But I don't want to be. I just want to run 'till my legs give up, I want to feel the wind. I am not responsible. Maybe I will ruin my future, but what bad can there be in a walk? I'd say none... And I can make up many reasons, but I won't. That's like I am defending myself.2
So I go downstairs. Nobody is there, my mother is on the telephone. Okay, this is my chance. I cross the kitchen and leave the house. Oh, wait! Perhaps the dog likes to go with me... They won't miss him, for that little hour. I get a bike out of the shed and head for the woods.3
We've got wonderful woods here, I really love them. They're on hills. And in this country there aren't much hills. I realize I am very lucky to live here. Sometimes it is boring, but I would hate living in a big city. It's so peaceful here.4
It was cold, but the sun starts to shine. I feel the tickling feeling deep inside. I'd like to sing a song, but most songs I know are not happy enough. So I just sing... About the sun, about the wind and about how I love nature. I feel no love for humans, but I feel deep affection for everything humans did not create. 5
I reach the woods and lock my bike. I start walking, and I smile. The dog is so happy to be out. He's so simple, but he's happy. And isn't that the goal of all? I lie on a hill and stare at the sky. The feeling grows stronger. I'd like to dance, run... Do whatever that takes much energy. But all I do is lie still. I just feel the energy. It feels like there are... things around. Spirits, ghosts. Maybe the God I do not believe in. They're all smiling at me.6
I don't know for how long I've been lying there, but I think it's time to go back. As I enter the kitchen door, my mother is starting to ask a question, but she doesn't finish it. She sees the smile on my face. I don't smile much... But I think the energy I felt today will make me smile for a few days.7
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