My Trial

I walked into the courtroom silent. The judge was seated sternly. He eyes looked at me and penetrated my soul. The expression on his face was somber. I feared. I could tell he was just, righteous and holy. Before him, I stood no chance. I knew I was condemned before the trial began.1

My accuser rose to speak, 'Your honor, the transgressions of the accused are too great and too numerous to name them all. I shall be brief and only mention the most serious. I know you'll find these examples sufficient to prove that the accused has broken every law written.'2

My heart sank.3

'Proceed.' came the word of the judge. Proceed, as if he already knew what was to come. Proceed, for I, the accused, needed to hear my crimes. Proceed ,the judge will patiently listen to that which he already knew.4

'As you know, your honor, the accused was born of a tender woman who's heart desired good for her son. She sacrificed and toiled to give her children many blessings. Yet, the accused often returned the favor grudgingly. He would complain out loud or inwardly. He spoke harshly to her at times, brought tears of pain to her eyes and disobeyed her. Her intent was to raise a son who followed the law. She sought to protect him from harm. An yet, he blatantly disregarded her teaching, her advice and her rules. '5

I knew his words to be true. I loved my mother, but had disobeyed and had hurt her deeply.6

'What is your plea?' asked the judge.7

'Guilty.' I said lowering my eyes.8

'Guilty' and the gavel struck the wooden bench condemning me.9

'Next the accused has murdered!'10

Murder. There was a gasp in the courtroom. Murder. 'Wait. No, that's not true, your honor. I have never killed anyone!' I pleaded. I knew I was out of order, but I was shocked. I had not murdered.11

'Your honor, your law states that if a man has angry malice in his heart toward another man, then it is the same as murder. The accused has often seethed with malice toward his fellow man. He has condemned others without knowing the full extent of their story. He lowered men in his mind to exalt himself. He as judged others as unrighteous to make himself feel righteous. He has maligned the character of others to others. He has agreed with those who accused without hearing the testimony of the accused. He has held grudges, been unmerciful, unkind and most condemning. He has murdered, your honor.'12

The accuser was right. I knew it. 13

'Is this true?' the judge asked already knowing the answer.14

'Yes.'15

'Guilty' and down again came the crash of the gavel.16

'Next the accused is an adulterer, a multiple offender...'17

'I have NOT even had sexual intercourse. I remain celibate!' I hastily blurted out. I often felt justified by my celibacy. I had kept myself celibate. I could not be an adulterer.18

'Once again, your honor, I make reference to your very laws which state that if a man lusts in his heart after a woman, then he has committed adultery with her. The accused not only has lusted in his heart and mind, but with his eyes, with his hands, with his mouth. While it's true has not participated in the physical act, he has done so with his mind and heart. He has looked at a woman not seeing her as a beloved child of the Most Holy, not as a sister or a mother but as an object of desire to satisfy him. He has not only fantasied, but he also participated in shameful acts. He has both seen and touched body parts which the law forbids him to see and touch. His mouth has kissed the lips of sinful woman for his own pleasure. He is an adulterer, your honor.'19

I knew I was guilty. I hung my head in shame.20

'Guilty.' I whispered.21

Down came the gavel.22

'The accused is also a thief.'23

I was about to object, but I had learned my lesson. I remained silent.24

'The accused of often stolen hours from his employer having agreed to do a full days work for a full days wage, he did not. He has taken things not his own be they small or not, they were not his. He has stolen time by wasting away his given purpose in life. He has stolen from God not giving the full tithe to your work, not giving what he could have sacrificed. In stead he spent money on sinful pleasures. He is a thief.'25

'True.' I said with tears.26

Down came the gavel shaking my heart.27

'The accused is a liar. He not only has withheld the truth, but has also told outright falsehoods to maintain a false righteous image of himself to others. He has told condemning rumors about others not obtaining the true facts. He has kept silent when others were being accused rather the seek out or speak the truth. He is a liar.'28

