Tout Que J'ai Besion Est Vous 41

Gerard quickly got up. staring into your eyes to see if you were okay. your hand traveled to your stomach. 1

*YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?* Gerard charged towards Frankie throwing punches the entire way to him and slamming him against the wall. you lay staring at the ceiling. shocked and terrified. unable to move you let tears swell up in your eyes and you remained holding your stomach. it couldn't be. 2

*Gee stop.* you cried from laying down Ray and Mikey helped you up to your feet and you walked to him shaking you fell to the floor holding yourself. Gerard immediately let go of Frankie and fell to you. 3

*Babe are you okay? is it okay?* he pleaded. you looked at him and shook your head. he picked you up and carried you into the bathroom. he sat you down on your feet. 4

*Did I hurt you?* 5

*My head hurts a little but I’m worried. I need to use the bathroom. I’m sure we'll be fine Gerard. wait outside.* you did your business and stood up to flush the toilet. you looked down and screamed. Gerard rushed into the bathroom and caught you as you fell to the floor. 6

*What is it?* he asked and you pointed to the toilet. he raised himself up a few inches and collapsed to the floor crying with you. 7

*I'm so sorry.* you cried. 8

*don't be Cassie. it's alright. it wasn't your fault.* 9

*It wasn't Frankie's either. he was defending me. he thought we got into a fight.* 10

* I know….. I know.* 11

you both wandered back into the living area and slouched over the booth table about 15 minutes later Gerard went to bed. the bus was awkward for a long time. and everyone left you alone. Until Frankie went to your side. 12

*What was all that about? you two weren't fighting….. were you?* he looked at you and gave you a half hearted grin. 13

*No. we weren't.* 14

*Then what's wrong? why do you both look so miserable?* 15

*I had miscarriage.* you whispered. 16

*How could you? you'd have to be pregnant...to miscarriage.* you looked at him and looked back down. 17

*A baby? I didn't know, I...I’m so sorry. I didn't know... I killed...the baby? I’m so sorry. I….didn't know... I didn't know...* Frankie got up and rushed into the bunks presumably to go apologize to Gerard. things were odd for a few days. When everyone heard news but kept their questions to themselves, which you were very thankful for. You all goofed off on the way home stopping at amusement parks and riding go karts and attacking each other with silly string and going to small town fairs and stuff. It was all so much fun.   You weren’t all in a rush to get home really. Finally the bus was taken to the studio where it was put in safe storage.  You all drove in the van back home Ray took the wheel because Ray for some reason liked to drive. You all sprawled out on the long seat Frankie sat in the bench in front and slept for a long time Gerard You and Mikey sat in the back most row of seats and Bob sat in the passenger seat to bug Ray for the ride.  Mikey fell asleep soon after Frankie and Then You and then Gerard. You finally pulled up to the house, after stopping at a convenience store to buy Gerard’s mom some flowers. You got some balloons and walked up the path way to the stoop then up the stairs and through the screen door into the living room were Gerard’s dad sat and watched TV. You hid behind Bob and Ray  Gerard’s dad got up and gave everyone a hug. Even you. He didn’t really member you but after a few memories brought back by an enthusiastic group of guys he remembered. 18

*Darling! The Kids are home!* Gee’s dad called. Mrs. Way came running down the stairs and hugged her boys. Then the rest of them. You stood behind Ray and Bob still and finally spoke up.19

*And I don’t get a hug mom?* you laughed. She jerked around and froze the minute she recognized you.20

*CASSIE!!!!!* she screamed and clenched you to herself. You laughed and gave her the flowers and balloons you spent the night catching up with Mrs. Way and told her of your life.21

*Wow. That was an interesting story Cassie!* Mrs. Way exclaimed.22

*How has my dad been? Is he okay?* you asked her. She smiled and gave you a cup of warm cocoa.23

*We see him every once in a while. He rarely comes out of his house. A few weeks after you ran away. He put a new tree by your window. I guess he was hoping that you’d come home after a while.  The poor guy. He gets his food delivered and pays the neighborhood kids to come take out his trash.  He doesn’t really come out. We see him drive to the store  some things like light bulbs but after you ran away he went into retirement to wait. *24

*He put in a new tree?* you teared up and stayed in the dining room when all the guys went to move all their stuff into the garage and basement. *Should I go see him?* you looked at her through spaced fingers.25

*Yes. But not tonight you should wait until morning. It’s already late. Have you guys eaten dinner yet?* you nodded to her question.  *It’s so good to know that after  8 years your safe.* she kissed you on the forehead an you all crashed out in Gerard’s room. Nothing changed really. There were a few new pictures and paintings on the wall one of them was in your likeness and creepily looked just like you did when you were a kid. Stringy black hair bruises pale skin.  And over the top bore the words. ‘I Will Find You.’  you smiled and jumped on Gerard who was laying on the bed. 26

*Gee are we going to tell your mom about my miscarriage?* you asked once you were sure everyone was asleep.27

*No. I don’t want her getting any ideas about being a grandmother so soon.* Gerard shrugged and yawned and replaced his arms around you. 28

*Especially that we aren’t married.* you smiled *You want to come see my father with me tomorrow?*29

*Sure. I’ll go. Moral support?*30

*Yeah and help if he decides to throttle me.* you whispered.31