desperate

[her]1

And I said to you , “ill give you a piece of red gum, if you say you love me. boy” As the wind was blowing  hair that was once blacker in my face, and mist from the ocean onto our young skin2

And we stayed mute for 20 minutes staring at the horizon that doesn’t end.  “I love you, more than you will ever know.” I muttered before I walked off.  If Delia was here she would be disappointed in the way I’m throwing myself at the boy I only see twice a year. 3

I run as fast as I can with my shoes in my hand, and my bare feet on the wet sad. I run until I can’t breath, until I have to hold my side,  until I think you want me just a little bit more, until I think I’m just a little more safe, until I can’t grasp reality because I’ m just a little too far off the edge/4

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[him]6

And you say to me as were sitting on the beach. “ill give you a piece of red gum, if you say you love me, boy” the desperate girl from anywhere but here. I stay quite hoping she realizes a red piece of gum won’t make me say “I love you.” I can see her reflection in the broken piece of glass, as the wind blows just a little too hard. It’s like the time when I kissed her in the desert, and she whispered in my ear “you live to far to love”. & all I could say was “who says this is love.” Back when her hair was shorter, brown, and less lonely.7

The time ticks, and I know its too late too need her. When we live too far too love. “ I love you, more than you will ever know” she stutters. As she grabs her shoes, and puts her grey sweater on. I don’t look at her, but I know she's not here anymore.8

As I grab my keys I notice the note. "Meet me at the pier. 3/18/06. 6 sharp.” I know I shouldn’t, but I know I won't feel right if i don't.9