Blushing Love

Damien, my lover. . . .1

"What's wrong lovely? Why do you cry?"2

Xavier, myself. . . .3

"I. . ."4

Our story started, one cold night.5

~~~~~~~~~__________~~~~~~~~~~6

I looked up at the approaching beauty, he was wearing only a fishnet shirt and leather pants, nothing fancy, but about his neck a collar was to match the rest of his demeanor. He was modeled after the occult and the gothic that have come of this age. However, his eyes shone with the wisdom from the sages of it.7

In his hand he held a black rose, how romantic. The simple perversion of the icon of love, the beautiful irony of it. I loved the very truth of it, and it even brought my mind away from the open wounds of my heart.8

Perfect flesh, slightly creased with his gentle smile for me. The rose he put in my hand, and he kneeled then beside me on the floor of the nearly abandoned inn.9

"Why do you cry then lovely? Surely one as fair as yourself could not have such agony requisite of those tears that escape you?" His soft voice pierced my observational state and I found my eyes searching out his own.10

"I cry for nothing." He eyed me as a liar, but sympathetically. I was not; however, I spoke only the truth, just a truth he did not realise.11

"How could one cry for naught? Surely you cry for some purpose? Your tears are of pain, I can tell, but please, speak to me of this pain that plagues you."12

"Sire I cry for nothings. . . . I cry for the nothing in my heart, for the nothing in my soul, for the nothing in this room, for the nothing in my memories. . . . Oh aye, I truly do cry for nothings." A poet's anguish, overblown, but somehow charming. Anything more lovably cliche to be found, I have not.13

"Such sweet nothings. Sorrow in nothings, what less greed could be held in tears? Sorrow in nothings, so far purer than sorrow in somethings." He replied with an exaggerated expression to greet the profound points of that conversation. 14

"Greedless in nothings? How then, am I greedless? I despair in longing for somethings to fill those nothings." A sly smirk came from me then, almost mocking him, but more of me too busy taking in the sight of his raven hair.15

"Greedless perhaps not then, but still admirable. To see one in sorrow, so beautiful a sight. How could anything so wonderful be bad?" A soft chuckle came from him then, and I only blushed. 16

I didn't realize it immediately, but when I did, the man had taken me nearer him, his lips almost touching mine, but he did nothing. I gazed deeply into his eyes for what seemed like hours, both of us wordless, and it may very well have been so. I suddenly lost the enchantment though, as my finger pricked upon the rose's thorns.17

I lowered my eyes to the ground and right beside my hand. The cracks in the floor, I admired the cracks in the oaken floor to hide anything else that was possibly in my mind.18

A soft hand rested on my shoulder, drawing my eyes back up to meet those crimson ones.19

"What is your name?" He asked flatly, his eyes completely unreadable as I watched them. 20

"I am Xavier, and you are?"21

"I am Damian. . . . A pleasure to meet you."22

He made the most entrancing moves then, and before I could do anything he had his lips back so close to mine. This time I was not mesmerised, and I followed my 'teachings'. My lips came to his willingly, a slight blush of shame coming to my pale cheeks. Pale because I had been in that inn for six weeks without leaving.23

My lips began to quiver against his as I kissed him, he did not return it in any way. At length he gently placed his hands back on my shoulders and pushed me away gently.24

"You seem, disturbed." I didn't realise it then, and I don't know how, but he wanted me. He wanted me as much as the last man, but what was to follow showed he was not the last man. Not by any means. 25

"I'm just doing what you wanted." I muttered, turning my head away shyly. I watched then as a bit of fluff floated by, amazing how completely I was able to concentrate on that then. 26

"No, you are not. You are doing. . . something. . . . Why is it you feel the need to?" He sighed. "Look at me Xavier." His fingers brushed my cheek so tenderly, and my head lifted against my will. He was just as good as the Master. So manipulative, and so good at it. I almost wanted to succumb to him, and I knew eventually I would. Why then try to fight it?27

"I am doing what you wanted. I am giving myself to you. No need to romance me. . . . I am just a disposable toy. Use me and throw me out. Just don't forget to feed me." I was crying then, silver tears falling onto my lap.28

"You. . . are. . . not." He barely spoke these words then, but anger was loud in that voice. Appalled, but I knew somehow it wasn't anger at me, but at what I had become. 29

"Yes, oh yes I am, now do you want me or not?" Tremors shot through both of us, my eyes only barely calm as I scooted closer to him. I was ashamed of what I was doing, but what could I do?30

"No, not like that. I want your conversation, and I want you to be happy. I do. . . not. . . want to . . . own. . . you." Strangely he spoke, pausing in between words others would have shouted, only to whisper it softly.31

I laughed then, the cruel laughter of one beaten into cynacy. Then the most surprising thing happened that broke my two year spell of insanity, a thin tear fell from -his- eyes. However, he never once turned away.32

"Tell me, how you became this." A solid question asked, my heart stopped dead right there, and if it had not been that I was crushing thorns into my hand it probably would never have beaten again.33

"I was eleven years old. . . ."34

