Pepsi Rules!

Long brown hair cascaded down her back and flew behind her like a flag.  She wore a glittery blue evening gown that clung to her seductive body like a glove.  Around her neck was a circular pendant with three proud colors.  Red, white and blue in a swirl of brilliant gems.  She was Pepsi, a good a just queen for her people.  Never did her people thirst or hunger, for she had sworn to protect them all.1

Stepping up to her guards, she pushed them aside and stood before the most sacred thing in her lands.  The recipe for the greatest bubbly beverage in the world.  She touched the glass case which held it, a shiver ran down her spine and she turned and walked to her throne.  Instantly, she was given a can of her namesake, she popped the top and poured it down her throat.2

“Duchess Diet!  Lady Wild Cherry! Duke Vanilla!  Prince Twist!  Lord Lime! So good of you to show up for tonight’s festivities!”3

One by one they approached Pepsi’s throne and knelt before her.  With a wave of her hand each was given a can of their namesake.  “Thank you Queen Pepsi.”  They all murmured before slurping down the dark brown cola.4

“Where is Princess Caffeine Free and Empress Diet Caffeine Free? And what of the new Lord One?”5

“We do not know where they are Majesty, we thought perhaps they had arrived already.”6

“So, they insult me by refusing my invitation?  Perhaps they shall be discontinued much like Crystal was!  His clear blood ran for days in my dungeons before I allowed him death.” Her eyes glowed red and blue with a distinct white line in the center.7

Queen Pepsi dismissed her subjects before adjourning to her chambers to prepare for the nights celebration.  After 100 years of reigning over her kingdom, a huge celebration was about to go down.  She bathed in Pepsi essential oils and washed her hair in the essence of Pepsi.  When she was clean, her servants dried her with big fluffy beach towels emblazoned with the crest of her family.8

A frown tugged at her lips as she wondered where her friends could be, it simple wasn’t like them to just not show up without word.  She had received happy acceptances of the invitations she had extended.  The servants covered her skin with droplets of sparkle and painted her face in a beautiful display of red white and blue, then dusted her with glitter once more.  Diamonds were scattered throughout her hair, fastened with tiny clips.  Her hair had been brushed and oiled so that it shone in any light, soft cola brown tendrils framed her face delicately.  Her gown had been crafted by the finest seamstress in all the land.  She stepped into the dress and it was lifted over her nude body slowly.  The blue of the fabric was drenched with diamonds.  Pepsi was fond of very form fitting dresses, her figure left every man besotted with her beautiful shape.  Her ample breasts and shapely hips spoke of promises in the bedroom beyond any man’s wildest dreams.9

Finally, her cloak was fastened around her neck.  The shades of blue that her robes held were darker, more cerulean than the lighter shades her dresses tended to be.  Even the fabric differed from her dress, where her dress was silky smooth, the robes were velvet perfection with red suede trim.  The robes surrounded her and she shivered with satisfaction as she gazed upon her reflection.  Her crown was placed upon her head, it was a shining silver paved with brilliant white diamonds.  After fastening her pendant around her neck and letting it lay on her chest, she fingered the rubies, diamonds and sapphires.  It had been in her family since her kingdom had been conquered.10

She rushed out of her room and towards the ballroom to started the celebration.  The doors were opened for her instantly and she glided into the room. Searching the crowd for the missing people she frowned deeper.  “Where could they be?” she wondered silently.11

The room fell silent as she descended the stairs and deeper into the room, as she stepped onto the floor the room erupted in thunderous applause and she smiled graciously.  Her eyes found King Frito-Lay across the room and all his people stood behind him, she went to him and offered her hand.  He took it with a grin and placed a salty kiss upon her hand.  Allowing him to lead her to the dance floor, the music began and they flowed over the floor with finesse.12

Suddenly, the room exploded in gunfire and Pepsi ducked and rolled, sending her crown flying across the floor.  “Not one more step Queen.”13

She was momentarily blinded by the tiny red light of a gun.  She slowly stood and looked directly into the eyes of the man behind the gun who had spoken, “What is the meaning of this?”14

He pressed a button and a screen dropped into the middle of the room.  Pepsi looked at the screen and frowned, her eyes filling with rage.  On the screen was Queen Coca-Cola, smiling widely, but the fury that filled her eyes could not be missed.  “The meaning, dear Pepsi Queen,” she spat the name out like a disease, “if you want to see your dear friends alive again, you will do battle this night!”15

“A battle you could never win Coca-Cola, my armies outnumber you.  You would be stupid to try.”16

“Nevertheless, I have your pathetic people and you will fight or watch them die!”17

An idea came to her, “Since I outnumber you so grossly Queen, I would rather suggest a fight between you and me only.  If I win you free my people and if you win, you may claim my throne.”18

“So be it, if you refuse me a war I will be glad to kill you once and for all.”19

“When will we fight then?”20

“Tonight, in one hour’s time!”21

The screen went blank and when Pepsi looked around, she found the shooters gone.  She ran from the room and back to hers, she dropped her cloak to the floor and peeled out of her dress quickly.  She grabbed her blue leather body suit and got it on with help from her servants.  She opened her closet and walked in to a door in the back, she pushed the door open and was almost blinded by the light beyond.  She stepped into the room once her eyes had adjusted and stood before two crossed swords hanging on the wall.  The hilts gleamed with rubies and diamonds, the blades gleamed with their deadly promise of bloodshed.22

She turned and found the sheaths hanging, she grabbed them and put them on.  She carefully took down the swords and sheathed them at her sides.  She opened a drawer on the other wall and removed two daggers and slide them into the hidden sheaths within her body suit. She grabbed some wrist blades and fastened them over her sleeves, she retracted them and left the room.  She let her servants put the cloak back on once more, her pendant dangling from her neck.23

She walked the halls and finally came to her throne room, her guests sat around the room and there stood Queen Coca-Cola.  She wore a ruby red cloak that billowed around her as she stood waiting for the fight to begin.  The rules were simple, no guns and fight to the blood.  They were immortal, no death would come tonight, but Pepsi intended to make Coca-Cola bleed for her treachery tonight.  King Frito-Lay came to take her cloak and gave her a gentle smile before turning to leave.  Queen Coca-Cola made a movement and King Frito-Lay’s eyes grew wide and he turned back to Queen Pepsi, a dagger in his chest.  Pepsi gasped and looked at Coca-Cola, “So it has begun.” She shrugged from her red cloak and stood posed to fight.24

Pepsi drew her swords and ran at her, in a flash she faded left and shoved the metal into the chest of one of her people.  The man was known as King Minute Maid, his orange robes pooled as he fell to his knees.  “So it has.”25

They faced off and dueled with swords until finally Pepsi plunged a dagger into Queen Coca-Cola’s stomach.  “Let them go NOW!”26

Her people were shoved into the open and they retreated without another word, carrying their wounded silently.  Pepsi watched them leave and turned back to her people, “Pepsi RULES!”27

They cheered and danced around the room, drinking Pepsi until dawn.  Just another day in the life of the Pepsi Queen.  28