baby,college, & me1
mom says that I should shop early2
for the baby. I say3
'Why? I don't even know what sex my baby is yet.'4
my fetus isn't large enough to determine5
this fact yet, though I had an ultrasound.6
Mom says, 'So? At least buy a few clothes, 7
some blankets, bottles-oh especially items like bottles,8
pampers, pacifiers-you know.'9
Makes sense.10
'Okay I guess I could buy those things.'11
later 12
I hate Will & Grace13
but it's the only thing watchable14
on television15
boring talk shows16
evening news17
court tv cases18
on every channel19
mom's peeling potatoes next20
to me on the couch, shaking her head21
'Denny, oh honey...I don't know22
how your going to do it. College...and this23
baby...are you sure this is the best way24
to go?'25
Well clearly you don't26
think so, but yes I do think so.27
'I think I can do it.' 28
she sighs and skins her potatoes29
humming to herself quietly.30
later later later31
'Where are you going to stay?'32
says mom. I'm laying on her lap while33
she braids my hair. She smells like scented candles34
and dish soap.35
'I don't know. Apartment maybe.'36
'Can you afford it?'37
I nod. 'Yes.'38
This is partly true. I have half of it.39
Zale and I were supposed to work this40
out together.41
since he's not here42
the plan is:43
me wait tables44
while stomach is45
pretty much flat46
and when it begins to overgrow47
I quit48
take a break from music school49
I can save tip money50
to help pay rent and...find another job51
to bring more money in. One where I can work from home.52
I think my plan still has plenty53
of holes. It's so fragile. I doubt it'd54
actually work but it seems believable.55
I chew my thumbnail.56
'And what about you? What will you do?57
Who's going to be there when you have this baby?'58
God.59
I haven't even worked that in.60
'I-I don't know mom.'61
'Jesus. You need that boy's help.'62
I know this. Bu he won't.63
Before yes. Now...64
he won't.65
He;s furious with me.66
I try not to dwell on this.67
It just causes more doubt.68
***69
Pay Phone70
the sun scorches the71
earth as if it's punishing us.72
sweaty men pouring bottles of water73
over themselves74
handheld fans cooling down people75
in vehicles with broken air conditioners76
I'm sitting in the car77
waiting for mom78
who's inside the freeze box79
of 7-11 buy cheery Slurpee's80
I hop out of the car81
running towards the ratty pay phone82
standing next to the air pump83
graffiti scrawled in black84
names85
phones numbers86
I insert two quarters 87
punching the silver keys88
to Zale's cell89
I've been arguing with myself since last90
night about this.91
chewing my thumbnail anxiously92
listening to the rings93
the line clicks94
Zale's baritone95
voice uttering a tired96
hello97
my lungs close up98
heart on pause99
crackling in the background takes100
over the silence101
world feels like102
it's spinning out of control103
and I'm dizzy and sweaty104
'Hello?' Says Zale again105
then repeats himself twice106
I command my lungs107
to reopen108
to breathe109
I blow into the receiver110
so that he knows111
someone is there112
so that he knows113
that someone is me114
and he say nothing for a minute115
then116
'Denzel,' not angrily117
'I don't want to talk to you.' simply.118
and he hangs up.119
holding onto the phone120
hard enough121
to break my nails122
hoping that I'll load123
the strength 124
to shatter it into125
a thousand pieces126
all this frustration127
and anger and hurt128
taking it out on a pay phone.129
Author notes
here it is!! i swear the end is nearing!!!!! like..um...five more parts i think. 
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
I've never thought of it as being romantic. Sad & funny yes, but not romanitc. I guess the Zale factor is what makes it kind of a love story.
-
HeeHee!! . Some of the 'poems' just pop out of nowhere while I'm doing stuff around the house. Other times, Real life inspires some of the poems. Like some of the things Denzel's thinks, those are my thoughts. Or the things she says, I say those things. The relationship between Denzel and her father-that's my relantionship with my own parents. So most of it is imagination and some not.
-
I know I know!!! Everybody wants to see Zale I added the mom in becaue I only mentioned her once so I thought It'd be a good idea to bring her back. Hopefully Part 29,30, & 31 will be posted tomorrow. I'm too tired to add anything now just coming from the hospita
but I am writing much so just keep looking out!! And thanks so much!!!
-
Great! It's been a while since I read part early 20 something, and I was REALLY excited when I saw this. It is getting BETTER BETTER BETTER with each chapter. I'm so glad that the mom is there, but...zale is not.
wahhhhhhhhh! i know (and hope) they get back together 
Keep it up, I'll be on the lookout for part 29! 
-Juliette
-
i really really really really really really love this story its so sad, happy and romantic all at the same time! keep up the good work! ~krista~
-
Oh my God! Seriously, this tory keeps getting more and more depth to it... Sheesh, where do you get the ideas for this stuff?? Keep it up, girl!
-
LMFAO Kat. chill honey. sheesh. 
it's going to be okay. 
-
TIA YOU EVIL PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRR You're on my list!!! This is NOT what I needed. . . Grrrrrr. . Eric. . .
>,.<
GRRR WHERE ARE YOU???
-
I won't make any promises about adding more today but I will try!!!!
-
yay
i cna't wiat for more....and thanx for the secret u told me ill be queit about it!!! YAY i ihope there is more today!! YAY
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