~~~~~~~~~~_________Slavery________~~~~~~~~~~~~35

"I was eleven years old, it was actually my birthday, my last real birthday. I remember it clearly, my parents had always raised me like a girl, so the streamers were pink and hung everywhere."36

"All of my friends were there, though I don't remember any of their names now. I also don't remember the gifts, or the flavour of my cake, although that's because I never got to taste it. What I do remember clear as rain though, was him. . . ."37

"The first, and only, time I was allowed to refer to him by name was at the moment of introduction, he was Mr. Schliemann to me, his first name was Otto. As you may guess he was a German man, recently retired as a general from the U.S. Army. He was thirty-five at that time. "38

"I don't remember how it all happened, but I remember my dad and my father, smiling through their tears, as they told me he would take me away for a vacation. I left with him that night, and I never saw my family again."39

I paused taking a deep, shuddering breath as tears welled up in my eyes. And at this interlude let me just say, to this day, I still haven't seen my family, but that story is for later. Xavier still sat beside me, silently watching, and waiting for me to continue. I do not know why even now, but I did, I went on with my story.40

"He took me away immediately, we boarded the train to Bend, and he said nothing to me the entire way. I remember how I loved the countryside, I was sad I was leaving my family and friends, but in his only words Otto had described to me a wonderful home, especially the in-home library and the schools I would attend, a home I could not wait to see. After-all, I thought I could return home every holiday and summer, Mr. Schliemann had promised, cross his heart and hope to die!"41

"We reached Bend after only a day, and I walked into the home promised with glee. Oh it was everything he had promised, that much was true, but as soon as I headed to the library, that's when he spoke for the first time since home."42

I gulped down a bout of sobs again, my throat knotting tightly, my face constricted against the tears. Damien only brushed them away with his index finger, and waited patiently for me to continue. I tried to read his eyes for anything bad, but there was nothing, not even interest. Just the earnest gaze of someone that is truly listening, and truly cares. So I went on, somehow it felt wrong not to. Like a sin, no better than that Otto committed on me.43

"As I was saying, he spoke then. He called me in the harsh voice of a master really pissed at his dog, he whipped me and I dropped onto the floor at his feet. I saw his look of satisfaction, and I knew even then that something had gone horribly wrong."44

" 'Stand up boy!' He yelled, ripping me to my feet before I could comply. 'You belong to me now, and this. . .' he showed me a spiked dog collar, one I knew would harm me should I try to remove it, ' is your collar dog! You are my slave. There is no one that cares about you, and there never will be! But I. . . I will love you. If you follow my rules, and serve me well, oh yes. . . I will love you. But you must do exactly as I say!' I did everything he said, and he beat me, and he raped me as punishment I never deserved. I did everything I could to please him, I love him. He never loved me, and one day. . . ."45

"A stranger came to the door, said he was a friend of my parent's, he had spent two years tracking me down. He said my parents were dead. He first had to say 'James and Victor, they're.' but I didn't know those names. He actually had to tell a fifteen-year-old his parents had died when he was thirteen. He said he knew what they'd had to do.  He said he'd come to help me. Then he did the dumbest thing, he gave me a gun to protect myself with, in case the Master found out he had come."46

