It was about mid August and the leaves were all differnt kinds of colors. The wind was very strong today, blowing harshly against me as I sat at my bus stop waiting to go to school. I was the only one at this bus stop, for I am the only boy in this neighborhood that was about to be going to an all boys school. It was the kind of school where you went and you stayed there and didn't come back home untill summer or ocasionaly for a weekend. I hated the fact that my parents were making me go to this school. 1
I have always went to public schools, and I thought that I did just fine, but I guess that my parents thought differn't. The name of the school I was about to attend was "Wilborn". When my parents told me the disapointing news about me going to Wilborn I did some research. I looked it up on the internet. They made it seem like a nice acedemic achivments school. I still didn't think it was going to be all that great. I mean going to an ALL BOYS school was to much for me. I have always herd little rumors like boys who go there are gay, now being gay dosen't offend me in any way, its just I'm not gay. 2
The bus finaly came and I got on, there was only one other boy on the bus. I sat in the seat next to his. He looked at me and said "Where ya comin' from?" "You just seen it" I said. "Looks like a nice place" he said. "I guess" I said quietly. It was silent. "So where are you coming from" I asked? "Oh..I'm from a neighborhood adjacent to yours he said, it's nice there, I don't have any compalints. I just don't want to go to the dumb bunny school. The stuff I herd about this place is just scary" he said. "Oh you mean about gays" I asked? "No he said, I mean about the clicks, the groups of people who hang out and worship the devil and bunny". "What, I never herd anything about that" I said. "Oh its true, the place is also haunted people say. I herd once that some guy was found dead in his room in the dorm skinned and no sign of who did it" he said. "You gotta be kidding me" I said. "Hey I'm just telling you what I herd. By the way I forgot to introduce myself my name is Craig Williams" He said. "Oh sorry my name is Jason Holt." I said.3
The rest of the bus ride was silent. Craig had fallen asleep, and I couldn't even think to sleep after what he had told me. Could it be ture? Is the school really haunted? Or is it some dumb bull bunny lie? As we entered the gates to the school I began to think that it wasn't a lie. There was a group of boys all dressed in black sitting under a tree. It looked as though they were medatating. I didn't want to get off the bus but I had no choice. Here I am about to enter the school of Hell. Lord save me now!4
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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I am also new at writing stories and far from perfect so don't worry about the fact that this may not be the best story you will ever write but it is a good starting point. Everyone improves in their writing skills by learning how to iron out the inconsistencies and write a story that however far fetched it is actually can be credible with the events it tells (in other words, when you are writing note down significant events of the story so you don't forget anything or contradict the story). A good piece that has been written by someone who is new to story writing.
michael -
OMG I didn't even think about that as I was typing it! What would a girl be doing on a all boys school? Wow what was I thinking! Is there a way to go back and correct it? Well i'll try and find out. I know it seemed crowded to me too but i didn't know how to make it better, Im new at writting stories I Usualy always write poetry. But thanxs for the compliments!
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Two thumbs up!
Okay... This was very intereting... truley. I really liked it. But there were some moments I was just wondering... You mentioned a girl that was found dead in her room... Where was that room? In the school? What was a girl doing in an ALL BOY school? huh?! hmm... What else... Oh yeah... it would be better if you will use every speech-sentence in one new row... It was quite crowded and difficult to read... The rest was good. And especially the content and the story itself... very intreguing! Well done! Write some more!


