Warmth of Blue

1

People have always wondered where the world ends. Some say it’s light years away and other confined minds believe that the world is just the world. It has no start or finish. ….No beginning or an end..…then… there are people who know exactly, where the world ends …and it’s just before twilight touches the sky…2

***3

The wind blew into Aila’s car sweeping her hair up to dance.  Short strawberry blonde hair swayed in every direction that the wind could carry it but Aila focused her honey colored eyes on the highway before her. She hardly glanced at the waves besides the highways cliffs. She wore a short sleeve red dress that would bunch up as she shifted in her seat every so often. It would not be long till the sun would set and darkness would step in. Maybe an hour, at the least. 4

The rustic yellow punch buggy slowly pulled to the side of the road.  She stopped at a cliff covered with grass and these little sunkists’ flowers. Also near the edge of the cliff (about fifteen feet) was a beautiful old tree. Aila reached over to the passenger seat where a small brown bag laid. Its contents consisted of a bottle of lemonade and a half eaten roll. Aila took it and a leather book from the back seat. While holding her objects in hand she reached over to open the door but instead sat there for a second or so. She then opened the door to meet an ocean scent of air. Aila stepped outside of the car and walked toward the old pine tree as the wind graceful wrapped her dress around her narrow legs. Every inch of her slender body was outlined by the wind and her red dress.  The sunkists’ flowers look up with smiles at the strawberry blonde. When she finally reached the tree she placed the bag with the book down and sat with her back up against the tree. She wrapped her arms around her legs while she looked off for a few more moments. Aila then took the book, (which ended up being a journal with a pen tucked beneath it’s pages) and got to writing. 5

*** 6

A half an hour had gone by. The sun sat on the edge of the blue horizon. Aila had finish eating the roll and drank most of the lemonade. Her pen still drew out words in the journal that she never left within that half an hour. The finally words she drew out was ‘Love Aila’ then put the black pen into the journal. She held it in her hands feeling the worn in leather. She had only had the journal for a year. Aila placed the journal carefully next to her before she stood up. Just as she did that a voice came from behind.7

“Hello.” said a mans voice behind Aila and she knew who it was with a faint smile. 8

An average size man with average looks strolled up behind Aila. The only thing that was not average about this brown haired guy in jeans and a brown button up shirt was that he had the most soft frosted blue eyes. 9

“How the hell did you find me?” greeted Aila as she stared off into the ocean hands crossed finely about her chest.  10

“Where all the poets and musicians and writers and whoever the hell else with a philosophy bone in there body go. To the edge of the world” he said with a sigh “and usually right before sunset as well. God, what a cliché Aila.”11

She turned her head to the side but not enough to look back and even see him. Aila just shrugged him off and went back to watching a huge puddle eleven feet from her.  Doyle stopped walking a foot from Aila. He did not want to get too close but sure as hell wasn’t going to get too far behind.12

“Aila.” He softly said. The wit he had disappeared and was gone for the moment “I know.”13

She did not move or speak but the wind did dance with her hair and outline her body with the red dress. 14

After a second Aila responded “No. You don’t and if you did you would have rushed back a while ago.” Anyone could tell she was chocking back tears.15

“Yeah but I asked you and you said everything was alright over the phone. You lied and I have not a clue why. So could you tell me?”16

She still did not move or speak and the wind still danced with her hair and outlined her body with the red dress.17

“Someone called me in New York and said that you weren’t coming up to move in with me. I asked why they said ‘you know why’ I said ‘ If I did I wouldn’t be talking with this ass’ they said ‘ because Aila’s sick’ I say ‘what is it? What’s wrong with her’ they said ‘ she has leukemia’ I say ‘ no you’re wrong I asked her a while back when I couldn’t come down to see her and she said she was fine’. Now they said ‘ nope she has it’ I say ‘I’m coming down’ they say ‘fine.’ We both say bye and I’m on the next flight to California to see my sick girlfriend who never told me she was sick. Someone I love and would help at the first sign of danger! So Aila why! Why didn’t you tell me! I know you just stopped going to treatments and they were working! So why? Why!” 18

At the end of this long one-sided conversation Doyle had small beads of tears streaming down his face.  Aila waited a second before responding. She made a slow turn around pushing her hair out of his face to see him.  It had been about seven months since they had seen each other face to face. Sometime around his birthday. He had gone to New York to become a filmmaker. Wanted to get a good degree to impress studios of his talents.  He never needed a degree. He was a beyond amazing filmmaker already and any studio would fight to get him.  Aila got a scholarship to a dance school in California that she had wanted to go to all her life.  They decide of a long distance relationship, it would work and did. She had just gradated from her dance school three months ago. She was planning on moving in with Doyle then everything changed. Nothing between them but it was she. It had a little to do with the fact she was sick but it was mainly all her.  Aila took a deep breath before opening her mouth, look at him, and said something that if there was a chair anywhere she would have asked him to sit down.19

***20

“It’s not fair.” Aila simple said. Before Doyle could respond, she hushed him to say she wasn’t finished. Another deep breath before another word passed her lips.21

“It’s not fair that I’m ok.” She said in whisper that Doyle almost did not hear her because of the waves crashing below.22

