Appearances & Perspectives

The midnight blue van raced down the asphalt - at possibly twenty miles over the speed limit.  The only sounds in the littered car were of the wheels spinning. A conversation had been going, but it had been suffocated by the increasing heat circulating the van. 1

CJ stared out the window conspicuously. He really wanted to see if Simon was still avoiding his regretful look. CJ had been messing around, being the klutz he is, he had faked a punch, but actually struck Simon hard on the arm.2

He thought to himself as he watched the iradescent headlights and blinding yellow reflecting signs along the road. He knew all of the people in the car - except maybe Anne Marie. He was sitting on a bench seat with Simon, and behind him, scattered over the seat were Rainy, Sonya (Sonya Melony if you were crazy and techinical), Brad, Emily, and Carl. 3

He gazed at the passing trees, now, and felt a movement on his side. Sonya had put her shoes up against his side. He turned around, and saw he asleep against Brad. Brad stared at him expressionasly.  CJ turned around and rolled his eyes. 4

It was depressing to think that he didn't even consider Sonya and Brad as people anymore. They had grown into this mutant - a mutant with two heads, that was always...laying on itself. CJ felt like punching the window. 5

It was funny, he didn't even want to be with Sonya or Brad for that matter, but felt utterly...left out. He stared at the floor of the van, remembering middle school when he hung out with the two separately. He would eat lunch with Sonya, chortling most of the meal. He had had math class with Brad, and would joke around with him all hour. That seemed like years ago, long hidden behind an thick endless brick wall. 6

This year, he introduced his two world of friends, and everything clashed. He hated the kangaroo pocket in the back of the seat, like it was Bradya. No, he didn't hate them, he could never do that. He was simply frustrated by it all.7

The foot nudged CJ again, continuously. He turned around, and Bradya waved at him. He smiled and waved back, secretly jealous of their constant duet.  He stared contemptuously at the random Beauty & The Beast action figure on the floor. 8

Rainy pushed the hair out of her eyes, and stared longingly at the back of Simon's head. Like the street lights overhead, images of their love making flickered through her mind. She held back tears and fits of rage at the idea of his betrayal.9

She hated blaming him, and she refused to publicly, but she blamed him deep down. Rainy still had full faith that Simon had full intentions of blowing her off the monday after. Left high and dry, with her loss of innoeence, virginity and sense of belonging. She scowled at the back of his head and choked back tears.10

No matter how angry she tried to make herself, she couldn't stay mad. She could smell his cologne on the circulating air - or was that Carl or CJ's? No, it was Simon's. She could recognize that smell from miles. 11

She giggled at the back of Simon's collared shirt, and imagined him realizing that no one else dressed up for the musical tonight. The car swerved a little, and Rainy jolted. She scooted a little further away from Emily, and lay back staring at the ceiling.12

Carl had been nodding off and on. He had been designated to drive on the ride home from the musical. He just wanted to sleep or die. Relationship complications that not a soul in the car knew, and his father's failing health made him less responsible. He mumbled a curse at almost every passing car, and scratched his eyes often.13

He adjusted the rearview mirror, and saw the people in the backseat. He didn't know very many of them at all. In fact, Rainy, Sonya Melony, and Brad were practically strangers to him. He had had a rocky friendship with Simon, been acquainted to Emily, friends with Anne Marie, and best friends with CJ's older brother. 14

He laughed at CJ silently. He smiled fondly at his indifference of being like his brother. Carl didn't like CJ's brother that much anymore anyway. Carl had grown up, and he had not. Carl had also always been annoyed by CJ.15

CJ had been just a kid when Carl and CJ's brother were in the eighth grade. He had been annoying and talkative before. Carl had to give him credit - CJ had grown alot. He had become alot quieter and introspective. 16

Or was it Carl who had changed? He reflected on his past relationships, drug adventures, and other wrong choices. Was acting the drain to all of his problems all along?  17

Carl paused his thinking for a moment, and noticed no cars were coming. He sighed and smiled at CJ. He knew deep down that it was important for him to like CJ.  He pulled out his cellphone, and checked the time and sighed.  18

The bright light from the phone worried Simon. Simon thought that not only should Carl be in the back seat, he shouldn't hinder his poor attendance of the road by distracting his attention. Simon should be driving, or Anne Marie.19

