Madison was starting over, a new home in a new city and a new mother and father far away from the torment of her past life. her worker sat in the drivers seat of her 4 door saturn smiling that smile, the one that said 'don't worry'. but madison did worry all her other homes had been faliures full of hatred and abuse, she hoped this one was different. as she stared at her worker she thought about how much susan ment to her and how she wanted susan to adopt her, but in the back of her mind she knew it would be a dream that would never come true. maddison stared silently hoping the butterflies she was sure were in her stomach wouldn't fly out as the pulled up infront of the most beautiful victorian house maddison had ever laid eyes on. maddison brushed her sand brown hair from her face and slowly got out of the car. Susan reaching out her hand and leading her up the long path way to her new home. at the end of the walk way to meet maddison was a tall stalky man with white blond hair, like the kind you only get from the bottle, and a gorgeous woman with jet black hair and piercing grey eyes. " mr. and mrs. colons this is maddison lewis, your new daughter, the man looked at her with eyes so cool blue that maddison didn't understan how they could be so warm and said, "hello, would you like to come in and see your room?" maddison couldn't refuse. as maddison entered the home she could smell lavander and mint and it was soothing to her for some unknown reason. as she inced closer and closer to the door that said maddison she felt a sort of comfort, until that is she opened the door. "OH MY GOD NO!" maddion shreik in horror they all ran to see what was the matter "IT"S PINK I HATE PINK!" but mrs. colon's smiled and said you can paint it any color you wish this brought the smile back to maddison's oh so beautiful face. After sitting and discussing any final arangments susan announces she will be on her way, maddison hugs her and tells her she loves her, susan leaves. Maddison and the colon't sit and talk for hours about anything and everything until mrs. colon's decides it's time for bed and lying in the pastel blue room maddison drifts into a deep and comfortable sleep.1
-to be continued-2
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
-
Good beginning!
I do think, if you plan on continuing with this, that you get someone to beta read it for you. Correcting spelling and Caps and so forth. Some of me pausing to try and figure out a word took away from the story. Also, you went from a pink room to a blue one? or did I miss something? This is the type of thing a beta reader will help you with!
Now, want to go read the next installment!!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
-
omg
I really cant wait for this to be continued
it really rocked
totali
plz write more!
Madison was starting over, a new home in a new city and a new mother and father far away from the torment of her past life. her worker sat in the drivers seat of her 4 door saturn smiling that smile, the one that said 'don't worry'. but madison did worry all her other homes had been faliures full of hatred and abuse, she hoped this one was different. as she stared at her worker she thought about how much susan ment to her and how she wanted susan to adopt her, but in the back of her mind she knew it would be a dream that would never come true. maddison stared silently hoping the butterflies she was sure were in her stomach wouldn't fly out as the pulled up infront of the most beautiful victorian house maddison had ever laid eyes on. maddison brushed her sand brown hair from her face and slowly got out of the car. Susan reaching out her hand and leading her up the long path way to her new home. at the end of the walk way to meet maddison was a tall stalky man with white blond hair, like the kind you only get from the bottle, and a gorgeous woman with jet black hair and piercing grey eyes. " mr. and mrs. colons this is maddison lewis, your new daughter, the man looked at her with eyes so cool blue that maddison didn't understan how they could be so warm and said, "hello, would you like to come in and see your room?" maddison couldn't refuse. as maddison entered the home she could smell lavander and mint and it was soothing to her for some unknown reason. as she inced closer and closer to the door that said maddison she felt a sort of comfort, until that is she opened the door. "OH MY GOD NO!" maddion shreik in horror they all ran to see what was the matter "IT"S PINK I HATE PINK!" but mrs. colon's smiled and said you can paint it any color you wish this brought the smile back to maddison's oh so beautiful face. After sitting and discussing any final arangments susan announces she will be on her way, maddison hugs her and tells her she loves her, susan leaves. Maddison and the colon't sit and talk for hours about anything and everything until mrs. colon's decides it's time for bed and lying in the pastel blue room maddison drifts into a deep and comfortable sleep.
KAt -
omg
I really cant wait for this to be continued
it really rocked
totali
plz write more!
Madison was starting over, a new home in a new city and a new mother and father far away from the torment of her past life. her worker sat in the drivers seat of her 4 door saturn smiling that smile, the one that said 'don't worry'. but madison did worry all her other homes had been faliures full of hatred and abuse, she hoped this one was different. as she stared at her worker she thought about how much susan ment to her and how she wanted susan to adopt her, but in the back of her mind she knew it would be a dream that would never come true. maddison stared silently hoping the butterflies she was sure were in her stomach wouldn't fly out as the pulled up infront of the most beautiful victorian house maddison had ever laid eyes on. maddison brushed her sand brown hair from her face and slowly got out of the car. Susan reaching out her hand and leading her up the long path way to her new home. at the end of the walk way to meet maddison was a tall stalky man with white blond hair, like the kind you only get from the bottle, and a gorgeous woman with jet black hair and piercing grey eyes. " mr. and mrs. colons this is maddison lewis, your new daughter, the man looked at her with eyes so cool blue that maddison didn't understan how they could be so warm and said, "hello, would you like to come in and see your room?" maddison couldn't refuse. as maddison entered the home she could smell lavander and mint and it was soothing to her for some unknown reason. as she inced closer and closer to the door that said maddison she felt a sort of comfort, until that is she opened the door. "OH MY GOD NO!" maddion shreik in horror they all ran to see what was the matter "IT"S PINK I HATE PINK!" but mrs. colon's smiled and said you can paint it any color you wish this brought the smile back to maddison's oh so beautiful face. After sitting and discussing any final arangments susan announces she will be on her way, maddison hugs her and tells her she loves her, susan leaves. Maddison and the colon't sit and talk for hours about anything and everything until mrs. colon's decides it's time for bed and lying in the pastel blue room maddison drifts into a deep and comfortable sleep.
KAt
Adding your comment:
