After showing the correct paperwork to eachother to prove who they were and going to tell Lady Alana what was happening, Star and Steel left for the palace. Then, after traveling what seemed like an endless long journey, the palace came into veiw of the great road.Star sighed - It's not the road I mind, the road is always better than the endlesspolitics and fakery of the palace. - She knew that once in the palace she would be dressed in a tight corset dress, immpossible to breathe in let alone ride and fight. Maxi would get good rest, but be treated like an ordinary horse.1
The worst thing about the whole trip and everything else was that Maxi would say nothing about why they were being called to the palace though Star suspected that the Sheyon knew. Star had a pretty good idea of what involvement she would have in the treaty, herself, and wasn't going to feel pleasantly towards the Miztic king if he was setting up an arranged marriage between on eo f the princes and her.2
Steel she found to be an interesting person. He held to a strict code of honor then morals. He could fight like the devil and was her equal in riding, hunting, and tracking.3
In the begining of their ride she had shocked him by riding into a bandit camp to save a couple of darking children who were being tormented. He understood the need to remove bandits to protect her people but why remove the darking children?4
Darkings are sprites, two palms length long as children. They are known to cause mischeif as legendary as taking all the gold from the king's store. he didn't understand that the children were too young to be condemned for their parents crimes or have commited their own. She haad told him, "You cannot condemn for a crime not yet committed."5
For all his politeness and honor she had to wonder if he ever made friends, anyone who didn't know him would take him for an overconfident, full of himsef person, or a simpleton. The only reason she knew him to be neither was because of the feeling she sensed just outside the sheilds of her mind. On the outside he never wavered his cool calm collected persona. It was like traveling with a wall.6
She couldn't help but notice that, for a wall, he was very attractive. Always dressed in dark colors, dark brown eyes witha look of molten copper when he got angry. His shaggy black hair hung just out of his eyes. He had a body that was built for fighting. To top it off there was an endless tension between them and making him laugh through his eyes was rare. He naver smiled or laughed aloud, which was fine because she rarely did either. There was an indefinite sadness about him, the kind that marks somone who has lost somethng they truely loved.7
They were at the palace gates, which were open and they road through. A wave of people hit them coming from the stables and the palace. They were swept out of their saddles, Maxi and 'Tor taken and ushered quickly off to separate halls.8
***9
It had taken a bit of rage to get the servants convinced that he was capable of bathing and changing without help. He needed time to think. Star... - She is the strangest person I've ever known. She has a code of honor but rules it by compassion. She leaves a trail of peace or death behind her, either way it's change. She is a walking contradiction, an honest Miztic. Hell and Heaven help you if she thinks you're doing something immoral.- He felt bad for whichever of his brothers ended up with her. Of his brothers he had always been the strongest, the only one with a code of honor, and the best at fighting. - After seeing star in action I know she's my equal in fighting at least. Any of my brothers who thought they were getting a freewhoreare going to find out the hard way that she can beat them senseless. If she didn't then her Sheyon would and probably 'Tor too.10
The best match for her, in my brothersthat I can think of is Flame, my twin. Flame is more magic oriented with minor fighting ability, he's smart, he won't treat her like a lesser being for being a woman. They'll offset each other quite nicely.-11
He sighed thinking about the lady. She had white-gold hair and sky blue eyes that when grey and stormy when she was angry. She had a very tight control of her magic though he had seen it go out of control once.12
She had come around a corner and literally run into a group af gallans. It had been so unexpected to her that she had just walked into one. It had grunted in suprise and backhanded her into a tree. Suprisingly it hadn't knocked her out. She sat up before he could begin a counter attack on the gallans, and her eyes glowed a brilliant blue as pure magic streamed through her fingers. A soundless explosion rocked the forest and when he opened his eyes she was passed out on the ground with a purpling bruise spreading over her sheek. As for the Gallans... a scorched mark in the ground marked their passage to death. Lightnig he had realized then.13
Steel sighed again and went towards the door banishing his thoughts.14
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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Wonderfully Addictive
Amazing description of Steelan in the 7th paragraph. I also like Steelan's thoughts in paragraph 10. I like this chapter, but not as much as the previous two. It still looks very good though, and I'm still dying to read on.
beginning: 3, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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Muy bueno.
This is really good, the only thing that really detracts from the piece is the unintentional typos. But other than that, this is well written and makes me want more.

