Rain Scene

Ana walked out of the circle of wagons quietly.  It was dark now and everyone had started getting ready to sleep.  She didn’t bother.  She knew she would lie awake all night wondering what she could have done differently.  Maybe if she had run faster or forbid her father from being noble, he would be alive.  But no, he always had to save everyone else’s life except his own.1

What was the purpose of this grand journey Westward now?  It was all her father’s idea.  He’s gone, so what does it matter if they keep going?  If they go any further, maybe they’ll all die.  Mother had already been long gone.  The dread cholera had taken her so fast.  It took her faster than it took anyone else in the wagon party—and in fact, didn’t take some people at all, they survived.  Her mother did not.2

Ana leaned against the wagon and stared into the night.  It was hard to see the stars because the sky was covered with dark clouds.  She felt a drop of rain fall to her shoulder.  She felt another on her head and on her face and on her hand.  She screamed angrily into the sky, her eyes maddened with distress and red in color.  “Let me cry!  Why do you never let me cry!”  She felt her face frantically below her eyes to check for tears.  “Let me mourn!”  Her face was still dry.  She sank to the dirt and momentarily thought of rubbing it all in her eyes.  She began to shake.  Frustration took over her body and she shivered, waiting for the tears to come.3

She got up slowly and the rain began to fall faster and harder.  She held her head up and let the water drain down her face.  She felt a hand on her shoulder and move down her arm, turning her around to face the person the hand belonged to.  Big green eyes stared sadly at her watered down figure.  “He’s crying for you.”4

She wasn’t sure if she dared shun kind words or not.  She wasn’t even sure of how to run away anymore. “He doesn’t let me feel pain....”5

“Only because you create plenty of it on your own.”6

“Are these the words you say to every girl mourning her father?”7

“No, just to every girl living in the past and side-stepping the present.  Just to every girl who thinks crying is a privilege or a right to those who mourn.  Just to every girl who still talks to her dead brother as if he never went away at all.”8

“You have never heard me talk to him!  How would you know?”9

“Everyone hears it!  Everyone knows!  Everyone has ideas of how it happened.”10

“Do not play games with me!  Everyone already knows my brother died of scarlet fever.  Ask Austin!  Ask Amy!  This isn’t about him–it’s about my father!”11

“Maybe it is...but someday...you’ll have to come clean about your past—then maybe...you can start dwelling with the living.”12

“I don’t know how!”  She screamed to Cory during the thunder clapping.  “No one will teach me how!”13

She bent down and looked into the puddle of water formed in the now thick mud.  Her eyes steamed and burned and finally drawing her hand from her face—as if she could feel the difference between rain and tears, she cried.14

“I’m crying....” she said meekly.  Cory stared at her expressionlessly.  She stood up awkwardly and aware for the first time of her vulnerability.  Cory stepped toward her, his shoes sinking into the mud and sticking to his feet as he lifted them to walk.15

“It’ll be ok, Ana.”  He was now standing in front of her.  He grabbed her hand.  “It’s going to be ok.”16

Cory looked up and was blinded by the water falling down harder than it was moments ago.  He gripped Ana’s wet hand harder, he somehow felt it slipping away from him even though she hadn’t moved.  He looked down at her and she was now looking at him with a vague familiarity.  “Ana, I...”17

His thoughts stopped and he wrapped her in an embracing kiss.  It seemed to last forever but just a few seconds later Ana pulled away shyly and seemingly shocked.  She looked around nervously and tugged at her wet hair.  18

“We should get back in the circle,” she said, “it’s getting wet out here....”19

“Good idea.” Cory said softly.  These were the first words out of her mouth that made sense all day—maybe even all the time he had known her.  He vowed that he would teach Ana how to live and stop dwelling in her past.  He watched her a few steps ahead of him and he looked into the sky as if saying a prayer and trudged onward into the night.  Just as he entered the circle of wagons, the clouds cleared and he saw another shooting star fall down.20