again. Aiden was not the one who needed it.3

And, I had broken another rule by allowing it to happen. Then, I was positive that he wasn’t the one who rightfully required it. Yet, I still allowed him to kiss me. I will suffer the consequences of that action – which was, ultimately, taking more to find who needed Jenny. And I wasn’t supposed to take my time in doing this.4

I drew a lot of memories from attending Jenny’s high school yesterday, and admitted that it was one of the best things that I’d done since I had gone to Amanda’s and inspected her trampoline. Only, I got a lot more out of the school because it was so much larger and full of much more people than Amanda’s trampoline was.5

The list of potential, “receivers,” as I have chosen to call them – meaning the ones whom might need Jenny – was growing larger, especially after yesterday’s events at school. More happened than I reported. Many people might get the wrong idea about her high school, and begin thinking that every day was exactly like the one I experienced. But this is not true. Her struggles were much more than mine, which I had hardly any. Her teachers were rough, and her assignments a little challenging. The people crowding the school seemed to be one of two people: the kind of people who learned to love eventually, which, that school contained about forty-five percent of the attendees were; or the kind of people who learned to deal with hate in their heart, which were the remaining fifty-five percent. I automatically omitted the people with hate in their heart as potential receivers – for now, anyway.6

But, it seemed to be unchallenging if the person was attending her high school. Shouldn’t there be something different for her? That was not what she wanted; I could feel it. She did not want someone to need her from her school – she had not needed them… so why tell herself that they need her?7

This is my reasoning, at least. I would hope that the person who ended up as the receiver knew what was going to happen. I knew perfectly well, and remembering it only made me more feverish to finish the job.8

I stop for gas early that morning. I grab a newspaper, curiously wondering if something might be inside that could help me. I take my wallet from my pocket, and realize that the amount of money had grown larger than what it was last night. Grinning, I take out the sufficient amount of cash and hand it to the gas station cashier. I hope that the money keeps coming.9

Once back inside my car, I try to think of anything else that I would need. I hoped that Aiden would not come to the Nevall’s house, for I don’t know what it’d look like if he did. And the funeral was also the day after tomorrow. Sounds like my schedule is full for the next two days. Nothing to do, really, until tomorrow. I return to my spot outside of Charleston where I have been sleeping and read the newspaper.10

Articles of business, comics, ads, and classifieds were all that I found. Not sure of what to do now, for I had spent three hours looking through the newspaper’s every page, I sighed and began thinking.11

Since I had nothing else to do, I would show up at school at lunch. It was almost time for lunch, as well. I hurried to get there in time, and found Aiden in the Baker Building at Nitro High right after second block was over.12

“I didn’t see you earlier,” Aiden said, a look of curiosity on his face. “A lot of people saw us last night.” He grinned wildly. I tried to contain myself, for I felt like slapping him for making me stay here longer. But I realized then that it still wasn’t his fault.13

“I just got here,” I confessed, “I slept in late.”14

We talked for a while, and Aiden asked if we could just hang out during lunch this time. Maybe even in my car.15

“Do you like my car, or do you like me?” I asked suddenly, while walking to the Library parking lot that I had been at yesterday. I had been glancing at the sky, which had no clouds to behold.16

“I don’t know, it’s kind of tough to decide.” Aiden teased.17

“What does Tabitha think of this?” I asked him.18

“Do you mean, me spending time with you?”19

“Yes.” I confirmed.20

“I’m not sure, but I can tell she doesn’t like it too well. She still likes you, says you’re sweet. But I know better.” We reached my car.21

“I think we shouldn’t spend so much time together.” I told him, my eyes still fixed to the cloudless sky. He asked why, and I reminded him that I cared about Tabitha, as well.22

“Don’t let her get in the way of what might be a relationship with us, Jenny.” Aiden pleaded. But I had already made up my mind. I had no use left of this boy.23

I got in my car, told him that I was sorry, and drove off, thinking that it was not such a good idea to come after all.24

After my escapade at Nitro, I decided that I might as well go shopping somewhere. I wasn’t really in the mood, but I figured that as long as I had the money I’d spend it to try and make me happy and continue to give me hope.25

I ended up purchasing a laptop from Wal-Mart. Once back in my car, armed with at least twenty batteries, I played around on my new computer for a while before I finally got an idea. Check her e-mail.26

I went to the proper addresses, typed in the proper passwords, and waited for the e-mail messages to load. I read all that I could, and found that a lot of people that she talked to online were wondering where she was. After checking her e-mail, I thought that I’d had enough playing around with a computer for one day. Even just reading the e-mails cleared my mind for what I needed to do; though I was going to have to wait a very long time before I could succeed.27

