Seeds of vengeance........!

I loved her more than my life. I still do.. They call me a criminal of the holiest belief & may be I am if ‘love’ is crime . It all happened in such a tender age that today a 19 year old guy is writing about his life. I remember it was in 8th std that my life changed. Even today I don’t regret that I loved a person who hated me. In fact whatever I’m today is all because of her-her love, hatred & trust.1

Tears run down from my eyes, & it’s the most embarrassing moment of my life. I never thought I would be writing my memoirs in this way. I have lost trust in god……………2

No I cant continue now….Please.....3

It was Christmas—the day of holy Jesus. I had been waiting for this day for a long time now……… & why not, I was going to propose my dream girl that day. It was completely a strange feeling for someone who not so long ago hated the word ‘love’. I mean, I never thought I would be loving a person then. After a bit of hesitation, I finally persuaded my conscience to go ahead! 4

The weather was breezy. I saw her waiting for me outside the school. Without wasting(blowing) any time I spoke out the three golden words. It took her with surprise, though she was no stranger to proposes, she didn’t expected it to from me? Very wisely she answered “Shaan, look I knew you love me & this was expected sooner than later but please give me some time, I mean, the day I feel, you really love me I’m ready to leave the whole world for you, but for god sake lets enjoy our life now!”. 5

I agreed with her, ‘coz somewhere she was right. Some how I managed to prevent my love ruin our relationship & blow up further vessels. 6

Weeks passed, followed by months & than years………? With this passage of time my love for her grew manifolds. Then sudden strange happened & as destiny wanted, the vessel was blown………!! 7

After a long tempting I surrendered to my friends belief—that She loves me. I knew they were wrong but even I couldn’t stop myself. And I was lost deep in this sea of tranquility not knowing the mayhem I was welcoming.8

You can call it an act of betrayal or a self planned hara-kiri. As the time passed I got weaker in my studies & my board results were enough to break my parents expectations from their son. But how would I have said them that their son is in love with someone. Everyone was there for me- my parents, my love & even my self proclaimed true friends but in reality I was all alone. I battled this loneliness for close one & a half years & at last I succeeded in finding solace. No I didn’t got my love back but a the desire of revenge carries me further now. Today the so-called friends are my biggest enemy .9

Although I still love that girl who gave me only tears (there seems to be a divine force which says me to stick to my love). May be I was born to love her & it will remain the same till my death-bed. I never in my dream thought that life is going to take such a drastic turn but it’s all in one’s destiny……..10

There is one thing in my life for which I regret the most that I never had a person to be called a friend? May be I will find it in ……………………..say… dictionary!