Dear Natasha

Dear Natasha;1

I love you please know that at least.2

I cant hug you, hold u or See you grow up but I can talk to you.3

I miss you so much and knowing I will never experience it exactly hurts but I promise you I will protect you and talk to you, What are older sisters for? God I feel so cheated! Why is what runs through my head, Why?4

You mean so much to me, what I wouldn't give for a day with you, I would wish for a life time but anything would mean so much to me. 5

I must face reality, there is nothing that can do that. 6

You are dead and I am alive, nothing can change that except my death.7

You wouldn't want that though, my mum cannot lose another daughter.8

I know you must feel so alone, you must find everything so hard but I am ALWAYS HERE. I know you must feel so alone but I do to because you are not with me. 9

I miss you more than I can ever describe and a part of me is always missing. 10

Never forget that I love you princess, never my darling.11

Sweetheart, I have decided that we could have stairway to heaven and my immortal as our song, would that be okay?12

I feel so cheated hunny. 13

I wish I could just cuddle you in the night.14

I bet you would be beautiful and Gothic, you would be so much like your mother and I would never ever let you get hurt by guys as I have. Never.15

I never will. I have to go now.16

Forever and always holding on17

I miss you and I love you18

PS PLEASE don't be sad when my tears fall for you and my knife pierces my skin, only you will know and I know that secret is safe with you and me. It is just my way of .... remembering.19

Catie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Your loving sister, friend and protector.20

Love is an unfit to describe how much I care for you. Love means so much less than how I feel. 21