I got a terrible feeling after driving around Charleston for a few hours. I was making myself better acquainted with the town and its streets. I felt, though, as if everyone knew what had happened. Maybe Tom or Barbara Nevall called the school and asked they announce her death? They never did that sort of thing at Nitro, though. But, there is a first time for everything. I decided that to make sure things were safe at school, around people from there and everywhere else, I went back to the Nevall’s to ask them about it.28

When Barbara answered the door, I didn’t waste any of her time. “Have you contacted Nitro and told them about what happened to Jenny?”29

“Yes, I did just about thirty minutes ago, actually. I don’t know what they’re going to do with the information. What are you doing out of school?” Barbara asks me. I look back at my Grand Prix, which Barbara was staring at.30

I turn to say, “I don’t have a third block. Well, I do, but it’s Yearbook. Not important.” I say, making it up impressively rapidly. I thank her for her time, and announce that I have to get back to school before fourth block. She nods, and I thank her again.31

Once I jumped into the driver's seat of my Grand Prix, I started crying.32

Surely by now the word had spread across Nitro High School that Jenny Nevall was dead. I drove past the road towards the school one last time, and felt the uproarious emotions from people who had hardly known her. They began asking themselves why they had treated her the way they had, or why they hadn’t bothered to talk to her when they had the chance to. Many people still felt as if they didn’t really lose someone – but then, when someone who was just around you for even the shortest period of time suddenly dies, you do begin questioning yourself as to what happened.33

I could tell that people who heard that she died on Saturday would definitely think they had gone insane because they had saw her either yesterday or today. I would have to enroll at the school to graduate (yet another one of Jenny’s dreams to live out), so I would have to make a lot of apologies and a lot of explanations. What I hadn’t figured out yet was how I was going to do any of this without a home, parents, or an accurate telephone number. Not to mention social-security cards or birth certificates.34

I went back to the Nevall’s at six that night. I had spent the day sullenly wondering how I was going to make everything work. Once people saw me at Nitro, they’d stare in wonder of how much I look like that quiet and shy freshman who died that one day a few weeks before summer break began. Some people would have no idea that I held the resemblance to her, for most people hadn’t noticed Jenny at school at all. Really and truly, maybe after I enrolled and after the few days that it’d take for people to accept that I was not Jenny, things would be better. People would treat me differently because they’d remember that she was gone now – but they had someone quite similar around.35

Mrs. Nevall invited me to the funeral, which was to take place the day after tomorrow. The Wake was to begin at four in the evening, then off to the burial in a cemetery somewhere in South Charleston. She had asked me to invite some of her other friends from school, as well. She handed me hand-written invitations. I could tell that the Nevall's had done a lot to prepare for the horrendous event. The date appearing on the invitations was Thursday, May 22nd, 2003. I left the Nevall’s about ten minutes later.36

I figured I should call Andrew Jackson to make sure they still would accept me to speak with the eighth grade classes in the morning. Once I had the number entered into my cell phone, from inside my Grand Prix, I thought it might be brave to say that I was Barbara – Jenny’s mom. The moment I introduced myself, the secretary stated, “I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter, Mrs. Nevall.”37

I stared into the Nevall’s garage in the direction I was facing. “Yes. I suppose she won’t be coming to A.J. tomorrow.”38

We talked for a moment about Jenny’s death – the secretary still believing that I was Jenny’s mother – and eventually hung up. I began driving out of the driveway when I thought about going to the park that I had visited with Aiden the day before.39

Once there, I booted up my laptop. I had no idea what I could do with any of Jenny’s information now. After today, everyone would know what had happened to Jenny. Staying online, I grabbed the cell phone again. I thought long and hard about calling Amanda. Then, I decided I’d call the Nevall’s and ask someone if they had contacted Amanda.40

“Hello?” Jenny’s brother, Matt, answered.41

“This is Emily, I was wondering if I could ask you another question.” I asked coyly.42

Matt sighed heavily but allowed me to ask, “Have you told her friend in Beckley about what has happened?”  And waited for a reply.43

“I don’t know. One second.” I heard a lot of different voices but couldn’t make out anything of what was being said at the Nevall’s.44

“No, Amanda does not know about Jenny.” Matt finally answered firmly.45

“Thank you. I won’t bother you again.” I hung up and immediately dialed Amanda’s phone number.46

Sandy, Amanda’s mom, answered the telephone.47

“Is Amanda around?” I asked her. Amanda replied a few minutes later. I immediately told her I was sorry for leaving so early on Sunday morning.48

“Oh, it’s fine. Do you need to come back down?” She asked. I told her no, and conveyed about what had happened with Aiden. Amanda hooted with joy once I told her.49

“You mean, he finally took you out?” She sounded very excited for me.50

“Yes, but I’m not letting it go any farther. I’ve realized a lot of things about him.” I said, not sure of what else I could say. In truth, there wasn’t anything wrong with him, and he’d make someone really happy one day. But it just wasn’t supposed to happen, and if I kept allowing it to happen, then I’d just delay myself of what I wanted the most.51

