A Wish and a Dream

1

A dream to play with course of the future,2

A wish to unravel the threads of time…3

Unknowingly shaping the course4

Of the soon-to-be…5

Wandering through the very universe,6

Traveling through the stars,7

Painting the skies of8

The soon-to-be…9

Two girls, unknowingly,10

Began something11

Unstoppable…12

A vivid, horrifying dream,13

And a bitter, fading wish,14

An unwritten page,15

In the diary of time.16

Chapter One:17

From dawn to dusk we toiled,18

Heaving blocks of dusty stone,19

The whip racing ‘cross our backs.20

Through the murky darkness,21

The deep, enshrouding gloom,22

We could hardly see our hands,23

Let alone the crumbling stones.24

Forced to work against our will,25

Will the toiling never end?26

Can’t a heart of broken stone,27

Begin to understand?28

Love…an unknown concept,29

That a dreamer longs for…30

Love, the faded star.31

The dusty page crinkled in the silence of the room. Even the fresh ink was faded and wavering in the flickering candlelight that lit the darkness. Yet in the corners of her vision, shadows flickered…an illusion conjured by her own mind, but one that seemed of a reality more tangible than the meager traces of the memories strewn in the back of her mind. A poet…but a poet that only lived through her words.32

The faces in the back of her head were faded, her grip on them fading like water slipping through her fists. The harder she tried to grasp it, to secure and hold it tight, the farther away it slipped, teasing within the back of her mind…always there, and never truly gone, though her eye could not catch a glimpse of it.33

Biting off a bitter sigh, she attempted to hide the bitter tears that blurred her eyes. Life was a meaningless abyss of shadows that teased her…useless sorrow and anguish that mocked her, coming in various faces and different forms. The only faces and voices in her mind that were sharp were those of mocking laughter that drifted in and out of sight…hateful and cruel, lips twisted into a devilish grin. Her mother’s face was almost gone, though her name sounded like a sweet lullaby as it passed her lips and her face seemed soft in her dreams, where it was the most clear.34

As an orphan, in her childhood, she had often watched from the sideline with envy, the shackles rattling from wrists and ankles as she watched the play of children dashing through the dusty streets…watched as they kissed their Mothers’ goodbye, racing out of the door. Face pressed against the glass, she would gaze inward at the family snuggling by the warm, flickering flames of the fire and felt the undying need for that kind of love, one that was rare and something that she had never experienced. Other children treated her like a fiend for being an orphan slave…one of the many featureless people toiling over stones and gardens all day with bruises backs and aching bones…of meaningless face and with names that they did not even care to know.35

The memory of the name her mother had selected out for her was faded, but when did grasp it enough, it brought stinging tears to her eyes…Lucifieria. But as a slave, no name was needed…they merely referred to her as Dokai. 36

As a rebellious youngster, she had often turned a hateful glare to laughing faces that seemed faces of mockery to her, earning the stern stare of elders. Their tongues were sharp as they uselessly rebuked her for only thinking the things she did, and all their hands delivered was hardness. She had learned to take their hits, learned to bite away the tears and anger…37

Only one person had been and still was there for her…Ashiema. She had been the one that taught her to write and of poetry…who had opened her mind and scattered the faint traces of love…but even her dearest friend had not been able to erase the hate from sight. It was still there, flowing from her pen and onto the paper, along with the river of tears she cried each night…tears that were not in self-pity but rather with the anguish of keeping back the rebellious heart and the cries of hatred that struggled to be heard.38

Closing the dusted pages of the book, she returned it to its resting place, cowering in the shadows of her little corner, breathing lightly. Snores drifted all around as they slept peacefully…daily burdens forgotten in the soft realms of sleep…how could they forget their woes like that? The anger was too strong to forget, and every time she slept, her mind was plagued with hatred and nightmares…they would not go away…39

Images of her family being murdered right in front of her eyes continued to play through her head as she watched the darkness of the night. Etched sharply in her memory, every detail was bright and clear…every scream carefully separated so that she understood everything. Even as a child of four, the dark fists of hatred and anger that tightened around her heart would not go away as they carried her, kicking, biting and screaming, into the dark confines of her new home.40

At times like this, the past swallowed her…carrying her on its back.  Everything was vivid in her mind as if she was experiencing it…the feelings were revived and enhanced…the tears she wept were bitter and filled with hatred, and the inner rage that threatened to tear her apart as strong as it had ever been. Lips quivering with the emotional overload, even the deep, calming breaths would not help her as she was lost amid the dark shadows and the nightmarish images…41

The silence was interrupted by the soft and gentle hand, and the quietly whispered voice of comfort. “I didn’t expect to see you up so late…Lucifieria.” Her heart calmed considerably the welcome voice.42

“You should expect it, Ashiema. This is the only time for silence that I have…silence to think.” Lucifieria met Ashiema’s soft blue gaze, her own warm brown eyes suddenly calm. Ye there was always that fire there that hinted of the rage it had been…a lukewarm flicker that was always visible and that no water had ever managed to quench.43

Emerging from the darkness, Lucifieria let out a last sigh as the images fled from her mind, released at last from the outburst. Her eyes still flashed with their lukewarm flicker as she gazed out into the darkness of the night…lips lingering over the wish that was faded in her mind. The stars seemed to glow with a pallid light, hopeless and fragile, and yet it was the only star in sight so she let the wish linger on her lips one last time as she drifted off into the realms of mocking slumber.44