Simon didn't want anyone to get hurt. His arm still throbbed from CJ's punch earlier, and he could tell that CJ just wanted Simon to confirm it was okay.  He didn't want to talk though (a lasting side effect from that Zoloft he finally got off of). He didn't want to start a conversation with Anne Marie or Carl.20

He stared through the front windows as if he was driving, and Carl was in his place. He stared at Anne Marie. She looked worried too. 21

On second thought, he wouldn't mind talking to Anne Marie. He loved that girl to death from her distinguishable eyebrows to her ever present smile. She had saved him from crashing and burning alot of times.22

Simon was glad that she was always there for him. He forgot the road, leaned back, and thought of starting a conversation with Anne Marie. But, there was too much of a risk of Carl talking to him.23

Carl and Simon had drifted in past year. There inevitable contempt of the other's girlfriend made things worse. He still talked to Carl, but not like they used to talk. Not like they used to be. He was angry at the fact that Carl did not offer him driving rights at the last gas station.24

He sighed and realized how stupid that idea was. Why would Carl do that? Why was he mad at him for that? Simon realized that whatever he'd think, he would always be pissed off at Carl, now and forever. He scratched his head and yawned.25

Emily imagined being on an island - like in her favorite story, Lord of The Flies. She asked herself who would turn on who? She rolled her eyes at the back of Carl's head. She certainly wasn't trusting him with the car.26

She would never say that aloud of course, but she'd secretly think it. Just like how she criticized his acting in "Death of a Salesman" behind his back, but told him he did well in person. Her eyes shifted to Rainy next to her.27

Rainy was too complicated of a person to Emily. People were easy to figure out. Emily knew that most of them talked about her behind her back, and said lots of rude things about her. Emily didn't really like people, but she loved Rainy with all of her part. Rainy and she had been through many a fight.  Rainy'd be the only one she'd trust in the car, simply because she just couldn't...single her out. Emily's mind never judged or criticized Rainy, it must be forbidden. Every piece of advice Emily gave Rainy for Mickey and Simon was sincere. Emily, she guessed, knew she'd have one loyal friend to the end. She leaned her head on Rainy's warm shoulder and yawned.  28

Sonya Melony stared at the back of CJ's head with a sigh.  She was seriously worried about what he thought of her now. Everyone thought of her and Brad as one person now, she just couldn't take it if that's the way CJ saw her.29

Sonya really cared for CJ, but she just didn't love him. She knew that's what was wrong with him. He loved her. And she loved him. Just in a friendly manner. She considered the bickering, and smoothed it over quickly - it was only natural. 30

She would approach him, but Sonya would rather joke than use confrontation. She could only confront Brad. She remembered the day she met him. He didn't remember, but they sat at lunch together, and no matter how hard she tried he wouldn't remember.31

Sonya couldn't believe that seven months ago, she was alone. She couldn't believe that they hadn't fallen in love sooner. Their actual first dialogue happened in the center of a road. She had pretended he hit her.  She had been pining for his attention for awhile.32

Sonya hadn't realized until then how much she loved him before. She could see no one else, Brad was the only one. She snuggled closer to Brad as the radio's volume increased.33

Anne Marie rolled her eyes at the music. Anne was into country music, and nobody in this car was with her. She didn't like anybody in the car anyway, well, except Carl and Simon. She assumed that none of them were worth her time, and went back to chewing her nails and staring longingly at Carl's brown eyes. Would he ever notice her with them though?34

Brad smiled at Sonya Melony on his lap. How could perfection be so close to him? He adjusted his glasses and gazed over at Emily and Rainy.35

How could have he ever liked them? He didn't even know what had attracted him to Rainy before. She was too giddy or depressed now, and it was just boring.36

CJ was always mopey and rude to Sonya and him. Deep down he wished CJ would leave them alone. Even now, he was touching her shoe, and that was enough to enrage him. He shifted so that she might move her foot off of him.  37

Brad looked over at Simon and sighed. Was everybody fucking depressed? You could tell when Simon was depressed, because he wasn't making a sex joke.  38

Brad wondered what he was doing here. He wasn't even in Drama or Thespians. Then he remembered. Who cares about everyone else? A day withou Sonya Melony would be hell!39

Rainy turned to Emily and wondered what she wouldn't do for that girl. Rainy felt...well, cool being Emily's best friend. Being best friends with the best artist in the school was important for one's ego. 40

Although, Rainy knew she'd built trust from Emily again, she didn't know if she could trust Emily. Actually, Rainy half expected their friendship to end - yet again. Rainy didn't want to get too attached. She scooted closer to Brad.41