We talked for about thirty minutes longer. I figured that once Barbara called to tell Amanda what had happened, she might not believe her. I would go back to Amanda’s house to explain myself once she knew.52

I would just have to omit the part about why I am here.53

Before we hung up, Amanda asked me if I had given any more thoughts about Duke University. With this being said, many more things came to my attention.54

After hanging up, I researched more about all of the colleges that I remembered Jenny looking at just days before her accident. I realize, now, what I need to do.55

In order to go to the college of Jenny’s dreams in another three years, after graduation, I would have to lie about my entire previous test scores and all of my recent grades. I would say that I have transferred from somewhere out of state. Things were coming together, again. I would be a straight-A student, and continue being one. Then, when the time came, I would be able to grant the wish that Jenny had never thought would have ever came true.56

The remainder of the night was spent at my little sleeping place outside of Charleston, listening to Jenny’s music, reading Jenny’s e-mail, and talking to people online who claimed they knew Jenny. Of course, they didn’t know her at all – now she was a different person altogether. I meditated on how I was supposed to handle another day, especially since my own plans had been shattered because of Barbara calling Andrew Jackson and notifying them about what happened.57

I could still go by there tomorrow, only I would say that Jenny had told me about her plans to visit and I thought that it’d be fine – since their schedule had been fit to let me talk to classes. I would be known as Emily Dawson from now on, and I had to accept it. I started looking at places on the Internet where you can get birth certificates and all other types of identification that was needed for going back to school. I gave them my information through an e-mail, and told them that I had to go pick it up rather than them sending it to me through post office and mail.  I was on my way.58

But it didn’t make me particularly happy. Something was still eating my conscience. I picked up my cell phone and the piece of paper Aiden had given to me with his number on it. Slowly dialing the number, knowing that I should not do what I was doing, I waited for someone to answer.59

“Hello?” A female voice asked.60

“Is Aiden home?” I asked timidly.61

“May I ask who is calling?” she asked.62

I thought quickly. “Brittney.” I replied.63

Moments later, I heard his voice say hello to me. “Did you hear about Jenny?” he asked quietly.64

“Yes… but I don’t understand it.” I told him. I was feeling guilty about acting as Brittney.65

“The teachers all said she died on Saturday. I don’t understand it, either. She was here today, even.” Aiden sighed and made a cough-like noise. He never asked me how I found his phone number.66

“Do you think she is really dead? What if something else happened today, and her parents just had to cover something up?” He asked suspiciously.67

“I don’t know, Aiden.” I said quite evenly.68

“Are you doing okay?” He asked quietly.69

“I’ll get better each day. Still just shocked.” I said, trying not to smile. Even though I understood that Brittney probably would never say anything like that, I still felt like it was appropriate.70

“I’m going to try to call her parents and ask them about it. Do you think I should?”71

“No, I don’t.” I replied quickly. “Shouldn’t you give them some more time? The teachers said the funeral was on Thursday… why couldn’t you ask her parents then?”72

“You’re right.” He stated. “Are you going to the funeral?”73

“Yes.”74

“I’ll see you there. I have to go.”75

And with that, we stopped talking again. I began wondering, for the thousandth time, if he really wasn’t one of the receivers. If he wasn’t the one receiver. I almost wanted him to be, but then, I knew that it wasn’t true. I could tell, even when I kissed him. I needed to make sure I never let myself call him or talk to him after the funeral. Maybe even once in a while at school, but I would be Emily Dawson then. He wouldn’t feel the same way about Emily Dawson as he had thought about Jenny Nevall.76

Would he?77

I would find out soon enough. In three days, all of my records would be ready. I would call Nitro High in the morning and work out details. I would tell them that I’m a year older than Jenny was, this way the legal matters about my car wouldn’t be so mad. I would see if I could get it painted, so that people wouldn’t notice that I came in that same car the previous two days. People would question if I had killed her and stolen her car. I wouldn’t need that above everything else.78

I would try to attend the same church Jenny had attended for so long. I understood completely why she didn’t feel comfortable while going to church, but I would try to straighten things out.79

For a few moments after my conversation with Aiden, I wasn’t sure if I was going to like sleeping in my car every night. I would begin shopping for an apartment once I was eighteen. I don’t know how old I really am, but I know that since Jenny was fifteen when she died, I will go on to be sixteen. Why not crank it up a few months? Why not make my birthday tomorrow, so that I can be sixteen? I registered my birthday, to the information I sent to the company that will have my birth certificate in three days, for June sixteenth.80

All of the little things were coming together quite nicely, and amidst the feelings of loneliness and helplessness, I began to feel like things were going to be better for me – and, ultimately, for Jenny Nevall’s receiver, as well.81

Whoever he was.82