Gabriel the Departed1
Violence flashed illuminating the lifeless mutilated corpse of Isabella, Gabriel’s bride to be. An anguished cry escaped his lips to be defeated by the low crackling of the sky above. Rain beginning anew, loosed by the low and constant vibrations of thunder. Isabella lay crimson, bleeding from the many puncture wounds daggered into her white night dress. Her eyes open in silent deathly terror. 2
The city streets were emptied of all life save Gabriel. Alone, Gabriel made his oath of vengeance upon the women who slaughtered his dear Isabella.3
“My sun and light depart with you Isabella,” said the departed angel Gabriel.
“The evening star and moonlit night cease with thee,” Gabriel whispered on heart felt thoughts.
“My dear sweet Isabella…”
“My dearest desert flower… This night has seized away from me.” He cried to the clouds.
“I swear undying vengeance and forsake salvation until those murderous harpies burn in the eternal fires of their Master!” bellowed Gabriel to his father above.4
Standing he wiped the sweat, rain and tears from his face. Drawing a grace around him he cast a spell to ensure the departed spirit reached the sanctuary inside the now closed gates of heaven. Isabella’s body shimmered and vanished. The scene now as if the tragedy had never happened. 5
Spreading his wings Gabriel launched himself into the night. Darkness enveloped the cold wet street as Gabriel disappeared into the distance, seeking righteous vengeance. 6
* * *7
The night had been long for Gabriel without the warmth of Isabella and with the knowledge her murderers were still on this plane of existence. He had only slept a couple of hours, but it was long enough to sustain his half-angelic body. Inside the pit of sorrowful rage consumed him – his love for life all but evaporated.8
Darkness still hugged its deadly arms around the mortal world, the conditions suited his mood. Cold wind screamed through his hair whipping it against his bulky figure. Obsidian Nimbostratus clouds hung thick over the desolate lands below. Gabriel had made good time and it wouldn’t be long till he got to his first destination. 9
Gabriel was a blazing star amidst the shadowed darkness, radiating slivers, whites, and blues. His emerald eyes glazed with bitter wretchedness and burned with grim determination, the former Archangel of hope without any of his own.10
* * *11
Hours of hard flying passed; the wind and the shadow unyielding. Down below on the plains Gabriel sighted his intended target - Raziel’s sanctuary. 12
Outside the grand gothic structure by the thick iron spiked fence he waited. A shining yellow star clad grey. Blue sky wings at rest, patient, wise, immortal, - dangerous. 13
Gabriel’s feet finally touch down on the ash smothered ground, Raziel faced him.14
“It’s been too long my brother.” Came the dark, rich, and calm voice of Raziel - One of the Angels of knowledge, the Keeper of divine mysteries, and the Grandmaster of magick. “What messages do you bring?”15
Rage tinged Gabriel’s voice as he spoke though his teeth “I bring no messages but my own…”
“I know,” cut off Raziel. “You seek the bloody path my brother.”
Gabriel’s displeasure evident; “I seek the righteous path Raziel!”
A silence - Raziel’s eyebrow rose in question “Are you so sure you are ready to hear what I know?”
“I am here, am I not?” rebuked Gabriel. “I will hear what you know.”
Raziel’s face contorted in near rage, “No good can come of this Gabriel!”
“I am no longer wholly blessed, you know this Raziel,” Regretted Gabriel unparsed by Raziel’s outburst of emotion.
“I care not what good can come of this, only of what vengeance I can exact.”
Raziel raised his arm and pointed out across the plain towards the mountains of Akrasiel and the infernal gate hidden by the high icy peeks.
“That is the way you must go if you wish to find your vengeance,” Raziel paused. “But you will not find It,” Spoke a menacing voice inside Gabriel’s head.16
Gabriel looked from the building where he had being searching through the pillars and buttresses for hidden dangers poised to attack. Raziel’s wings were at the ready and his grey cloak continued its eternal swirling dance of infinity – once blessed by God to portray the immortality of existence – it was no illusion. 17
“Yes, Gabriel I have seen the light, the morning star, Lucifer, Greatest of all creations and soon to be the lord of all.” 18
Raziel launched himself into the air. Flames swirled down towards Gabriel. In an instant the celestial blade materialized into Gabriel’s hand, responding to his need. The flames were met by an edge of light and taken into it, nullified. A red glow radiated from the living sword. Raziel had taken his chance and hid from sight but that would not save him now. 19
Rage blazed anew inside Gabriel fueled by the betrayal of yet another brother.
20
Author notes
Don't bother leaving a comment if all you are going to talk is bible (by that I mean if you are offended by any of the above and want to preach to me)
-Tate
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Some very nice description. You know how much a fan of dark writing I am
"Rain beginning anew" - began, since it's in past tense isn't it?
“My sun and light depart with you Isabella,” said the departed angel Gabriel.
-- change the first 'depart' to something else - the repetition takes away from what is otherwise a powerful line.
on heart felt - heartfelt or his heartfelt
has seized away - seized you away?
(If his father is God, technically it should be capitalised - Father. But then that may also be a personal preference thing)
Be careful with sentence structure. "The scene now as if the tragedy had never happened." --> "The scene was now as though..." or "appeared as though..." ....or "as if", whatever
"righteous vengeance." I'm sorry but that made me giggle. Is there another way of describing his vengeance other than righteous?
"The night had been long for Gabriel without the warmth of Isabella and with the knowledge her murders were still on this plain of existence."
-- murders - murderers
-- plain - plane
-- "without the warmth of Isabella; instead with the knowledge that her murderers...
Or something like that.
"He had slept a couple of hours, long enough for his half angelic body to sustain him."
-- "He had merely slept a couple of hours, but it was long enough to sustain his half-angelic body." ?
An excellent beginning
But I say bring on the preachers! They are fun to mock.
Emailed this to you also.
Cheers,
~Tal~
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woo!
Iloved this story!
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Story updated
Story updated
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I found this really intriguing. You've set yourself up for a great sequel, and you could even do some of a background story. I would enjoy reading that very much.
Warmly,
ST -
Oh thats the thing with "gothic" stories or somethign like that... I dunno you are suppose to come in when the character at the worst spot possible and then move on to the more morbid scenes of vengence and darkness etc. anything before it is implied for the moment I might fill some of it in as I go alone.
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hehe yeah it is a half steal for my first poem ever being...
My Valentine
You are my sun, my light,
The evening star, the moonlit night
You are my reason to live,
What makes my heart beat,
Desert flower beautiful and unique,
To hold you in my arms,
To be by your side even,
Just to see smile just simple,
Things that mean the world,
To me so be my valentine.
It is just the beginning of the story setting up for the mega gothicness to come
-Tate -
Mangoriffic
I like this, but I feel like a walked into the middle of the story. Is there somekind of background? -
A beautiful story of love. Seriously if anyone is offended by this there is something seriously wrong. The words he speaks is amazing, I loved his vow of vengence. I loved it.
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