'Guilty.' and I shook my head realizing my shame.29

'Guilty' pounded the gavel.30

'The accused has been blessed with many material pleasures, many relational gifts, and many other intangibles. Yet he would see what others had and wanted that. He has desired other men's material blessings. He has desired other men's wives. He has set his focus on what has not been given him, been angry for not receiving and sought to obtain on his own. He covets what has not been given him.'31

'I have. I do.' I admitted.32

'Guilty' echoed the pounding upon the wood.33

'So far, your honor, I have only mentioned crimes against his fellow man. I now move to crimes against the very God who made him and loved him.'34

'He has many other gods whom he worshiped. He worshiped the female body as I have already mentioned. He has worshiped himself most frequently, placing his needs and desire over the needs and desires of others thus neglecting the very will of his God. He has worshiped entertainment, money, material, time, security, and pleasure to name a few. He has numerous false gods.'35

Guilty pounded the gavel. I had no need to admit it.36

'He has built for himself false idols of these false gods. He created shrines to them. I submit as evidence his banking statements showing clearly where he has spent much of his money. You can clearly see the items purchased for his sinful pleasures. He has served his false gods many times not only with money but with time.'37

I did not need to be reminded of the specifics. I knew the pictures, the events, the places, the times. I was guilty.38

'Guilty' hammered the gavel shaking my body.39

'The very name which is to be exalted above all names has been maligned, misused, and abused by the accused many times. He has loosely used the name as a vent for frustration, not as a prayer but as a curse. He has born this name, identified himself with this name and the acted sinfully putting this name to shame in front of others. I remind your honor of the very things for which you have already pronounced guilt.'40

Down came the gavel. My body and soul were now trembling.41

'Lastly, your honor, the very day that has been set aside since the beginning for worshiping and honoring the God who made the day holy has been blatantly abused and misused. The accused has not only failed to worship and honor on this day of all days, but has repeatedly sinned in other ways on this day. This day which was intended to be most holy has often been turned into the most unholy of times by the accused. He has failed over and over again in his worship of the God who brought him into existence. You can plainly see the accused is guilty of breaking every law. I rest my case.' 42

The gavel came down harder and louder than it ever had. I knew I was doomed., completely and utterly.43

'You have heard the accusations and admitted your guilt. Therefore you are guilty as charged. The sentence is death. You shall be beaten in your face and spat upon. You shall be scourged until you are near death. Having made yourself a king above the King, you shall wear a crown of thorns and be mocked while you wait. You shall carry a heavy wooden cross in your weakened state up hill. You shall be stripped of all clothing and dignity. You shall have long thick nails pounded into your hands and feet. You shall hang on a cross unable to breathe without pushing yourself up in excruciating pain until you are unable to push any more. Then you shall die of affixation. Do you consider this punishment just?'44

I trembled and shook my head yes.45

'Are you ready to take the punishment, son?'46

I could not speak.47

'Are you ready to take the punishment, son?'48

'Yes, I AM.' spoke a voice behind me. I turned and I saw Him. 49

'I have done no wrong and willingly submit myself to take his punishment.'50

I stood in awe as he was taken away. I stood as he was blind folded and beaten in the face. I heard the mocking question, 'Who struck you?' I then watched as the cattails which should have struck my flesh tore at His. Lash after lash came down until His bones were exposed. I cringed in horror. I feared He would not survive as blood spattered and covered the ground. When will it end? I wanted to scream, 'Stop!' I wanted to take His place and receive the punishment for my crimes. And yet, He willing took every beating, every whip, every lash until He was no longer recognizable. Finally it stopped. I cried. I saw the crown of thorns twisted upon His head. I heard the mocking praises. This man was a king, yet exercised none of His authority to stop this. He remained silent. I saw Him carry the burden that should have been mine as he made his way up the hill condemned for my crime. I saw the nails pound into his hands and feet like the gavel coming down pronouncing my guilt. I cried as he hung there in excruciating pain. I remembered all my sins, all my guilt. I saw his love as he endured the pain that should have been mine. 51

'Paid in full.' were the last words He uttered. He looked me in the eye, took his last breath and died.