"I am so excited about this retirement, John" said Sarah hugging her husband.1
"Yeah" John laughed,2
"I have a surprise for you also sweetheart..." John said turning around and grasping her hand in both of his.3
"Really...and what's that?" Sarah asked giving John an Eskimo kiss.4
John smiled and whispered, "Well, sense the kids are all gone now and I am finally retired, I thought we could live out our lifetime dream."5
"You don't mean~" Choked Sarah tears welling up in her eyes.6
"Yes...I booked us on a cruise around the world, with stops at all of the worlds historical sights." answered John.7
"Oh I love you so much, you're the greatest husband a woman could ask for......so when do we leave?" asked Sarah excited.8
"Well we can start packing right after dinner if you want." said John9
"Are you serious!? We can leave that soon?" Sarah exclaimed10
"Sure we really should let the kids know first though." John chuckled.11
After dinner Sarah was talking to her daughter on the phone, "Yeah you heard me right...we are travelling around the world....okay well I have to call your brothers now, so I love you and give my love to my grand kids, okay bye bye."12
"Well?" asked John when Sarah hung up.13
"She said she was very happy for us and she was glad we get to live our dream." replied Sarah.14
"And how was she?" asked John.15
"Oh she's doing great, Mark is watching the kids and she only has one more test to pass before she becomes an RN." said Sarah happily.16
"Fantastic!...darling I'm all packed so why don't you go ahead and go get your stuff ready and I'll contact Tim and Billy." said John handing Sarah her suitcase.17
"Alright dear...I love you." said Sarah kissing John on the cheek before going upstairs to pack. 18
Author notes
This is 313 words long
This is for my Short Story class.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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Cute, a moment in the life of kind a thing.
You have a miss spell in fifth line of dialog
Quote: John smiled and whispered, "Well, sense the kids are all gone :unquote
'Sense' should be 'since'
Though the dialog was accurate it had little suspense or anything else to hold ones interest for more than a few minutes. It came out more like an intro to something else.
I was hoping perhaps for something more.
Dennisbeginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 1, ending: 1, dialog: 4, characters: 3.

