Smoke rose from the ship’s wood, burning like a wild brush fire. The captain screamed orders as the crew hustled around trying to put out the fire. A little girl spanned, was knocked out of the way, pushed and shoved around as everyone ran around when the captain pulled her next to him. “Stay beside me,” He said with a firm tone and continued giving orders throughout the ship. 1
The fire spread to the cabin doors below when the bandits who had caused their ship to burn appeared. Out of the darkness of the night and the thickness of the smoke, they came with guns, swords and knives. Stealing lives with the cruelty of a mad lion, without so much as a second thought. One became many; an entire crew had streamed onto the boat, running their swords through the ship members, blasting their bullets from their guns through their heads, creating an awful mess on the floor. “PIRATES!” A man screamed.2
The girl clutched the captain’s leg tightly as a pirate with a sword stepped towards them. The captain pushed her behind him and withdrew his sword. “Leave my ship,” He said, fire in his eyes and his sword pointed at the pirate. He chuckled and in the light of the fire, the girl saw a glimpse of the pirate’s evil blood red eyes.3
The pirate drew a gun and pointed it at the captain. “No,” He said with a mocking tone then with three loud bangs, the captain fell onto his knees, bloody and full of holes. The girl screamed in horror as he fell then she looked at him with the gun and sword in his hand. “Come here child...” The girl shook her head and looked around; more men were coming after her. More crew members screamed with pain and agony, crying out to the girl.4
“ODESSA! GO! HURRY!” They would scream then be silent. The dark pirate in front of the girl named Odessa, stepped towards her, chuckling slightly, pointing his gun at her when he fell on his face. A shipman rushed to her and whispered, “You must climb down and get away from here!” Before the shipmate could say anything more, he fell onto his back lifeless. Odessa screamed again and climbed onto the banister then looked into the dark water with fear glowing in her.5
“Where do you think you’re goin!?” Another pirate yelled running up to the deck when she jumped into the brisk, cold water. She swam as hard as she could through the cold water, but still she felt as if she was accomplishing nothing. She was heading towards a piece of wood she saw when a blistering pain banged into her arm, she looked at it and saw blood dripping down. “That’s right! Swim away gal!”6
The pirate behind her had been aiming at her since she had jumped off, but only once did they successfully hit her. She cried slightly until she reached the piece of wood. A pirate laughed and aimed her again, aiming at her head when his captain pulled his gun away. “No, just let her drift, she’ll feed the sharks,” He laughed as they got off of the burning ship.7
Odessa looked behind her and watched the ship sink then the pirate ship appeared, coal black, a pirate skull on the sails and lanterns all over shining the thick black paint that covered the entire ship with red letters spelling out “Storm Cloud.”8
“NO!” Odessa screamed and sat up in her sand bed. She looked around, breathing heavily then sighed. “Just a dream....” She looked around again at the rock that surrounded her and laughed. “Frelser? Where are you, you dog!?” Out of the cave opening appeared a cream dog with brownish gray ears and muzzle. “There you are you silly goose!” Odessa stood up and stretched.9
Frelser barked and wagged his tail, walking down to her. “I’m fine Frelser, now come on, let’s get ourselves some fish,” She says smiling.10
The fire spread to the cabin doors below when the bandits who had caused their ship to burn appeared. Out of the darkness of the night and the thickness of the smoke, they came with guns, swords and knives. Stealing lives with the cruelty of a mad lion, without so much as a second thought. One became many; an entire crew had streamed onto the boat, running their swords through the ship members, blasting their bullets from their guns through their heads, creating an awful mess on the floor. “PIRATES!” A man screamed.2
The girl clutched the captain’s leg tightly as a pirate with a sword stepped towards them. The captain pushed her behind him and withdrew his sword. “Leave my ship,” He said, fire in his eyes and his sword pointed at the pirate. He chuckled and in the light of the fire, the girl saw a glimpse of the pirate’s evil blood red eyes.3
The pirate drew a gun and pointed it at the captain. “No,” He said with a mocking tone then with three loud bangs, the captain fell onto his knees, bloody and full of holes. The girl screamed in horror as he fell then she looked at him with the gun and sword in his hand. “Come here child...” The girl shook her head and looked around; more men were coming after her. More crew members screamed with pain and agony, crying out to the girl.4
“ODESSA! GO! HURRY!” They would scream then be silent. The dark pirate in front of the girl named Odessa, stepped towards her, chuckling slightly, pointing his gun at her when he fell on his face. A shipman rushed to her and whispered, “You must climb down and get away from here!” Before the shipmate could say anything more, he fell onto his back lifeless. Odessa screamed again and climbed onto the banister then looked into the dark water with fear glowing in her.5
“Where do you think you’re goin!?” Another pirate yelled running up to the deck when she jumped into the brisk, cold water. She swam as hard as she could through the cold water, but still she felt as if she was accomplishing nothing. She was heading towards a piece of wood she saw when a blistering pain banged into her arm, she looked at it and saw blood dripping down. “That’s right! Swim away gal!”6
The pirate behind her had been aiming at her since she had jumped off, but only once did they successfully hit her. She cried slightly until she reached the piece of wood. A pirate laughed and aimed her again, aiming at her head when his captain pulled his gun away. “No, just let her drift, she’ll feed the sharks,” He laughed as they got off of the burning ship.7
Odessa looked behind her and watched the ship sink then the pirate ship appeared, coal black, a pirate skull on the sails and lanterns all over shining the thick black paint that covered the entire ship with red letters spelling out “Storm Cloud.”8
“NO!” Odessa screamed and sat up in her sand bed. She looked around, breathing heavily then sighed. “Just a dream....” She looked around again at the rock that surrounded her and laughed. “Frelser? Where are you, you dog!?” Out of the cave opening appeared a cream dog with brownish gray ears and muzzle. “There you are you silly goose!” Odessa stood up and stretched.9
Frelser barked and wagged his tail, walking down to her. “I’m fine Frelser, now come on, let’s get ourselves some fish,” She says smiling.10
Author notes
I was going to continue this story but I'm not so sure that I will actually. I'm waiting to see what others say and think about the beginning. What is to happen is that another pirate washes up on the island that Odessa's on and it explains how they fight and coinside. It had a humorous side to it. Eventually it'd reveal her past and I had a twisting end to it but who knows!
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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Interesting, almost "Pirates of the Carribbean"-esque. But there was one or two spelling errors. Ibelieve you meant to say "heir to the throne", not "aire". As far as I know, aire is not a word. I must admit though, I'm curious. How did she learn words like "nonsensical" if she's been stranded on an island? Or was she an older little girl when she was stranded? I found this well written and engaging.
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WOW! I loved this, it was written amazingly well. Very, very creative. Vivid and full of life, it was as if I was actually there. You could feel the pain, the horror and fright. Amazing write.
But I have one question, who were the people who got killed? You I dentified the attackers as pirates, but you didn't clearly identify who was being attacked. Do you get what I'm saying, or am I just digging a deeper hole? haha
And the pirate skull thing is called a Jolly Roger, just FYI lol. Wonderful write though, keep up the good work.
Much Love
XoXBrittanyXoX
Edited on Mar 24, 4:47 p.m. because 'typo'.

