Whitney and Penguin were up early the next morning. Whitney took Penguin into the kitchen and poured her a bowl of milk. While Penguin was enjoying her milk Whitney poured herself a bowl of cereal with milk and started having breakfast. Suddenly Penguin somehow climbed on the table and walked to Whitney's bowl. Whitney laughed as Penguin started licking the milk right from her cereal bowl. "Penguin,” Whitney said in a firm voice, "I made you your own bowl, leave my food alone. You need to lose some weight you fat little kitty" giggled Whitney. But she could not help but laugh at the chubby kitten before picking her up and setting her back on the floor. Penguin started purring and rubbing against Whitney's leg. 1
After breakfast the 2 of them went outside to see Buddy. "Good morning buddy,” shouted Whitney, as buddy came running to greet them. Whitney rubbed his big ears and they continued walking towards the barn.2
As they walked Penguin was trying so hard to keep up until Whitney picked her up and put her in her little overalls with just her head and little paws sticking out.3
When they got to the barn they stopped and watched the baby piglets rolling in the mud. "If I did that Mommy would make me take a bath Penguin" laughed Whitney. As they watched Whitney noticed that there were only three piglets in the pen. "Where is Jody" she asked the momma pig. The momma looked sad and pointed her snout towards the corner of the pen. There was Jody lying all by herself. "What’s wrong Jody? Asked Whitney. The little piglet looked so sad because she was a small piglet and the other piglets would not let her play with them. "Can she come and play with us she asked the momma pig? The momma nodded her head and Whitney bent over to pick Jody up. When she bent over Penguin fell out of her overalls and into the pen. This scared the other piglets and they started oinking very loud. Penguin got scared and kept slipping in the mud. So Whitney climbed in the pen to get Penguin and slipped in the mud and fell down. The piglets ran over because they thought Whitney was coming in to play with them. Now Whitney, Jody, Penguin and the other three piglets were rolling in the mud laughing and having a grand time, with Whitney taking turns rubbing each of their chubby little bellies.4
Suddenly she heard "Whitney! "Get out of there this instant,” her mommy yelled. "Look at you, you are a mess young lady" Mommy said as she scolded Whitney. I am sorry mommy but Penguin fell in with the piglets and I had to save her. "Always saving that kitten” said her mommy. "Come on lets get you both cleaned up and into something dry,” said Mommy.5
Once in the house they both had to climb in the tub to wash the mud off. "That was fun Penguin, until mommy caught us", said Whitney. "Maybe later we can go down to the creek if we are not in too much trouble" Whitney said to Penguin as she blew the bubbles off the kitty's face. "You are such a funny little kitty, I love you Penguin." With that she kissed Penguin on the face and finished washing before mommy came in and told her to hurry up.6
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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excellent
Thank you very much. I am new to writing stories and feel free to give me advice or editing tips on the others from this series. I really appreciate all your help! -
I got a bit confused in this story. You could use paragraphs to your advantage. Evertime someone speaks you should start a new paragraph. Also, you dont need a new pair of speech marks for every spoken sentence. For example:
"You are such a funny little kitty""I love you Penguin".
Should be
"You are such a funny little kitty. I love you Penguin."
I know its a bore, but I have taken time to write out the story again with mistakes undone. You can just copy and paste it into this story and delete your original one. It'll still be your story after all.
Whitney and Penguin were up early the next morning. Whitney took Penguin into the kitchen and poured her a bowl of milk. While Penguin was enjoying her milk Whitney poured herself a bowl of cereal with milk and started having breakfast. Suddenly Penguin somehow climbed on the table and walked to Whitney's bowl. Whitney laughed as Penguin started licking the milk right from her cereal bowl. "Penguin,” Whitney said in a firm voice, "I made you your own bowl, leave my food alone. You need to lose some weight you fat little kitty" giggled Whitney. But she could not help but laugh at the chubby kitten before picking her up and setting her back on the floor. Penguin started purring and rubbing against Whitney's leg.
After breakfast the 2 of them went outside to see Buddy. "Good morning buddy,” shouted Whitney, as buddy came running to greet them. Whitney rubbed his big ears and they continued walking towards the barn.
As they walked Penguin was trying so hard to keep up until Whitney picked her up and put her in her little overalls with just her head and little paws sticking out.
When they got to the barn they stopped and watched the baby piglets rolling in the mud. "If I did that Mommy would make me take a bath Penguin" laughed Whitney. As they watched Whitney noticed that there were only three piglets in the pen. "Where is Jody" she asked the momma pig. The momma looked sad and pointed her snout towards the corner of the pen. There was Jody lying all by herself. "What’s wrong Jody? Asked Whitney. The little piglet looked so sad because she was a small piglet and the other piglets would not let her play with them. "Can she come and play with us she asked the momma pig? The momma nodded her head and Whitney bent over to pick Jody up. When she bent over Penguin fell out of her overalls and into the pen. This scared the other piglets and they started oinking very loud. Penguin got scared and kept slipping in the mud. So Whitney climbed in the pen to get Penguin and slipped in the mud and fell down. The piglets ran over because they thought Whitney was coming in to play with them. Now Whitney, Jody, Penguin and the other three piglets were rolling in the mud laughing and having a grand time, with Whitney taking turns rubbing each of their chubby little bellies.
Suddenly she heard "Whitney! "Get out of there this instant,” her mommy yelled. "Look at you, you are a mess young lady" Mommy said as she scolded Whitney. I am sorry mommy but Penguin fell in with the piglets and I had to save her. "Always saving that kitten” said her mommy. "Come on lets get you both cleaned up and into something dry,” said Mommy.
Once in the house they both had to climb in the tub to wash the mud off. "That was fun Penguin, until mommy caught us", said Whitney. "Maybe later we can go down to the creek if we are not in too much trouble" Whitney said to Penguin as she blew the bubbles off the kitty's face. "You are such a funny little kitty, I love you Penguin." With that she kissed Penguin on the face and finished washing before mommy came in and told her to hurry up.
Please don't think I am wasting your time or doing this for my own good, I am trying to help. I know how hard it is to write a story in one go on the internet, so I think you have done an amazing job and have fantastic endurance (writing wise)!
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