"Two days later, the Master tried again, and he found a bullet in his head. I didn't mean to kill him! I didn't mean to kill him. . . but I did. The man came back an hour later, packed me up, cleared me in trial for self-defence, said he'd take me to boarding school, and then took me to some more of his friends. I got the bounty a gang had put on the Master's head, and given the choice to make it on my own or go to that boarding school. I chose to go off on my own."47

"Now here I am, two year's later."48

~~~~~~~~_______________~~~~~~~~~49

Damien appraised me calmly, a tear welled in his eye but not falling yet. Then he acted, and I made no moves for against it. He placed his lips beside my ear. I heard him trying to speak, but nothing came of it. Then he sighed and backed away, shaking his head in, pity?50

I smiled, fake, but I did, and then crawled into his lap. This time though, I did it because I wanted to, not thought he wanted it. I wanted his smell against my nose, his skin against mine, his arms around me, and he did oblige. He didn't even try to kiss me though, and when I kissed him, he pushed my lips away regretfully just as he did the first time.51

"I can't let you do that." Simple words, ones that I didn't want to hear.52

"Why not? This isn't what I think you want, this is what I need. Please darling. . . . Hold me." I didn't know what I was saying, but somehow, it felt right to me. I didn't even understand it. What did I care?53

I got the feeling he would protest after he sat there silently for so long, but he embraced me calmly. I then sobbed into his neck like I had my dad's almost a decade before when my pet died.54

Weight shifted under me, jarring me slightly until I felt an arm wrapping under my knees and another holding onto my shoulder. He was lifting me. He carried me to the private lounge and lay me down on the couch, smiling softly to me.55

Even in this position, habit took over and I placed my lips passionately on his, pulling him down on top of me. The memory of my Master flashed by, but then as Damien gently grasped my hand and pulled his lips away from mine to kiss it tenderly, the memory shot away, taking with it the terror and shame. This felt clean, and right. It was not as it had been.56

Butterfly kisses began back on my lips, he was going to do nothing more I soon realised, and reluctantly I stopped him. Then I began my own kisses on his neck and cheeks, nipping and teasing like four years of slavery had taught me well. He made no noises though, breath still calm,erection under control, no moans or even growls.  Completely controlled, it brought back those thoughts of manipulation.57

Apparently I stopped my ministrations then and he sensed what was in my mind, because he spoke again.58

"If you have any doubts about what you are doing, please, I beg you to stop." He whispered, honesty pleading in his eyes. I just smiled and rolled over onto him on the couch.59

Tender kisses and tugs along his shirt, playful nips, then a massage as I continued down him. I stopped at his belly button to tease last of his torso, my teeth nipping the edges, my tongue sliding between the hosiery of the shirt and into it. Tasting the sweat allocated there.60

I continued down to his pant-line then, but as I pulled down his pants he stopped me, and pulled me back up for a maddening kiss. The kind of passion that send tremors through your body, yet he controlled himself, as if determined not to lose enough of himself that he would fail to see any warning sign that might occur. Allowing me to do what I was going to would have ruined that plan.61

So he pressed up against me as he ran his hands up my shirt, pinching at my already well sensitized nipples and drawing a moan of pleasure from me. Those strong hands pushed me over so he could roll back on top of me, and he took his turn at my body.62

Nips at my nipples sending sharp bolts of lightning hot pleasure up my spine, arching me up slightly, cool breathes over the wet spots peaking my sensitivity, and then slow kisses down me as he removed my shirt completely.  63

He gave me the same belly-play as I had, giving a chuckle of amusement despite himself, drawing a blush and grin to my face. His eyes became dead serious as they studied my reactions for a time, and then, apparently quite satisfied I was actually happy. He removed my pants.64

Cold air, very cold, hit my weeping member as he freed it, and then began to lick the tip lightly to enjoy those first few drops. He continued this for as long as I could have borne, and then as if I had told him, he slowly let the entirety into his mouth.65

