Tout Que J'ai Besion Est Vous 35

All things were well on the bus. No one was fighting. Touring was back into its usual swing and you felt the strongest you had ever felt to Gerard.  Ray had gotten a hold of his girlfriend. Bob finally got enough sleep as was awake for most of the day. But the strangest thing Frankie was nice. It seemed like he was finally happy for you and Gerard. And it made  you so happy to know that he accepted it. Gerard had approached you earlier in the morning and proposed a duet  you both would perform. 1

*You can still sing well can’t you?*2

*I don’t know. Haven’t had a reason to sing.* you smiled.3

*You can still sing.*4

*How do you know?*5

*I heard you in the shower this morning.*6

*Yeah, so what about it?*7

*Do you want to sing with me?*8

*Why?! I’m not good at singing  when people are watching.*9

*Then don’t sing to them. Sing to me.*10

*I don’t know*11

*It’s going to be fun!!!!!* you rolled your eyes at him which made him grab you around the waist and pull you onto the couch.12

*Please. The song I have in mind will be good!* you knew this was going to be a bit awkward. But hey it might be fun.13

*Fine. Ok I’ll do it. Just let me breathe!* Gerard had begun to squeeze at you making it hard to breathe with every second.14

*Ok. The song I want us to sing. Is a song from Seether featuring Amy lee. From evanescence. Its called Broken. And its really good.*15

*I’ve heard it before.* you smiled. And tried to remember the lyrics.16

*Good less work for us!* 17

So the day went on. You called the new manager the agency had given you and got permission by Seether to do it. it was exciting. You all practiced in the studio (back of the bus). Gerard had even gone out and got you blood red wings to wear.  You had been practicing 12 hours for 7 days straight and today it just became a chore. It was annoying and monotonous and everything was just on your nerves. 18

*Could you put a little more heart into it?* Gerard asked poking you in the side with a pen.19

*WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! I’m putting all my effort into it!* you retorted.20

*Effort and Heart are two completely different things.* Gerard said with a smirk that only pissed you off more.21

*If you want me to put heart into you’ll  just have to deal with me not doing it. I’m not listening to you who are you to criticize whether or not I’m putting enough heart into anything. I promise to you that it will sound good.*22

*You’re singing it beautifully. But that’s all your doing. I don’t think you know the lyrics-*23

*I know the lyrics Gerard!* you snapped at him24

*Yes you know the lyrics but not the significance in them.* Gerard tried to calm you down and put his hands on your arms. You furrowed your eyebrows at him and tugged your arms away from him.25

*I’m tired of practicing Gee. Can we call it a night?* you leaned all your weight onto one foot and put your hand on a hip and waited for his answer. His face looked crestfallen and it made a small twinge of guilt in your heart. 26

*Babe the show is tomorrow. We need to practice more. Just a little more today. Please.*27

*No Gee. I don’t want to practice anymore. If I get anymore frustrated them I am now. I’m not going to do it at all* He just looked down and nodded you dropped the mic  and walked out of the studio. You hated being a bitch. You really did but stop go stop go stop go got annoying at just frustrating after a few hours. And Gerard nitpicking at every single little thing made you angry. Enough was enough and you had to take a rest.  You went into the kitchen and sat at the booth with a cd player listening to the song over and over again. You began to write the lyrics back line after line. And slowly with each line you had finally found the gravity in the words. The meaning behind the melody like someone had magically granted you sight after being blind for so long. You  slowly felt guilt rush over you as you heard Gerard strike up the band again to play the love song without you. After a stanza you heard them stop and the door open. With footsteps down the hall you guessed that the guys thought practicing could be shrugged off tonight. Gerard crawled on the seat to you and kissed you on the cheek.28

*I’m sorry for being such an ass.* Gerard said holding you.29

*No it’s ok. I was being a bitch. And I finally understand the song.*30

*Really?* Gerard asked smiling.31

*Well, it depends in what you mean by knowing the lyrics but I have a sort of good idea.* you smiled and kissed him. 32

The next day after arriving at the site you all did a sound check and worked everything out. You practiced on the stage for a little while.  And then all went to get breakfast. It was actually good food. Ihop is the shit.  You all had a funny conversation of how many times someone’s rolled out of their bunk when they were sleeping or when the bus turned a little fast. The one particularly funny is on the Bob had told you. He was taking a shower and the bus when down a turning onramp to the highway and Bob fell out of the shower onto the cold tile, which gave him ‘major shrinkage issues’ and made him afraid to pee for the entire week.33

*You guys want to go stay in a hotel tonight?* Gerard asked laughing and wiping the tears out of his eyes. Everyone nodded. So it was decided that that night you were going to stay the night in a hotel.  The time counted down for the song to be played. And the band to go on. They did their songs. All of their Three Cheers cd. Demolition lovers and then Gerard introduced you to the crowd.34

*This is a very dear dear friend of mine. Well she’s more than a friend to me. My soon to be fiancée and was the drummer of MCR before Bob and Matt Peliser. She’s going to come out here to help me give you all a little surprise.  We’re going to sing a little song I dedicate to all you couples!!!!!* with that Gerard came up to you and tipped you over and made out with you. There were cat call and whoops and awws in the crowd when he finally let you stand back straight your face was flushed and you sported a big grin. When the music finaly kicked on in the backround.35

You wore a black tu tu skirt thing with tattered black fabric draping over it. With a black long sleeve button down shirt that was form fitting and very cute.  You stood there with a little red bow clip In your hair . And you stood next to the mic stand.36

Gerard began the song. And you really listened to the words. To find the meaning behind them as you had before.37

*I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh38

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away39

I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well40

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain*41

his voice sounded so quietly and really unlike him.. But it was sexy… you took a deep breath and joined42

*‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome43

And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away*44

You struggled to remember the words and you struggled to remember you part as Gerard sang 45

*You've gone away, you don't feel me here, anymore* 46

You took a deep breath and let your voice resonate across the crowd.47

*The worst is over now and we can breathe again48

I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away49

There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight50

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain*51

Gerard looked at you strangely. As you sang the words something happened. Tears fell down your cheeks. He looked shocked at you as you both sang through the chorus.52

*‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open 53

And I don’t feel like I am strong enough54

‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome55

And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away*56

You pushed the last few words out with all the strength you had. Crossheading (getting louder)  your voice with Gerard’s both voices echoing over the audience.  Making them cheer wildly.57

*'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome58

And I don't feel right when you're gone away* 59

you looked down to the floor and closed your eyes sliding slowly down to your feet.  Knowing that you didn’t sing the last part. You breathed deeply and slowly opened your eyes. 60

*You've gone away61

You don't feel me here anymore.*62

Gerard had walked to your side and helped you to your feet again and wiped away your tears. And cradled your cheek with his hand. He kissed your fore head and whispered in your ear.63

*You really kept your promise. Tout Que J'ai Besion Est Vous.*64