He pulled the car over to the side of the road, put it into park and got out. The grass was wet underneath his feet, but he would never be able to tell that through his shoes.1
A barrier of trees guarding his destination was only a few hundred paces away. The crunches of the twigs underneath his feet meshed with the muffling sound of bending grass and squelching mud. His thoughts, though, remained upon the situation at hand.2
Passing in between the trees, he noticed the creek. It's slow, trickling beauty made the barren trees and cold air even more desperate. It was a depressing area, and a great one for his mind to begin and end it's internal journey.3
"I'm sick of this. Everything is always so...upsetting. And it's not always me; they're not always my problems." His thoughts ran like these for monthes, and they resurfaced again as he watched the creek push its neverending water down a neverending path.4
"Nothing more than a drop in this," as he compared himself. "One drop will never be missed. A BUCKETFUL won't be. It'd be easier to just...dry myself up, evaporate into nothing."5
"I can't handle these things. I know why I'm always upset. Seeing my friends upset hurts me internally. I don't want them to be hurt, because there is nothing I can do. And having them hide it is worse, I mean, I find out eventually and become even more crushed."6
Taking the gun out of his pocket, he put it against his head and stepped into the cold water.7
"I meant what I said. I'd rather see everyone happy and me forever hurt, than me happy and them all hurting."8
Pressure upon the trigger flowed througout his body, but he stopped just before there was enough to make fall the hammer.9
"No...I can't give them any more pain."10
Author notes
Take this as you like. It's not as good as my normal stories, but like I said, take it as you will.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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I like it. I'm glad he decided not to
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I'm probably looking too far into this, but the first paragraph really struck me as a deep metaphor.
Paragraph 3, sentence 2: "It's" is used in the context of a possessive, and therefore doesn't need the apostrophe. You do it again in the last sentence of that paragraph. Yes, yes, I am a Grammar Nazi! Sue me
Paragraph four: "monthes" -> "months"
I like it. I like the slight metaphor traced throughout it, I like the unexpected decision at the end, and I like the way it's put together. You're right, you've done better, but this isn't bad at all. ^^ -
It was good, just a little bland. Was there a metaphor for the creek? I percieved it as his never ending pain, and the trickling could also mean his friends' blood. Like he's standing in his friends' blood. It was good. Good job.
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