Brad scooted closer to Sonya, who stared out the window. She searched in the grass for some end to this grueling trip. She looked over at Simon. Was he hurt? Was it her fault?42

Simon had been complaining, recently, about Brad and her. He was angry about the way that they treated CJ. There was no way they treated CJ, they just hung out. Sonya thought that Simon was being to protective. Just because CJ didn't have a girlfriend, that didn't mean Sonya had to stay free.43

Sonya Melony frowned at Simon. She was glad she was friends with him, just angry at some of his thoughts. She stared at him long and hard for five minutes, watching the lights brighten his blonde hair.  His expression was endless. 44

Sonya laughed at herself. Was this a side effect of being bi sexual in this day and age? Sonya loved Simon, and hated the way he was treated...even by herself, CJ and Brad. She loved him for being so blunt and open.45

She stretched her neck, and brought her attention to Rainy. Rainy was picking at the sticky cupholder on the back of the seat in front of her. Sonya loved Rainy, she had since they were six. She looked at Rainy's short black hair, and remembered the way it used to be - long and untended to. Sonya hadn't realized how much she missed the old Rainy.46

Rainy now was always beating herself up, and depressed. Sonya still liked her, she just wanted the same shallow relationship they had in the old days. Sonya wanted too much from Rainy. "Besides, she's grown up, and I haven't," thought Sonya Melony.  47

She closed her eyes, and hoped that she could fall asleep and leave this compact hell. 48

Whether she'd intended to or not Sonya's hand brushed Emily. Emily was half-asleep. She groaned at the site of a distance sign (thirteen miles to the next town, and it wasn't even their homecity). She gazed over at CJ. 49

CJ. They'd actually been friends since third grade. That was longer than anyone in the car. CJ was too fickle, too moved by others to be trusted with Emily's life. Last year, when Rainy and her had fought, he was taken in by the theatrics that were Rainy's convincing lies. Maybe, that's why his face was hidden behind that hair. Emily stared at CJ for awhile, half expecting him too notice.50

CJ had been subject to too much ego, and gluttony. He was a fat greedy...asshole. Emily rolled her eyes. She didn't hate CJ, she was just angry at some of the stuff he did. He was always really messy. She stared at a mustard stain on his pants. He was always gluttonous (like 500 pounds to prove it). He always had to have attention.  It was quite annoying.51

Emily frowned at her shoes. She knew that unlike other people, CJ was ashamed by his past, and would probably grow past who he is now. CJ was a good friend too (he never forgot her). Emily rubbed her eyes, and put her feet against Simon's seat.52

Simon shook a little. He assumed it'd be Rainy. She had to hate him, she just had to. Simon brushed the long hair out of his blue eyes, and stared at the back of Carl's seat. He felt terrible. How could he do that to Rainy? 53

God, he was such an asshole. Tears dripped silently from Simon's eyes when he realized it'd be better off for her if she hated him.54

Tension broke the silence.55

CJ growled and said, "Hey, Simon, are you okay?"56

"Just shut up, CJ," Simon quickly replied. His eyes stayed glued to the road.57

"Hey, Rain, d'you know what time it is?" said Emily peppily.58

"No," said Rainy simply.59

Sonya waved timidly at Brad and said, "What's up?" Brad laughed and replied, "Nothin'. I love you."60

CJ gagged on it all. Carl smiled at Anne Marie. "So, are you going to do stage manager for the Fall play?" he asked.61

"Of course," she said, wanting nothing but to hold him.62

Conversation erupted through the van again. Everybody knew exactly what they thought of each other once again, but renewed and replenished this time. Appearances and perspectives swept through each of their minds'. Every person questioning another, every person wondering. Popularity and acceptance could easily be remedied.63

The car wheels let out an ululation, and the van flipped off of a bridge into the cold water below. And, every judgement, opinion, loving memory, and problem were drowned by the bigger world. 64

The only thing left was their flacid hands reaching for help from one another. 65

The rusted metal around them concealed every hateful thought and loving memory as the paramedics counted the eight dead bodies.66

"What was he thinkin'?" asked one paramedic.67

"Some of these kids have too much on their mind to be drivin' at all," said the other.68

The paramedics put the bodies in body bags, and contacted the parents of the kids who would sit in the room, quiet for a few moments, searching the other faces, getting an idea of everything.69