His damp cavern of warmth encased me, drawing gasps from me easily as he began to bob his head slowly. I massaged his shoulders as all I could do as he did this, my pleasure climbing swiftly. His crimson eyes never left my face I knew, though mine left his eyes regularly as I arched in ecstasy. It was only by everything I had I managed to stop him in time.66

"What's wrong? I told you to tell me if I did something wrong. Why did you wait so long?" He was honestly worried he hurt me, I giggled sensuously as I licked his cheek.67

"I'm not ready for my release yet lover, I want to do it with you in me." I blushed despite how common this talk was for me, because there was one difference. I had said lover instead of Master. . . I had admitted out loud that this was different, and it was final at that moment, I had no more chains to that old time.68

"As you wish." He whispered, kissing me deeply as he slipped two wet fingers into me. I supposed he'd licked them before he kissed me for some reason, I was just curious really, but as the second one entered I found myself too busy with pleasure to think. Arching sharply, embedding his fingers over and over again into me as he scissored them back and fourth until he could add the third. The he stilled me with a lovely bite on the bottom lip, and entered me.69

I never knew what it was t be filled like that. It still hurt, but nothing like the other times. I was not bleeding, this was a soft, yet rigid, piece of flesh belonging to my lover that I wanted there, and the pain only lasted a moment before if melted to pleasure cursing throughout my whole body. 70

Moving with him beast I could at first, I soon found the shudders coursing me too much to control and collapsed in his arms, motioning limply for him to lay down closer to my body. I moved my arm between us and placed my hand at my entrance, marveling at the feeling of his manhood steadily pulsing in and out of me. I found my hand wrapping around his base for a moment, but lost taste for it as it stopped him from entering as fully.71

I heard him chuckle softly in my ear, and whisper 'Curious lovely?'. I nodded as I bit my lip against the oncoming moans. Just as the pleasure was getting to much to bear, and I felt the start of the climax starting to build up throbs of anticipation in him, within me; he began stroking my own member slowly, in perfect time with his rocking into my body. Then it wasn't long until climax hit us both like a tidal-wave, his essence spilling into me, and mine onto our stomachs. 72

A short while longer to finish ourselves completely, and he rises. Emptiness consumed me then, and tears began to flow. A heartbroken look appeared on his face.73

"What's the matter? Oh Gods, are you okay?" He stammered, losing all that control that even in love-making he had maintained. I smiled through the tears and violently shook me head 'no'.74

"Of course not! I just, didn't. . . . I never thought I could enjoy that. . . . And I'm so sorry it ended so soon, I had hoped you would have just stayed still on me a while longer. But I think I would be crying either way. I'm just so. . . happy!" His smile could have melted a glacier at that moment, and he bent over to kiss me one last time before he backed away again, motioning for me to join him.75

Knowing I was in no state to shower, he lead me to the bathroom sink and wet a rag with warm water before he began to wash me. He was appraising every inch of me, licking my essence off my chest and stomach as it dried before wiping the rest away with the cloth. He was cleaning me as my Master would have, so I would be a presentable slave for guests, but this was not weeks old, and it had no blood, and he was doing his best to make it enjoyable instead of a mere nuisance that must be taken care of or else there be a mess later.76

It wasn't until every inch of my body was clean, and re-cleaned of his licks and nips, that he began to clean himself. I grasped his hand immediately however, and slowly began to treat him to the same cleansing he had given me to the best of my ability. The was none of his essence left in areas I could bring myself to taste, but after cleansing him of mine I was rather keen to lick and nip at him any way. Pleased greatly by his smile.77

Then he lifted me again, and carrier me to the other couch, the on by the window, and we lay watching the moon in the sky.78

"Damien?" I asked, as we slowly were lulled by the night, reluctantly, into our dream lands.79

"Yes Xavier?" He responded with curiosity, propping himself up on an elbow to look at me.80

"I think, I love you." The revelation came as a shock to even me, I hadn't known what it was I had intended to say it, but as I did an immense rapture came over me, he had enraptured me, and I loved him. That was simple enough right?81

Shock overcame him, and then, for the first time, his reason failed him.82

"I love you too lovely. Sweet dreams."83