He smiled at me, even though I didn’t give him any money. 1
After accepting some crumpled bills from the driver of the Sears van, he strode around and walked past my hood, turning his head. He looked me straight in the eye and smiled.2
I was driving home from work, up the scenic Pacific Coast Highway through one of San Diego’s richest communities. It was Friday. The rain had stopped, but the traffic had me driving with my brakes. I felt guilty, so guilty. His dingy green poncho and stringy shoulder-length gray hair exuded poverty. 3
I’ve never really been one to give money to beggars on the street – not since that one evening in the late ‘80s when I gave my spare change to what I thought was a poor homeless soul standing in front of the pharmacy where I worked part-time as a cashier. He later came in and exchanged his nickels and dimes for a pack of cigarettes – of course he was in my line. Since that day, I have given food to street beggars – at least I know they probably won’t buy booze or cigarettes with left-over lasagna from Olive Garden – but not cash.4
So when I saw this man with his faded “Help Me” cardboard sign and dirty backpack sitting by the side of the road - a road where the average ocean-view house is worth 40 or more times my yearly salary - I didn’t look twice at him. But the driver of the van in front of me rolled down his window and offered him some money. 5
He smiled at me – a kind, forgiving smile - then went back to his post, sitting by the side of the road.6
I drove on.7
© 20068
Tanya Boutros9
Author notes
This happened on my way home today. Not sure why this guy stuck with me though...
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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I like you never used to give money to beggers, but lately I think maybe they have been through heavy shit to end up where they are and if drink or drugs gets them through the day then I guess its the way life has treated them which has put them there and if it make sit more bareable for them when who am I to judge.
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there is a reason that he smiled at you.he wasn't always where he is now,but dollar to donuts,i bet he was always a good person.you need not to feel guilty about the no money thing.it's hard to determined about the beggars' thing anyway.that smile was for you to know that Jesus lives in the hearts of the poor as well.
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Interesting. I've seen many of the 'carbon copies' of this man, and I use to give a coin or two until I was insulted and yelled at by one man when I gave him a loonie. He was shouting that I should give him more. I learned my lesson with giving someone a 'smoke', when everyone within eyeshot runs over to bum one too.
Don't feel guilty for not handing out money....hard though it may be.
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