Tout Que J'ai Besion Est Vous 44

Did you really want this?…….FUCK YES1

We’re you willing to be with him…forever? There is no one else in this world you’d be more willing to.2

Did you really trust him enough? You trust him with your heart3

What should you say? 4

Your vocal chords were cut when you collapsed to your feet next to him. Your eyes tears up.5

*Yes. I will. I love you so much.* you replied. Gerard laughed and pulled out a ring and slipping the thing onto your finger. You stared at the fire of the diamond. 6

*Gee…Does your mom know?* you asked laughing7

*Of course she is. She’s the one who came with me to the bank.*8

*Why did you go to the bank?*9

*We got the ring out of a safety deposit box.*10

*You bought it before yesterday?*11

*Before I was born. It was Helena’s Engagement ring. * you threw your arms around his neck.12

*Helena’s….* you broke down sobbing.13

*Does my father know?*14

*That’s why I came inside… I asked him for his blessing. And then asked him if he’d walk you down the aisle to me.*15

*You’re not joking are you?* you thought this was all a hoax. Or that you’d wake up one day and  realize that you were still on the street and never had enough money to buy the warped tour ticket. 16

*Why would I ever joke about something like this to you? I love you. I want to be with you forever. I want children. Tout Que J’ai Besion Est Vous.*17

*W ill you ever tell me what that means?*  18

*Soon Enough. How many months should we plan the wedding for.*19

*I don’t know. When should we?*20

*In 2 months. As soon as possible I can’t stand knowing that you aren’t completely mine yet.* Gerard laughed.21

*The chocolate that you bought must have gone to your brain.* you laughed.22

*Maybe. I bought at least 12 bags of them! Ate an entire one before you woke up finally!* you pushed Gerard over. 23

*You’ve had this whole thing planned out…* you laughed while he chased you around the house.24

*Ever since you said you’d be my girlfriend!! GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE WEASEL!!!*25

Gerard finally caught you making you both fall on the couch for a safe landing. He tickled you until you nearly peed on your pants.26

*I’m going to get some coffee.* Mikey said holding a cup of coffee.27

*Why, you have coffee.*28

*IS IT MY FAULT FOR WANTING TO SPEND 6 BUCKS FOR A URINE SAMPLE SIZE CUP OF Coffee!?*29

*I WANNA GO.* You Screamed pushing Gerard off of you30

*I don’t have any money.* You said31

*neither do I.* Gerard said 32

*Mr. Fiancé pay for you’re fiancée!* Mikey laughed.33

You all went to the coffee shop no one really recognizing Gerard or Mikey. Which, you guessed, was a good thing.34

*I want a red and black wedding.* You said smiling at Gerard. Who mouthed. ‘Ditto’ you both laughed and almost drooled when the coffee was delivered to the table. You all sat there. Gerard kissed you.35

*I’m going to go smoke a cigarette.*36

*I thought you quit. Cold turkey.* you asked looking at him from under a pair of his big lens shades.37

*I lied.* Gerard grinned. You just rolled your eyes and Gerard went outside.38

*Sometimes I don’t understand Gerard.* you said leaning your head into your hands. 39

*Gee. Is a puzzle. I’m going to go smoke too.* Mikey said standing up40

*Did you bring your inhaler?*41

*Have I forgotten how to breathe?*42

*Have you?* you watched Mikey feel his pockets for the inhaler. 43

* I guess I have forgotten how to breathe.* he laughed and sat back down44

*I picked it up off the floor.* you said taking the inhaler out of your pocket and sliding it across the table. You laughed and he took it outside alternating a drag of the cigarette to a drag of the inhaler. Come to think of it. Gerard had smoked the entire tie you were here. But never around you. Oh well. You sat and sipped more coffee. 45

-46

_47

-48

Is that what it would have been like if you were engaged? Would you be happy? Would you be able to think the same.49

*Cassie?.. Cassie say something. You’re making me feel like an idiot.* you blinked for a few minutes. Blank and not really thinking of anything. Getting married would change your life just as much as a child would. But was it for the best? Sure you had plenty of dreams about this day. About him asking you to marry him about you saying yes and having the perfect lives together, and the perfect children and the perfect home and honeymoon. but nothing is ever perfect...was that a sign that getting married would be a disaster? what if you had another miscarriage?  what if you and Gerard had marriage problems? Would you be able to deal with that? would you wake every night and feel like you were in a padded box and no matter how loud you screamed, no one would here you? Maybe you were thinking too far ahead. you brought your thoughts back tot he present. were you ready to give your mind and heart and body to him? were you willing to fight with him and then be willing to make up afterwards? what if Gerard cheated on you? what would you do? damn,....again you went too far ahead. Marriage to Gerard. Were you ready for that? You looked down at Gerard and bit your bottom lip. and answered your question.50

*No.* you stepped backwards turning completely away from him and back into the basement.51