Shaynes Addictions Entry 11

Feb. 19/06 (23:21) Shayne1

Well, this is going to be my last entry for a while. I have to focus on work and getting master ready for my trip. I'll be gone for quite a lot longer than I've ever been. It will be the ultimate test for her. I'm not leaving for another two months or so bu, I have to make sure maser is completely ready for it. Anyways, I'll give you an update on everyone before I go. Seth is obsessed with quite a few people and cannot seem to come to terms with a few of them being straight. He is somewhat maturing though. Kim still has her girlfriend wrapped around her finger. Se has focused a lot of energy on trying to ruin my life. Thus far, it has only blown back in her face. Kim doesn't realize the impact of honesty on people. She also doesn't realize how much knowledge I have about her, her life, and everything else about her. Tamar has been calling more frequently and wants to come visit. I believe she has false intentions sh isn't willing to show. Even if she doesn't find them, her sub conscience will. Jake has gone back to her hometown so I haven't talked to her in a couple on months. Apparently when she got back, she started cutting again. I feel so bad for what I said and didn't say to her wen she visited us. I hope she is well. Kitty is still slightly depressed. Everything is the usual for her. Ian has a new job offer. It's higher wages but further from home. He is still unsure about taking it. His heart is here with us. Amy is doing well. I spoke with her a bit today along with many text messages and e-mails. She's very excited about my trip there. I fear she has some doubts as I do. It will be hard to leave her side once again but I have to make a living out here for us. I might just decide to move out there when master is ready. I'll make it all work no matter how hard I have to try. I owe it to Amy and myself. We both deserve a life of joy and happiness where all our hopes and dreams come true. A world full of love, passion, and humour.2

(23:44) "Master"3

It seems as our 'group' gets older, we all drift apart. All my closest 'friends' have either moved away or we have become distanced. Our plans fail and we never renew them. It doesn't help all my rides are spontaneous so they all have plans by the time I know I can get to where they are. I've dug myself a hole and am making my bed in it. Every time I get this deep, it gets harder to climb out. It feels as if I am an android walking around. I'm programmed for failure. I have to lean to take over myself and my life to make my own destiny. Well, I'm off to bed. Good night ad sweet dreams my lovelies.4

(23:50) Shayne5

Sorry about that. Master wanted a farewell for now entry. I'm off for a fag and to work on some old/new pieces. I will write whenever I get a chance but there will not be any entries from me for a while. Take care, sweet dreams, and good night. May all you reading this have all your hopes and dreams be brought upon you in time to come. XoXoXoXoX6