Eighteen Candles (pt33)

Oracle1

June2

July3

august4

these past three months5

have been crazy6

because of a stick7

whose strip turned blue.8

it was my oracle9

braced me for the truth10

made no promises that I'd like11

whatever answers it gave me.12

now I'm here13

mind rewinding14

watching it all over again15

I know that I16

should dispose it.17

But I can't.18

wrapped in a plastic19

bag20

buried under mountains of21

clothes inside my duffel bag22

is where it will stay until23

I find a special place24

to put it.25

***26

Going Away Party27

mom invited 28

a miniature crowd29

for a small party30

she wanted to give me31

something before I left32

so I let her33

prepare a little party34

before Zale and I left.35

Zale's parents gave 36

us their blessing37

wished as well38

as did everyone else39

majority of the party40

I spent at the window41

or at the backyard gate42

looking for dad's43

familiar44

blue mustang45

with the silver cross46

no show47

time to go48

heart sinking49

tears falling50

all these years51

I've resented him52

and now53

I'm let down54

because he isn't here55

not much of a going away party56

if everyone isn't here to57

wish you well58

***59

at the last minute60

like magic61

that blue mustang62

appears out of nowhere63

pulling up beside Zale's truck64

Dana gets out first65

and hugs me66

whispers that she knows67

and I smile.68

Dad approaches69

carefully taken each step70

towards me71

'Hello,' he says, smiling weakly72

I don't wait.73

just cut to the chase74

I hug him. Breathing75

in his daddy smell76

grass77

shaving cream78

cologne79

coffee80

I breathed it in81

to press into my memory82

'I'm glad you came. I didn't think you'd83

come.'84

'Well I didn't want to disappoint you.' 85

he kisses my forehead86

sweeping away hair from my eyes87

'I'm sorry Denzel...for being late.' He smiles.88

And I smile. Then I laugh.89

'Your not that late dad.' I say90

'Good.' He laughs.91

'I love you dad. And...I'm sorry.'92

He shakes his head93

like I shouldn't apologize.94

'Me too. I love you Denzel. I always have95

and I always will. That will never change, no matter96

how much you change.'97

Now98

Now I know...99

things will be okay.100

I know now.101

Dad calls Zale over102

and does what all dads do:103

warns him.104

And I leave at peace105

having what I wanted106

His blessing.107