She felt his breath, so warm, on the back of her neck. The cold blade juxtaposed to the hot source of the throbbing pulse in her throat. After squirming for a few moments, the futility of her struggle became apparent as both of his arms were locked about her torso. His boa-like grip around her was making it difficult to breathe. 1
Long strands of her black hair covered her face, increasing the discomfort she felt. There was nothing she could do to push them away. The knife at her throat was becoming annoying in its persistence. It wasn't death she was afraid of; it was the thought of being immobilized that enraged her. As she tried digging her heels into his shins, he grabbed a handful of her hair and yanked her head back. 2
"This will go a lot easier on you if you just quit moving," he said.3
"Fuck you!" she spat at him.4
She grappled with the knife, and as she was gaining leverage, she whipped around against his taut grip on her hair. He let go so suddenly that her head shot forward. His hand shoved hers down the edge of the knife and she screamed. Blood dripped from the knife to her chest, finding the paths of least resistance down to the valley between her breasts.5
"You really might want to rethink this escape idea of yours," he said. 6
His foot was braced against her heel. He grabbed her shoulders and spun her around quickly, pushing her to the ground. She threw her arms out only to catch nothing, then looked up to his face in alarm. His pale, blue eyes stared back at her, the picture of perfection. 7
He splayed his hand out over her sternum and held her on the ground. He picked up one of his feet and placed it on the other side of her belly. As he bent over her shaking body, the knife sought passage along the yielding skin below her rib cage. His cropped, almost platinum hair fell in front of his eyes, clouding their intent to her. Her fear was causing the breath to come quickly now, only exciting him more. The weak dizziness pulsed through her body as he tightened his grip on her forearm.8
A flash of adrenaline seared across his face as his features flickered a menacing expression. As his calm broke, she braced for the worst and shook her head back and forth. She was losing control as she began begging for her life in unintelligible phrases and whines. 9
Her pleas only amused him as he prepared to show her precisely what she was so afraid of. As he adjusted the grip of the knife in his hand, he slowly cut a line from the top of her shirt to the bottom, piercing the surface tension of the skin only slightly. Her body tensed up and she cried out in pain as her shirt was being torn from her body. He smiled at the bloody mess that was left in the wake of his destruction. When he wrapped the tattered cloth around her wrists, he squeezed tightly on the gash on her fingers while he tied the knot to keep her still. She swore and closed her eyes tightly as her legs crossed around each other. She knew what was coming. 10
Author notes
I am allowed these periodic breaks in the writer's block.
In a list
A contest entry
- The VERY BEST of DARK by Immortal Obscurity.
100 points, ended January 14, 2008, 18 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Well described, and well written all over
I like the style of writing, and I like the plot, though simple it's highly effective
Well done indeed 
(So it turned out I'd read this before, but yeah, it's still great ;D)beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
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Very intense and very descriptive. Great Job.
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You have a great way with action
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I'm intrested in this very much. It's quite tense and has a really afraid feel to it. I really enjoyed this writing and hope you keep me updated to the next part.
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Very well written and twisted welcome to Monsters Demons and Villains
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Wow, that was brilliant! Very morbid and dark, and it made me smile I enjoyed this thoroughly! I should like to read the rest of the series Well done, and good luck!
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Twisted!
The story is definitely twisted, but it's interesting too...makes me want to read more. I think that you have the ability to grab your reader's attention...and not let go. Hard for some authors to do. BELIEVE ME. -
This was amazing, very good and twisted in a way
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Attention-grabber
I do not think I would have the courage to scream "F you" to a person that had me in such a situation. However, everything else was suspensful and enjoyable. This man is very twisted, and I look forward to reading the remainder of your story. The details and severity of this situation give me the chills. Great job.
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Very good, but very bad.
This is extremely well written and gripping. My only question is are women really this brave or stupid? Fuck you and spitting is pretty stupid. Waiting for an opportunity and surprise is much wiser, or complete cooperation and prayer. Getting caught in the situation in the first place is a major mistake. How did she find herself as a rape victim? Well, I am moving on to the rest of the story.
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Extremely well written, very suspenseful, loved the cliff hanger will be sure to read the other parts!
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I'm glad you are allowed periodic breaks in the writer's block! Because it seemingly turns out great!
A very good start to a story! Leaves me wanting more! Very well written, and suspenseful
Good job! I'll read the second and third parts asap! Really good
beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 2, characters: 5.
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Oh man..that was awful! I squirmed so bad whiles reading this, I'm doubtful on if my stomach can take reading the next parts..
Damn you and your story because I have to find out what happens!
Okay, so I actually love when I read stuff that makes me squirm without the stupid shock value invovled..it was insanely well written and very vivid.
So, I'm off to read the next parts
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WHAT?!
Man, you are terrible with your reader bait. You end it...right there! Hmm...anyway, this was action packed and freaking awesome! I loved that she fought against him. So many stories just portray their victims as meekly submitting. Where's the fun in that?! Lol...great write. Can't wait to see more! -
YESSS
MORE MORE MORE.. torture stories are great. The first lines of dialogue cracked me up! -
WOW this is awsome!!!!
cant wait to read the second part . . . -
I agree, lots of sexual tention. It seems that this will be an interesting piece. Please let me know when you have completed it, or add another chapter.
Jessie -
Interesting, you've built up a lot of sexual tension. I'll make sure to pay attention and see where this goes.
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ok
well uh seeing as this type of thing cuuses me to become enraged to the point of murder i can only really say it was very well written and if it was my master doing it to me in "play" then i would be turned on emensly (i know it's strange what can i say)
good decsription lots of blood hhmmm blood ooohhhh
sorry
ok have a nice day/night when ever you read this -
i have read the first sentence and i just wanted to say congrats on actually using the word jucxtuposition in a real life sentence.
ok i will now go read the story i just had to say that.
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