Angel

The day was beautiful. The sun was shining, the frost was melting, and the light reflected perfectly off those little bits of ice. I felt weird, unlike I had ever felt before. Due to this odd feeling I started wandering around town. My footfalls occasionally echoed back to my ears. My hands swayed back and forth at my sides. Hair fell in my eyes but I brushed it back just as quickly, except it had fallen again. I didn't mind, if I did I would get it cut.1

I ended up in a couple different stores. The people inside glanced my way but I became invisible to their gaze as soon as they thought they saw me. Somehow there was always something that caught their eye, but I filtered away before I was too tempted to be seen.2

I journeyed through the mall slowly. Children smiled at me. Parents never even caught a glimpse. The innocent ones were the only ones who cared to see me.3

Soon I spotted a young school child who appeared to be with her mother. They must have been shopping for something in particular because nothing was ever what they wanted. The mother kept a strong grip on her daughters arm, an almost bruising looking hold. I began following them, from afar.4

This child was beautiful. The absolute perfection of a child. Long brown hair put up simply, yet prettily atop a short body not yet worried about looks. A carefully worn dress with panty hose that was almost see-through. Tight fitting shoes encasing little bitty feet and wiggly baby toes. The smile that lit the girl’s face was like the sun on a winter day. It came unexpectedly, but when it was there... Wow. Nothing could have compared to that brightness.5


My thoughts meandered back to my odd feeling. What was I to do about it? I only wanted to talk to someone, but no one who could understand would listen. I was alone in the midst of a crowd. A singular unit in a compound fraction. Lost... But this child seemed to bring comfort. This child lit up a part of me I forgot had existed. Beautiful misery.6

I looked back at the child. She had spotted me, and was smiling that gorgeous smile again. I smiled back in reply, with a wink I turned as though I was going to leave, but a sudden movement from her mother stopped me. She jerked the child's arm so hard I thought it was going to pop out of its place. I stopped moving and stared. The child's eyes were no longer on me but instead on the floor. Apparently, she knew what was happening. I continued to stare.7

'You quit staring at things. I swear if I had known you'd be such a pain in the butt I never woulda had you. Woulda stopped it before you coulda ever been thought of.' Again she jerked the child's arm, the girl’s sight never left the ground. A tear fell to her cheek, her unheld arm stayed at her side.8

'If it weren't for the law,' the woman said as she dragged the child along beside her, 'I'd take you home and beat you till you couldn't move. Let alone let those eyes of yours move about.' Again she jerked the arm around to make her move to a different spot, rather than at her side she's in front of her.9

Finally, the moment I had been dreading came. The woman pulled back her hand and smacked the little girl across the face. My heart stopped. How anyone could do that to a child is quite beyond me. It's not even within my grasp of understanding. I took a step forward. People rush by, none of them pay attention to me. I spotted a couple eyes glance toward woman and child but no one stopped, nor did they do anything. Most minds agreed, it's none of their business.10

The little girls face was slightly red, especially where the hand had smacked it. Still, no tears were wiped. Eyes did not rise.11

Finding the child was not going to reply or even look at her caused the woman even more anger. Her hand went to the chin of the child; she lifted it so her head was at least looking in the right direction, even as the eyes stayed lowered. As the child's head was moved up her nose became visible, and her child mouth with teeth not yet fallen out and still erratically formed were seen, too. At this sight I became resolute.12

With lips moving to silent words, she appeared to be praying.13

Lips curled and rage building, the mother stared. Her free hand clenched into a tight fist. The time was then. I made myself visible and stood right next to the duo.14

'Excuse me.'15

The woman turned her gaze on me. She was clearly disturbed by my appearance; I looked nothing like the people she would expect to talk to her. Why would I suddenly be there doing the one thing she did not expect?16

'Can you believe this?'17

The woman was confused. I was being too general for her to follow my thought. She shook her head.18

'No, I don't know what you're talking about.'19

'Why, life, of course! This wretched fetching place calls us individually and yet somehow together we coexist. Some of us seeing what goes on around us, others symbolically assuming there is no reason to look. I, for one, take a walk on both sides of that line. I look at everything, and wonder why I'm looking, and why others are not. That shirt over there, for instance. So catastrophic in appearance, yet astronomically high in price. For what, something in the olden days we used to all make for ourselves, or die? Someone's getting rich out there. And it's not me. It's asinine for any of us to let this happen. But honestly, what are we to do? Discontinue buying items that are too outrageous? Certainly not, our economy couldn't stand it, our livelihoods wouldn't follow it, and most people wouldn't even try it. So ask you this, why are we here on earth?'20

She stared at me. No one, certainly not someone like me, would come up to her and start talking. And most definitely no one would walk up to her and start spouting out words that seemingly did not make any sense. And even further, why would she stand there and let them? They would obviously be crazy to even consider doing it.21

"I'm sorry. We must be going now."22

I stepped in her way, almost. She could have easily gotten by but something stopped her, other than the look that was on my face. The child was watching me. Not certain what I was doing except delaying the inevitable. Still, they stayed there and looked at me.23

"Please, just tell me what your thoughts are. I'll give you this penny."24

They followed my gaze to the ground and saw a shiny penny sitting there, lucky side up. I bent over and picked it up, placed it in my palm, and held it out to the woman. She stared at it a moment before looking into my eyes again.25

"Who are you?"26

I looked right back into her eyes.27

"Who are you?"28

She's upset at me, I could tell. I shrugged.29

"I am just someone that's interested. That's all."30

Still holding the gaze of the woman, I put the penny out to the child. Obscurely, she took it and hid it without her mother knowing.31

I flashed a quick smile, meaning my time was up.32

"Thanks anyway, I suppose. Good day to you."33

My steps carried me away, but I glanced back and the child was looking at me. I winked at her and a slight grin fell on her cherub face. The mother was dazed. Such an odd person, she thought. Her thoughts elsewhere she grabbed hold of her daughters arm, nicer this time as she's not really focusing, and they traveled out of the store. It must be a horrible place if they let crazies like that in.34


Now I realize why I had been walking around, meandering aimlessly because of my loss of understanding. I follow it all now.35

I'm well aware that child will more than likely still be on the receiving end of that woman's rage, and I understand even further that I didn't truly help, except in that single moment. But as I walk back into the sun, my silhouette only there for a moment, I recognize the power of what I had just done. Because I stopped for that single moment and took an interest in the duo, I changed her life. My conscience is cleaner now.36

~~~37

A few weeks later I hear of that little girl. Beautiful little girl, with an angel's face and an even greater heart, dead by the hands of her mother.38

My stopping only delayed the inevitable. In my heart, I realize this is the truth. Still, I feel no regret. I know that before that child died she found one of the rarest elements in life... a stranger that cared.
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