“What are you talking about?” he asked moving closer to her extending his arm to touch hers but she moved a step back.  It was ironic that they had been too many miles to count apart but now only a foot away did they seem so far gone. She replaces her hands across her chest again. 23

“I shouldn’t be ok.” She looked down saying this.24

Still confused and now a little frustrated Doyle put his hands on his head to calm himself down. “Why?” he said very softly wiping away stains from the tears.25

“I shouldn’t be ok because she didn’t deserved to… she was so…. It’s just not fair.”26

Aila broke out in calm tears holding her arms tighter around her then lifting her hand to her mouth. Tears fell onto the ground and her red dress staining them of cold wet glass beads. He was hesitant about going near her but Doyle was finally able to move close to her. Touch her arm, and put his arms around her. She wanted to push him but instead grabbed him and cried into his chest for a minute. He kissed her on the forehead and asked as she calm down a little, “Hon, what are you talking about? Who is she?”27

She responded in such a wounded voice it almost scared Doyle a bit.28

“When I was going to the clinic for my treatments, they put me in a support group. I thought it was ridiculously so I would only go to one meeting. I went and there was about maybe seven people I wasn’t really going to stay but...” She moved away from his chest but she still let him hold her. She looked up into the warmth of blue his eyes gave off. A cold breeze replaces that feeling. Doyle hugged her tight and she buried her head in his chest again. No tears but just looking for warmth.  After the breeze passed she continued with her anguishing story looking back up into pools of warm blue “a little girl came in. She had to be no more then seven maybe eight. Ahhh… she was in a wheelchair; the doctors said she was too weak to walk.  She just rolled... right up to me and said “Hi, I’m Tracey. What’s your name? I like your dress.” It was so simple and innocent like she wasn’t even sick…like…like she wasn’t even dying.” Aila gave out a small laugh that left her in tears. Doyle brushed them away but Aila continued in a trance just talking, but the waves tired to fight to cancel her out, yet Doyle could clearly hear.29

“I came back every meeting after that just to see her. Tracey said she was getting better at least that was what the doctors were telling her. She was so fragile and pale but had just a glow to her…just…. One meeting …I waited for Tracey but she didn’t show up. I waited and finally asked someone. They said she…she died. The person I asked just told me and walked away.  She had her whole life waiting and the doctors lying to her saying everything was ok. It’s not fair, why the hell did she die and they say I can live. What? Is some divine force picking names out of a hat of who will live and die? It’s not like I’m doing anything with my life. Tracey told me she wanted to be a doctor to help people when she grew up.  That’s something! Why! It’s not fair!!! It’s not fair.” 30

***31

Doyle tired to calm her down by saying “Its just life Aila. Life’s hard.”32

“Compared to what!” she snapped back “What!”33

“Aila” he still held her even though she tired to break away but gave up in a pointless attempt.  “You have to look at everything with a different sight. It’s hard and yes, and Tracey didn’t deserve to die or have the doctors lie to her but”34

“There are no buts!” yelled Aila punching her fists into him as her hair drastically moved into her face.  Doyle grabbed her wrists and held them enough to stop her but not enough to hurt her.  Aila knew that it was pointless fighting against him. She did not have a lot of strength for obvious reasons so she stopped and stood there in front of him. Wounded and mad and upset. He continued.35

“ Things happen for whatever twisted reason they do. No one knows why. No one will ever know why Aila. I know you came out here to say goodbye to today. About ten feet and me keep you from doing that. I’m not going to let you and Tracey sure as hell probably wouldn’t either.” 36

Those warm blue eyes had a fountain of rain pouring from them and passed his dry lips.37

“Aila you have a chance to live and it’s being flaunted in front of you. Right in your face. Please. Go back for the treatments, even…if it’s too late.” Just the thought of losing her made him pause.38

“What would have Tracey said? She would have wanted you to have gone back and get better. Be happy. Please Aila.”39

***40

He stood there with a thread left of himself. If Aila cut that he would be broken. She looked away from his torn face out into the ocean. Seagulls gulled and flew into the distance. Another cold breeze chilled her legs and danced with her red dress. She had forgotten the fact that she was by the ocean. Even when she got there. She looked around and caught Doyle off guard with her next question.41

“What is this?”42

“What is what?” he said wiping the tears away.43

“The light or glow or whatever it’s called. It’s beautiful.”  She still looked towards the ocean.44

She was very calm. Any sense of anger or sadness danced away. Doyle saw that and calm down. He hadn’t even realized that the light from the sun was almost gone. The sunset was the one thing that would die today. The only thing.45

“It’s twilight, Aila.”46

“It’s beautiful. I don’t think I can look at the sky the same way again. I guess I’ll start reaching as high as I use too as well.”47

He stared at the sky then back at Aila that still looked out into the twilight. He stroked her strawberry hair and she looked at him. He wrapped his arms around her tight as he could and she did the same. The twilight disappeared into the air as darkness stepped in and the two them just stood there with new sights and new orange sunkists’ skies.48

***49

…no beginning or an end..…then… there are people who know exactly, where the world ends …and it’s just before twilight touches the sky… but if those people wait just a few minutes longer to see the twilight touch the sky and touch their eyes… those people have no need to find where the world ends…only where it begins. 50